When what you’re doing is no longer working { introducing Mr. or Ms. Passion }

 click on the photo for the book “Burning Desire: The Jimi Hendrix Experience through the Lens of Ed Caraeff”

Ed Caraeff was only 17 years old when he made the photo of a kneeling Jimi Hendrix who had set his guitar on fire.
He became a successful photographer, and 40 years later, he sold all his possessions including his photographic library, to travel across America in a camper.
Because he was so young when he started working, he wanted to make up for lost time.

Whether being guided from within age 17, like Ed Cardaeff, is thanks to luck, a personality trait, faith in God, or perhaps even something that can be trained?
When your passion calls you out that loudly, you walk the right path automatically.
And to the envy of many who do not have Jeanne d’Arc like callings. 

But there is a flip side…
The day when you realize it’s no longer working.

People who have learned to love their job (or each other!), or who have made a sensible choice for a profession that offers stability or gives them a sense of purpose, will be able to carry on even when things are shifting;
But for the passionate ones, like Ed, that is a hard landing.

You can compare it to the difference between a relationship that is functional because you re in your thirties and want children;
And a love affair you canceled your return ticket for, lost your job over, and are now stuck with abroad, and you can’t go back home because of Covid.

In the first situation, if the marriage is no longer serving you, you will be able to keep it up for a good while. Maybe even forever. Because it was largely designed and planned out to begin with.

But if you were used to doing everything intuitively and in full connection?
In full wanting of each other?
(there were times when you didn’t even eat that’s how much sex you had!)
And then suddenly conscious efforts are required to even remotely get along?
That stings.

So at times like that, it’s good to realize that it’s one or the other.

Either you re going to plan out your life, and make it sustainable;
But then you re never going to taste the sweet high of being carried by Life itself, always knowing the next step, having more energy than you would possibly know what to do with, creating your best work, needing hardly any sleep;
OR you’re going to enjoy all those things, and not be sensible and stable at all.

Whether you’re one or the other is (probably) set (by now).
But they can both train or work to get better outcomes!

Whether you’re Mr. or Ms. Passion or Mr. or Ms.  Plan;
There’s no reason to not get you where you want to go.
Providing you don’t work against your talent.

However what I have experienced, is that we as a society know much about how Mr. and Ms. Plan can reach for their dreams;
And very little about how Mr. or Ms. Passion should go about them.

The biggest difference between being someone who is comfortable planning their life, and someone who lives with passion and from an intrinsic need to do something, to answer a call, is that we (the creative and the passionate ones) also tend to muscle through it, thinking of our end goal.
When that will never work with us.
Instead, we need to find the passion back.

So what do you do then?
I imagine Ed Caraeff being front row at a Lenny Kravitz gig, and it was the one where his pants were accidentally ripped open and he was suddenly naked on stage. 
And Ed finds himself eye rolling instead of clicking his camera….

You stop.
You be.
You just allow that sense of knowing you’re in the wrong spot to sink in and allow all the feelings that come with it.

If I look back on my life, it is the ONE lesson I could have learned earlier;
When it’s no longer working, for a passionate creative person?

That is a whole different ballgame than if it’s no longer working for someone who has been consciously designing and planning his or her life.
They can tweak and hack around it;
But for us such a thing is pointless.

We need to burn the bridge and move on. 

So here I am, December 2020.
One year after I became single.
Two years after I became a Bon Jovi fan.
And it is time to burn the bridge.

Just like Ed Careaff, I have cleared out all the paperwork.
Removed the list of Bon Jovi concerts I was going to review, from my kitchen cabinet.
Tore out a manually written catalog of Bon Jovi songs, from an A4 journal. Threw them out and stored the remainder of the notebook with only blank pages.
Cleared out my ringbinder with information on the 1995-1996 tour.
I unfollowed all Bon Jovi accounts, and Bon Jovi affiliated accounts.
The only ones I kept are people I consider friends.

So here I am.
With absolutely nothing to show for.

Yet I feel as if I’m 24 years old, on my knees;
And I just set my guitar on fire.

Rock Star Writer

The New Rock Star Writer 

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I have no idea what I m going to do on YouTube from now on.
but I ll be there as soon as I know! 😉 Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

How to ROCK your biz online, serve fans, make millions, and have everybody THROW their credit card at you.

I m going to open this blog post with a tweet that says how you want your Google reviews to be,
how you want your tribe to think of you,
how you want your FANS (aka customers or clients) to GLOW after having purchased your service.
Here it is: “Almost better than sex.” and a blush on their cheeks.
That is the kind of response we’re looking for.

The tweet you just saw was my response to attending a free live chat on the now emptied out channel hAnD90 (see yesterday’s post, on why hAnD90’s channel is gone),
but you’re going to want that desired response even more for any product or service people paid for.
Like for example, if your name is Bon Jovi, and due to Covid you have to take your business model online.

“Almost better than sex” is what we’re looking for, and here’s how to ROCK being a business online, make millions, get the fans, thoroughly satisfy all, throw in an encore, and another one,
ake them BEG for more;
How to 


So are you still with me out there?
Then fasten your seat-belts, because for the next three headers, my ass is yours.

the three things to make your biz ROCK online

1. Show up and show up HARD!

I don’t know what it is about Jon Bon Jovi’s presence in the online space, or general showing up in front of a camera, but whatever THAT is, that he brings to a live performance on a real stage?

Oh, he’s that leaving it at home.

I have not seen that RAW unapologetical Let.Me.Show.You.How.It’s.DONE! energy anywhere, since touring stopped in 2019.
Since late last year, when the first work of the new Bon Jovi album “2020” was shared with the public, it became clear this would be a  serious album.
The tone was a lot bleaker than Bon Jovi had ever been, b
ut Covid inspired additions to the album, and lack of touring, might have given Bon Jovi’s upbeat rock n roll power, the final blow.

The live streams looked pale, compared to anything we had seen in all those years.

So the first lesson if you want to make it online is:
Show up and show up HARD
Just like a rock show this thing ain’t gonna work, if people “can’t hear you in the back.”;
You need to be loud.
You need to be bold.
And you need to take showing up online, as
serious as Jon Bon Jovi took his live performances for over three decades.

Amp it up!
And then amp it up some more!

2. ask for the sale, always

If you re online people do not buy because you’re selling a unique service.
People also don t buy because you’re offering more for less either.

They buy because they relate to YOU, root for YOU, and then they will basically buy whatever it is you want to sell.

Jon Bon Jovi could be selling gym memberships this week, high-ticket entrance to his inner-circle over the weekend, and start fresh on Monday selling $5 tickets to a rerun from a premium This House is Not For Sale concert, where he will be attending online and we’ll all be sharing our favorite Bon Jovi tour memories.

Or there can be a weekly offer selling concerts/ tour bundles, which will then be uploaded to your Bon Jovi dashboard. 
Imagine the appeal, of collecting them all – how as a fan you just want to unlock all the bundles, all the concerts, you can see right before you on the dashboard.
Now there’s a business model for you.

Yet generic memberships programs, the way many online service providers have them, are unsatisfying.
Not in the least to your wallet, both from the purchaser as the business.

But specialized memberships programs, that offer whatever it is the client is interested in, can be amazing.

In Bon Jovi’s case you could have:
Memberships programs with interaction with Jon.
Memberships programs around affiliated merchandise, sweaters etc.
Memberships programs around musical merchandise, vinyl, etc.
Memberships programs around buying videos and video bundles, f.e.buying recordings of one leg of a tour, or individual concert.

You can sell the online bundles at a 50% discount, in the week you premiere them, keeping everyone on the edge of their seat, what will be released next.
Credit card in hand!

Make selling part of your everyday routine. 
You are showing up for everyone.
You are in a relationship with everyone.
And you’re selling to everyone.

Practice it until asking for the sale is as natural as breathing.

3. Always overdeliver

The current discussion, the one that made hAnD90 take down his YouTube channel, revolved around hAnD90 having shared content that was said to be part of a membership program.
The question arose:
“If this content is shared in the public space, what are we paying for?”

“We” should be paying because we want to
because they re overdelivering so much, that we will not care about about two videos leaking and are still delighted with our purchase.

If you want to make it online, you want to be overdelivering so much on your FREE content already, everybody so involved, hanging onto every word, that they are just waiting to pay you.
That it’s a natural progression of what you have on a day to day basis.

Overdelivering for paid content means: Give a discount, add in bonuses, make surprise appearances, and make people feel just really good about their purchase.

If you attend to the relationship so well people WANT to pay you, AND overdeliver, it will not matter at all if some of it has leaked, or if technically they could have gotten the content somewhere else for free, or for less.
Because your offer will have so many whistles and bells on it;

It’s rocking the house.

When you show up as strong as Jon Bon Jovi shows up on stage;
When you consistently ask for the sale, tell them what you’re selling right now, and do it knowing that you’re actually doing them a disservice NOT to tell them how to join or go next level if they want to;
And when you always overdeliver on what you bring to the table;

You’re going to ROCK your biz online, serve fans, make millions,
and have everybody THROW their credit card at you.

Even when you’re not Bon Jovi.

Rock Star Writer

update December 2020

As long as the hAnD90 channel is down, all Bon Jovi related series on this site and my YouTube have been suspended.

Curious how the Bon Jovi/ hAnD90 saga will pan out, and what on earth we re gonna talk about should I drop out of being a fan?
So am I!
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hAnD90 Channel Down | THE END of Bon Jovi on this site?

This is my last post until:
– the site from hAnD90 is back up
– January 2021, when it will continue Bon Jovi- free, probably as Rock Star Yoga

I could not find an image of that beautiful logo that hAnD90 used at the beginning of every Bon Jovi concert video:
A hand.

You could already hear the audio in the background, usually the crowd cheering, sometimes Jon talking.
And after the image of the hand had slowly drifted closer towards you,
it would disappear, and you would see where you were.
In a stadium.
A hall.
Or a more intimate setting.

For I believe ten years plus, Dominik’s YouTube channel hAnD90, has been a beacon for us fans.
And my site Rock Star Writer or Rock Star Yoga as it was called in the first year, is just as much a tribute to his channel hAnD90 as it is to Bon Jovi.

The first time I knew I was going to see the name hAnD90 a lot more often, was when I saved the recording of the concert, Nijmegen Netherlands 2019, knowing I would listen to it over and over again.
It was his, he had received the recording from friends.
Suddenly I knew who the two men were right behind me, who had refused to speak when I said something:
They didn’t want to ruin the recording with their voices!

The hAnD90 recording from Nijmegen, Netherlands 2019, was recorded from the golden circle and it was one of the many excellent recordings, of four decades of Bon Jovi concerts, that had the (I m gonna say it!) honor to be remastered by hAnD90. 

I refuse to go into full-on obituary mode here, after all I don’t even know what happened to the channel.
All I know is that Jon Bon Jovi’s brother has been inquiring which channel had shared exclusive “JBJ experience” members-only recordings on YouTube, and next thing anyone knows hAnD90’s channel is cleared out.

So not going into obituary mode means:
I m not going to look back on who hAnD90 WAS (past tense), and that his description boxes got so personal and at the same time very techy, which I found an enticing combination!
I refuse to see this as The End – 
To commemorate just one brilliant video hAnD90 made.

If this should be final, I will do more research and write a piece about the hAnD90 channel.
But not today.

I also think this is not the time to share my take on business models, 
but I will say that anyone who thinks art can be protected by putting a paywall around it, has got it wrong.

Anyone built for the future is in a continuous conversation with their fans and they can pay to be closer to you, to be in your energy. 
That’s it.
Payment is almost a symbolic thing: It is because you give so much value, that people are happy they can finally pay you.
You pay for the experience of being part of a community; Not because you can’t get the products or digital products cheaper or free somewhere else. 

However, from this day forward, I will never speak or write of them again, as long as the hAnD90 channel is down.
I m quitting all series here, and my YouTube series of Bon Jovi concerts 1995-1996. 
And not just because I looked forward to reviewing the concerts hAnD90 had remastered, but as a principle.

There is so much I want to say, about the business model, about bootlegging (Jon’s loud: “Bootleggers roll your tapes!” has been the inclusive message ever since the 90s!), about how it is the fans that ultimately make the tribe.
Yes, you can remove all your bootlegs from YouTube.
Just ask Guns N Roses.

The reason this site is NOT about Guns N Roses, is because they do not have that legacy. I have nothing to work with.
A handful of GNR albums, and all bootlegs removed….

But Bon Jovi has stayed in business throughout, always making records,
surviving even the departure of their lead guitarist.
But it were the bootlegs on YouTube and hAnD90s remastered recordings that made the fandom ALIVE.

It were the fans who breathed life into Bon Jovi, just as much as they gave it to us.

Ironically the songs hAnD90 posted were called Shine and Luv Can.

As Axl Rose would say:
“Take that one to heart.”

Rock Star Writer

Curious how this will all pan out?!
So am I!
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Welcome to Rock Star Yoga & 2020 Vision | Rock Star Yoga Course

Every Rock Star Yoga lesson in this course will have:

1. a video from my YouTube vault.
This week the first video I ever created:
“Welcome to Rock Star Yoga”

2. a newly written chapter:
Today I look back at biggest takeaway on how I started:
“2020 Vision”

And you can follow me on Facebook or Twitter for my personal yoga practice.

video: Welcome to Rock Star Yoga | { Class of 2019 – 2020 }

In this very first video, created June 21, 2019,
I talk about the
history of Rock Star Yoga (and why I switched to English);
The main difference with regular yoga, and even tying that to sex (it’s good to see how bold I was back then!);
How it all started at a Bon Jovi concert;
And it has a lot of cat cuddles in it.
More information and links related to this video in the description box on YouTube.

2020 Vision { chapter 1 }

Saturday November 28, 2020

photo: first video June 2019 | When I started what I called Rock Star Yoga, I knew I started without having the full vision. But what I didn’t know was how happy I would be in November 2020 that I had recorded everything I did know at the time.

Welcome to Rock Star Yoga! 
Because this lineage, this passion, you could even say my legacy of Rock Star Yoga, has had a, perhaps unsurprisingly;
ROCK-y start!

Rock Star Yoga started on YouTube, but about seven months in, I had to take it down because YouTube went through a software update and unedited my videos.
What I didn’t tell at the time, when I excused myself for taking all those videos offline, was that I had grown increasingly uncomfortable sharing it.
For many reasons, but what springs to mind are:

– my own yoga practice was erratic at best.
– I was withdrawing from teaching yoga more and more.
– the videos had become too much yoga and too little Bon Jovi. Too little rock. Too little about the things that gave me energy.

The last thing I wanted was Rock Star Yoga to be real yoga, and yet that is what it was slipping into.
I was creating yoga videos, I was writing about the yoga aspect, creating yoga schedules, and slowly but gradually it had knocked the fun out of it.

I was a yoga teacher from 2004 to late 2019, but didn’t really stop until Covid ended my lessons for friends and I paused my online classes because I just needed to get my vision back on what it was I wanted to teach.

By chance, this rocky start has illustrated one of the key principles of Rock Star Yoga versus all other yoga;
I believe your vision, a vision, comes first.
Your idea should not necessarily be crystal clear in terms of details (the hows), but the essence of it should be almost tangible, before there is any doing.

The vision should be clear enough, sturdy enough, defined enough, that when someone throws a new idea or perspective at you, you immediately see if it matches your vision.
When I started Rock Star Yoga, I had that level of clarity.
So even though the road would get rocky, when I started sharing Rock Star Yoga on YouTube and this blog, I did know what was part of it and what wasn’t.

If someone had thrown an idea at me I would have been able to say:
Yes, that’s a part of (in my case) Rock Star Yoga.
That’s not Rock Star Yoga.

If I had not been that certain, I would not have started.

And yet I failed to “rock” Rock Star Yoga the way I intended, and slipped into mistakes like teaching actual yoga on YouTube, knowing very well that the core of Rock Star Yoga was a mindset one.
And that the Rock Star Yoga exercise, or practice, was an individual and intuitive one.

The teacher, the classes, the books, the tools, the apps;
Everything that taught you the hows of yoga, was in my opinion contributing to you not finding your own way, and to you not doing nor developing your own yoga.

And yet there I was, teaching actual yoga on YouTube.
There I was, making yoga schedules for this blog.
What had started as a clear and profound vision, ended up on a slippery slope downhill.
YouTube unediting my videos was the death of it, but it was also a convenient excuse to end a project that had gone sideways.

In theory, I m very much pro a do-ers mentality.
And “Done is better than perfect” is definitely a slogan I live by.
But at the same time I need to embrace the idea of something. Only after that will I do it and automatically do it my way, right from the start.

I embraced the idea of doing yoga a year before my first class.
And so identified with the year I embraced it, that it took me for over a decade before I realized I had not started doing yoga until a year later.

In 1998, Madonna told the world about the fact that she did Ashtanga yoga, and that was my falling in love with it.
With the idea of yoga.
But before I had found a yoga teacher I liked, and a yoga style I liked (we didn’t have Ashtanga where I lived) it was Fall 1999.

However the year in between had not been wasted.
Because for some of us internalizing something, getting our head around it before we do something, is  The Way.

Which is the road less traveled, and it can take you 48 years before you fully understand the consequences of it!
That just doing something is pointless.
And just starting a waste of time. 

Some of us need to BE with the IDEA, before we can do.

For the 2019 concert of Bon Jovi I had been preparing for months. I knew the setlists and had written out the lyrics to the songs in an effort to remember them better.
I had checked out the location.
Planned ahead what I would be needing, and dug deep to find out what my rights were with regard to what I was legally allowed to bring in terms of water etc.

And as a result I had the best concert ever, and all the other concerts I went to, are rather pale compared to this one.

In this series, I will share the principles of Rock Star Yoga.
But they can never outdo or overwrite the number one principle which is The Idea.

More than conveying my ideas of what Rock Star Yoga is, I want this message to be;
You may be one of those people, who need to create in your head first.
Who need to understand, first.
Chew on it.
Digest it.

Develop it.
Until you can see it with great clarity!

Perfect 20/20 vision.
All that before you do anything.

That is the only way things will ever work for you.

And the only way to rock them.

Rock Star Writer

new: Rock Star Yoga Course

Welcome to Rock Star Yoga & 2020 Vision
is the first post in my
Rock Star Yoga Course

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Miss Fourth of July | series: The Box Set

In 2004 Bon Jovi created a 4-cd (1 dvd) box set with unreleased work,
100.000.000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong”.
In this series I discuss all of the 50 songs.

I m still early in this series, yet this post may end up being my favorite one.

video: At 29:20  Jon says all there is to say about this song.
Or at least: All that he’s ready to share!

There will be times in this Box Set series, where I supply you with a fascinating origin story of the song, hail it for its profound meaning, or conduct science experiments how few sentences it took before Jon had us crying like babies;

And then there will be times when I will diligently write out, an entire speech or full verse or chorus, because I think it should be swallowed whole and that we should not be picking it apart in an effort to understand it.

Or the third option, which is my personal favorite;
I write about why the song is about sex.

And then!
Then there is apparently the one in a 100.000.000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong– chance that I just might be able to deliver all three of them! 

Because after hearing Jon’s elaborate explanation on how bad he was doing when he wrote “Miss Fourth of July” and how deep his crisis, and I then read along three verses, three repetitions of the chorus, and the outro I thought:
“This is about sex and you tried to slip it by us.”

So either, you can read along and overthink it with me.
New rare video footage to support my vision will be delivered!

OR you can just take Jon’s word for it and keep it at that, and look for a video on YouTube called:
Bon Jovi | Live at Borgata Casino | Atlantic City 2004
by hAnD90 uploaded in January 2019
And start at 29 minutes 20 seconds.

This was the introduction from Jon Bon Jovi to Miss Fourth of July on the Borgota concert: 

Jon introduces Miss Fourth of July, as follows:
“This is a little something I wrote back in ’91 and a period I now refer to as the grey period. It was cloudy for about two years of my life.
It was a very interesting time because we were trying to figure out who the hell we were, as people.
The twenties were now behind me, the thirties were just coming on strong. Innocence seemed to have all be gone. But fortunately for us we got over that hump
But this is written during that period that if we didn’t get over this hump at that time we would have in fact been another one of those casualties that you hear about on “Where are the now?”.
So if you can just imagine I am in this little teeny eight by eight bedroom in Malibu California, probably either drunk or hung over, with a rented piano, and I happen to like the song more now because it doesn’t hurt as bad.
Check out the lyric, it is called The Fourth of July.”

Now, if at this point, you’re shaking your head at me.
“How can you possibly see this song as being about sex?”
Then I m going to cut you short because I too didn’t see it as being about that at this point.

Just like you, I docilely listened to the acoustic song with Jon and Richie on guitar and David Bryan on accordion.
And weeped with them over losing their youth, as the price they paid for growing up touring pretty much back to back from 1985 to 1990.
No wonder they were in crisis.

Yet there was probably already a sign that they would make it because contrary to other, I would almost say contrary to “most”, hardrock bands in the 80s, the Bon Jovi members were not addicted to heroin. 

The band Bon Jovi started in the early 80s, with Jon Bon Jovi delivering enough material for an entire record all by himself, before (after launching the single Runaway) they pulled together a band.

With their self-titled album (1984), their second album 7800 Fahrenheit (1985), their biggie Slippery When Wet (1986), and the absolutely brilliant shockingly good successor to that New Jersey (1988), under their belt and non.stop.touring.
– New Jersey was in fact even often “excused for” not being that good because they didn’t have time to properly innovate their music, while also touring –
that when that final tour finally ended early 1990;
Of course they were beat.
Of course they were stressed out.
Of course there was going to be a massive withdrawal from touring for years on end, that would pull each and everyone of the members into their personal versions of hell.

Of course it was going to be a time of staring into the heart of darkness.

This did not mean that fans from Jon Bon Jovi, would have to miss out.
Early 1990, he joined the cast of Young Guns 2 on location, and started writing for the soundtrack.

The script and emotions it provided for him, gave him not just a sense of direction on what the music should be about;
It also gave him a mask.

He was not Jon Bon Jovi the singer who had probably lost his entire band and himself;
He was writing music to fit the script.
He later said he had put a lot of himself in that album Blaze of Glory, but at the time he hid behind the cowboy hat and leather clothes. 

So there I was (current day me, not 1990 Jon) listening to Miss Fourth of July and reading the lyrics.
And I stumble upon a lyric that makes me think that he did not have real sex, but only watched (a stripper, or a couple, or two women, something along those lines), and yet someone (I think his wife) was upset with him anyway.

This was the lyric, it is in the first verse:
“For a night I just watched and you walked out of here”

I don’t consider myself a knowledgeable Bon Jovi fan.
Just last Sunday I mixed up the intros from It’s My Life and Livin’ On A Prayer.

So I will never even remotely suggest you should take me seriously, as far as facts about the band go. I m not a typing encyclopedia, and often even fail to Google things.
But there is one area I am an expert at:

And with Jon Bon Jovi, this usually means that I have a neck for when he’s talking about cheating. And even when I later find he was doing it “in character”, like in Always which was originally for a movie so it’s not his own story, I can’t imagine that he did not pour from his own experience when he wrote that.
But this is not about Always.
This is about Miss Fourth of July, that we are supposed to take at face value about being about an entirely sexless coming of age, or maybe coming of fame is more accurate, theme of a rock star finally returning home with almost Odysseus like pathos, suddenly realizing he no longer is the man who left, filled with hopes and dreams.

“For a night I just watched and you walked out of here”
This “baby-level” Bon Jovi fan, who cannot tell the difference between It’s my Life and Livin’on a Prayer intros, thinks Jon Bon Jovi tried to stay faithful within limits, yet got in an argument with his wife about it anyway. 

That’s the baseline I got when I started this blogpost. I had honestly not thought any further.
Until I started typing out that entire speech, which was a lot of work, I think I easily spent an hour on it.
And in that hour, the tiny bedroom in Malibu remark started to look very familiar. Even though Jon was referring to a two year period, I was suddenly certain this referred to the mansion he had rented, which he called “Disgraceland” and where he stayed when he recorded the Blaze of Glory record.
It is also the location where my favorite Jon Bon Jovi interview was located:
An MTV interview with Julie Brown, which was supposed to air on Independence Day.

(if you’re currently shouting “But that’s on the fourth of July!”; That is correct!) 

To mark the occasion Julie was dressed in America’s independence colors red and blue.
“Now I see where the white is,” Jon says as he lifts her skirt.

As soon as I saw this interview, which was early 2019, I knew for a fact that we had watched a genuine sexual attraction between Jon and Julie.
That it was both staged, and real.
Julie and Jon were hiding in plane sight.

click the photo to go to the playlist of this interview

The only problem this presents, now that I know that Miss Fourth Of July was written in the backlash of a one-night stand, or encounter, with someone special yet you can’t make it work, was that I no longer understood the sentence:
“For a night I just watched and you walked out of here”
I no longer know what that sentence means.

Yet Jon being messed up after Julie left, does explain many other lyrics. 
“Don’t say we never tried”
“I ain’t too proud to let you see tears fall from these eyes”
“Just look me in the eyes and say it meant nothing at all”
“Nothing but a heavy hit of heartbreak ;
A handful of blues”

And I know who Miss Fourth of July is.

” I used to live, but now I survive”

It took eight words.
Eight words to make us cry.

Rock Star Writer


Miss Fourth of July
is the fifth post in
The Box Set Series

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Playlist box set:

Show. Up. { Prayer Intro } | Live From London Series

I immediately noticed something was missing when I clicked on what looked like a YouTube upload of the dvd Live From London.
At 1 hour and 24 minutes, it was about right, although I remembered the dvd to be 90 minutes.
But hey!
Why would someone sneakily cut six minutes out of a Bon Jovi concert right?

And yet, the moment I watched the intro I knew Jon taking the stage was missing.

That you don’t start a dvd with Jon having magically appeared out of thin air at the mike, in his stone washed New Jersey jacket, black blouse with white stripes, chest hair luscious in a way we would never see again after it was taken off less than a year later for his movie role in The Leading Man;
Wearing his black bandana with white design tied around the head in the wide yet sturdy fold and wrap technique, only he and Axl Rose ever seemed to have mastered;
And the first words of this Magically Appearing Front Man being;
“Tommy used to work on the docks!”

That’s now how it works.
There is a “before”.
There is a leading up to.
There is anticipation.

In the previous chapter I referred to the long audience shots clapping in “We Will Rock You”-style.
And you don’t let the viewer wait, watching a sea of clapping hands, only to then cut to-
He’s already there.

So I knew the 1 hour 24 minute concert version I had found on YouTube was not the real dvd; It had been tampered with.
And I was right.
Both a YouTube clip of “Livin’ On A Prayer” from that concert, which I have included at the top of this post,
as well as the full 90 minute show Live In London which is available on Vimeo, and which I have included at the bottom of this post,
show the full intro of Livin’ On A Prayer.

We see Tico Torres standing behind his drums in a white vest, clapping with the crowd.
And then the camera shot from over the crowd, retreats back into the darkness of the side of the stage, we’re looking into the sun.
We see the silhouette of a tall, rangy man, walking up to the edge of the stage.
Sharp cut to a close shot at eye level:
Ritchie Sambora!

He takes a bow, rising back up, his small round sunglasses mirror the Wembley stadium and the clear blue sky.
Long dark mane, and long black coat adding to a rough cowboy-like look.  
He gives the crowd a battle cry; “Yeah!”
Fist pumping in the air.

There is tangible concentration when the musicians set up the almost monotone, slow moving base sound with Tico Torres using a mark tree, a percussion instrument that consists of a set of hanging metal-like pipes.
Until after a few seconds that moment we have all been waiting for when Richie folds his mouth over the talk box, and gives us the signature sound that will become Livin’ On A Prayer.
Richie’s almost synthesizer like tones join the auspicious baseline that the other instruments have set up.
The sounds from the talk box moves fluently up and down, as if gently caressing us.

Until we here the thin sound of a drumstick to the cymbals:
“Tick tick tick”


“Tick tick tick”

The Livin’ On A Prayer drums take over, a  drum roll if ever there was any!

And a sound that I can only describe in a way that does not do justice to what many consider the best song of the best rock n roll band since the 80s:
– in my defense; English is not my first language! – but here we go:

Oompa oompa oomp!
(repeat endlessly)
(keep it going)
(trust me on this)

And it is there! On the sounds of Oompa oompa oomp! that the man of the hour, the rock legend Jon Bon Jovi takes the stage with a run that goes into an energetic jumping up and down, legs wide, two feet jumping in the air again and again.
A wide grin over-viewing the stadium and just like Richie he has his fist in the air!

He stands with the microphone and in his talking voice, he delivers us the intro that we all know from the thousands and thousands of times we’ve heard this song:
“Once upon a time.
Not so long ago.”

All this (I m now pointing and waving at the past paragraphs describing the epic rock star beginnings of this show ) was not included in the dvd upload I found on YouTube, and with that one of the biggest takeaways from this show was lost;
How to make an entrance.
How to consciously, and conscientiously, show up. 

I once attended a yoga workshop from an internationally acclaimed yoga star slash yoga guru, which I ended up hating and considered a waste of my time and money. And yet the lesson he taught in his first five minutes is one I will never forget:
What is the basis for every relationship?

The answer was: You show up.

It is THAT choice, where you make the first commitment.
Either you give away your power, if you show up for things you don’t want.
Or you use it to show up for the things that you do want.

Show up for your yoga, was what this teacher hinted at.
But it goes for every area of life; Are you showing up for it?
Are you even THERE for the thing or the person or the hobby or the business or the audience or the 80.000 fans, to have a relationship with you?

And then, if you ve got that, if you know and decide that from now on “Hell Yes! I m gonna show the f up for my art, for my family, for my dreams, for my fans, for my LIFE!”
Then this opening sequence of Bon Jovi in Wembley 1995 uplevels that for you.

Make your showing up as deliberate, as epic, as full of intent;
As layered, as exciting, as full of bouncing, pounding energy, as Bon Jovi starting their Wembley show, and you really are living aright.

You’re living with Oompa oompa oomp. 

Repeat endlessly.

Keep it going.

Trust me on this.

Rock Star Writer


Just. Show. Up. { Prayer Intro }
is the second chapter from
Live from London
Take the stage, rock your life and rule the world”
Click on “Live from London” to read all chapters.

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at Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

concert upload on Vimeo (including the moment Jon shows up) 


the Bon Jovi video parties that almost no one knows!

This would be the perfect time to:
-explain why I haven’t written for so long
-why it will rain new articles for this blog and new videos for my channel SOON
-why I still haven’t taken the Bon Jovi 2020 cd out of the foil
Although I would probably not know how to answer that final question myself.
The best explanation might be madness, mayhem, life events,
AND a very satisfactory YouTube playlist of the original 2020 album as it was planned in March (I wrote about that last time), which satisfies me.

I like that original album, and think I m going to savor it a bit more.

But I don’t have time to explain those things because I have 15 minutes to write this post!

On the internets things have been going craaaazy with Bon Jovi events and new things! 
And the Jon Bon Jovi fanclub has reopened its doors, and if you’re a gold member you could have watched the first live Q& A last week.
The 2020 Bon Jovi live concert will stream this Friday, for freeeee, on Facebook, and you can set your reminder for that here.

But the thing I am really excited about is that hAnD90 is pumping out remastered concerts at a rate I personally can’t keep up listening all.
But I admire it in absolute awe! 

And “every” Sunday night (YouTube/ hAnD90 does not announce it until about 8 hours before, so you re never sure it will be this week)
there is a live streaming with chat, which is such a fun gathering.
It is at 8 P.M. Amsterdam time.

If you re a Bon Jovi fan, go take a look on hAnD90 channel.

You can watch older live chats:
– if you pick concerts that were uploaded on Sundays
– look for Live Chat button/ options
On a big screen, my live chat replay shows to the right of the video, so not in the video nor below.
– within Live Chat select Live Chat (not best chat)

And tonight’s video party concert starts in 60 minutes, here is the link:
-> Bon Jovi | 2nd Night at Milton Keynes Bowl | Milton Keynes 2006<-

After the premiere you can use the link to watch it and follow the chat replay.

Rock Star Writer.

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to watch live chat look for Live Chat button/ options
On a big screen, my live chat replay shows to the right of the video, so not in the video nor below.
– within Live Chat select Live Chat (not best chat)

Song by Song – Bon Jovi 2020 Original Pre-Covid Album – a twitter thread –

video: “Beautiful Drug” opens the album Bon Jovi intended to release in March 2020

alternative cover created by Jimmy Flint. Click the photo for the original tweet

After writing a small review on the original album 2020 by Bon Jovi,
as it was supposed to be released in March,
I’m now going to do a song by song review, of that album.

1 song per tweet.
Let’s go!
song 1: Love is a Beautiful Drug

Had the world still made sense in October 2020 the upbeat, catchy “Love is a Beautiful Drug” would still be the opening song.

Including at 2:30 the best “bridge” of the 21st century:

song 2 Unbroken

I never knew what people meant when they tweeted “don’t @ me” after a statement.
Now I do.

The top heavy, dramatic “Unbroken” is EXACTLY RIGHT –
when listened after “Love is a Beautiful Drug”

song 3 Walls

Is this correct?
Was the “This Is House Is Not For Sale”
2018 bonus track “Walls”,
really meant for the March release of 2020?

It sure is a perfect match.
(for the Oct edition it was dropped)

song 4 Luv Can

Evidence @jonbonjovi Has Been Telling The Truth When He Said He Had No Idea Livin’ On A Prayer Was Really That Good

Intense and beautiful Luv Can was accidentally dropped for Oct edition of 2020


song 5 Lower the Flag

Contemplative song about violence throughout America, and just like many of the other songs a strong and surprising “second half”!

And listen to Jon’s voice!
Its maturity has become an asset

song 6 Story Of Love

Whether we think of our children or of our parents;
Or perhaps of the parents we never had,
the love we could not give or never received;

Most of us will need a moderate stack of Kleenex here

song 7 Brothers in Arms

Strong rock song with lots of guitars!

Really like the building of the pressure with:
“It’s a hard rain that’s gonna fall on the city
Still a hard rain that’s gonna fall on the farm”

song 8 Let it Rain

And here we have the rain dripping straight into the next song!
Themes, words and musical choices used in previous songs, are repeated here.

There was a reason we used to have concept albums.

song 9 Shine

In the light of the epic “Luv Can” being dropped for the 2020 (Oct),
the loss of modest ballad “Shine” seems passable.

Except that it isn’t.

We didn’t wait 4 years to have them drop gems like this.

song 10 Blood In The Water

Was it out of character for @BonJovi to end so strong?
Why else was this magnificent song moved?!

Shark and Satan rich symphonic rock that contains an entire multigenerational novel.

The March edition of Bon Jovi’s 2020, contained 10 songs.
Three were dropped and three were added.

The official “2020” (October edition) is now available on vinyl, cd, and all streaming services.

And I heard they got a Christmas surprise for us 😉

Thank you for reading.

Rock Star Writer.

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Blaze of Glory (1990) – a home study twitter thread –

Read this blog below, or check the original Twitter thread HERE
As opposed to on Twitter, I cannot use (all) emojis here, so text will be modified.

Because I will very likely be talking about this record soon, I will listen to it not exactly for the first time; but with a “fresh pair of ears”
1 tweet a song/ 1

song 1 Billy Get Your Guns

Totally falling for the electric guitars kicking in (at 19 seconds)
& the “bridge”or clapping intermezzo at 3 minutes 26 seconds:

song 2 Miracle

We’re cheating going straight for the video, but Hey!
It’s Joey from Friends! How can we resist.
And Jon Bon Jovi cut his tanktop open, showing off his chest.
* heart eyes *

song 3 Blaze of Glory
Promise you I will not keep doing this, but this video is ALSO just TOO GOOD to allow for an audio only.
Also: 2nd irresistible guitar riff at 22 seconds.

song 4 Blood Money

Together with Blaze of Glory, Blood Money was the only song of the album frequently played on the Keep the Faith (early 90s) and Cross Road tour (1995) .

song 5 Santa Fe

You can’t say Santa Fe without talking about The Seven Wonders Of The World, and Bon Jovi playing it live for the first time live EVER in 2010!!!

song 6 Justice in the Barrel

Indian chant from actor Lou Diamond Phillips; Enticing, mysterious intro; And Jeff Beck’s guitar HITTING HARD at 2 minutes 5 seconds!!
* heart eyes *

song 7 Never Say Die

Every Bon Jovi fan gets happiness short circuit seeing the words “Never” and “Die” in a Bon Jovi title .
And justifiably so!
What a great song!
Never say die!

song 8 You Really Got Me Now

Blame it on my limited knowledge of music, but this song with Little Richard reminds me of Muddy Waters & The Rolling Stones! 

song 9 Bang A Drum

The country that would have entered this for the Eurovision Song Contest would have won!
We ALL know it in our hearts! 

song 10 Dyin’ Ain’t Much of a Livin’

Don’t go looking for the video for the French market (the only country where this was a single) & enjoy JBJ meets Elton John.

song 11 Guano City

Not a Jon Bon Jovi song, but the perfect exit music for a film, as Radiohead would call it.
And the last track of the Blaze of Glory album. 

Thank you, I enjoyed sharing my thoughts on this underappreciated album from Bon Jovi history with you.

Thank you and goodnight. 

Rock Star Writer


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Bon Jovi 2020 Original Pre-Covid Album & artistic interpretation of it

video: Walls, released April 2018, was dropped from the album and did not make it to the album “2020” as released on October 2

alternative cover created by Jimmy Flint. Click the photo for the original tweet

Last Friday Bon Jovi released their new album 2020.

Although I was not thrilled when the long anticipated album was postponed;
In hindsight I agree with
their decision to push the album 2020 back from March to October.

It gave the album time to ripen and catch up with the times.
New songs, relevant to the Covid crisis and Black Lives Matter, were added
to the album that had already been social conscious.

And yet, my heart made a jump when Jimmy Flint @jimmyflint89 on Twitter, tweeted two photos.
– a homemade album cover of the fictional early 2020 record. 
– two, the original setlist of the March album.

His tweet about his original March album playlist said (using full names of the songs):

Honestly think that dropping Limitless from the tracklist
adding Walls which is a socially conscience song
and restoring the original sequence, 2020 would be a 9/10 album.
Do What You Can and American Reckoning are great bonus tracks but don’t fit on the album for me.

Walls was a track, written by Bon Jovi 2,5 years ago, including a video.

You can create a playlist from the original March album by;
– removing the three tracks written in 2020; Limitless, American Reckoning and Do What You Can
– adding Walls 
– adding Luv Can and Shine, two tracks which are currently only released as bonus tracks on the Japan edition of Bon Jovi – 2020.
– adjusting the sequence

Here is my March 2020 edition of the album on YouTube

I hope Bon Jovi will release this pre-Covid album as well, for example for Christmas.
And to not make it a limited edition, but to keep it on sale forever.
And for good reason.

Because shoulder to shoulder so to speak, the pre-Covid version of the 2020 album, and the October 2020 version, tell the story of 2020 even more powerfully.
How we all had plans, and thought that we knew what we were in for, and then Covid happened and the world changed.

With two albums, both called 2020, it becomes a “diptych”.
A term derived from art.

from Wikipedia:
“As an art term a diptych is an artwork consisting of two pieces or panels,
that together create a singular art piece these can be attached together or presented adjoining each other. “

The original 2020 album and the one released last Friday, can both be listened to separately.
Just like the two panels of a painting can be appreciated individually.

But they reveal their true meaning, when experienced together. Back to back. Side by side.

Bon Jovi 2020 – March 2020
Bon Jovi 2020 – October 2020

In a year that was so brutally cut in two, the union of these two albums represents the wholeness and the healing we have all been looking for.

Rock Star Writer

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