Let’s Make It Baby | new series: The Box Set

“Jon Bon Jovi’s growling, grunting voice is so incredibly sexy
it will have Jim Morrison cheering from the heavens”
 
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Today I started listening (doing yoga) to my long awaited Bon Jovi box set:
100.000.000 Bon Jovi Fans Can’t Be Wrong
A collection of songs, most dated to the nineties, which resulted in a 5 disc set:
4 audio, and 1 dvd with background material..

There’s also a Japanese version, which has a fifth audio cd, with amazing songs on it.
Among which
“Let’s Make It Baby”
That could easily count as the most sexy Bon Jovi song ever written.
Fortunately “Let’s Make It Baby” was not just released on the rare 5th disc of a Japanese Box Set, but also (in two versions) on the Deluxe edition of New Jersey album and on a European Special Edition bonus disc of These Days.
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I m not really sure which one it is (the New Jersey version or the These Days version) but I think that the person who created this seductive Jon Bon Jovi collage, thought that was beyond the point.
And it probably was.

Video: 

Don’t forget to put on your audio, because Let’s Make It Baby is an incredibly strong Bon Jovi song!

And Jon Bon Jovi’s growling, grunting voice is so sexy it will have Jim Morrison cheering from the heavens.
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“We’ll get the sheets all wet.
Baby, make you feel naughty.
Turn down the lights
I m going down slowly.”
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Or as one comment said:
“I ain’t a smoker, but I need a cigarette after listening to this here song! DAMN!”
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In theory writing an entire paragraph about a cd you re not going to cover is a bit long,
but I hope you agree there’s no such thing as talking too much about Let’s Make It Baby.
The song ranked #1 at a previous post here on this blog:
5 Unexpectedly sexual Bon Jovi songs. And how they saved me from the Dark Side
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By the way, the song The End, is also on this mysterious 5th disc.
That song was not included on other sets, but famous YouTube channel hAnD90 did use it for a video, so we do have a beautiful video of (promise to shut about it after this) a song we’re not going to do:
Bon Jovi – The End (by hAnD90)
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The footage hAnD90 used is from the dvd Live From London, a project that I started last week, on this blog.
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So this Box Set series is going to be a series about the 4 remaining audio discs, and whatever it is that brings up.
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Today I listened to the first cd, and the first song is called.
“Why aren’t you dead?”
A surprisingly upbeat song, for such a grim title.
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But I ll tell you the rest tomorrow.
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~Suzanne
Rock Star Writer
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new: BOX SET SERIES

Let’s Make It Baby
is the introduction to
The Box Set Series

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Playlist box set:

Get Ready To Rock! { We Will Rock You }


Click the video to see the first minute(s) of the show.

The first music from the Bon Jovi concert at Wembley, 25 June 1995, was not Bon Jovi.

It was the beat of what is probably the intros of intros:
We Will Rock You.
By Queen.

For the third night in a row 85.000 people of a sold out Wembley, start stamping their feet, clapping their hands, roaring their voice.
The camera zooms over the audience that is already more than ready to rock and roll!

And I have no idea if this is my perspective but whether it’s 1995 footage or 2019;
If I see a sold out Wembley on screen my first response is something like:

😱
Followed by
😨😵😭
Maybe that’s “just” what a sold out stadium looks like, but on the video you can see that if there were two London mice who wanted to attend, their safety would not have been quaranteed.

To me a sold out Wembley looks like a sold out Wembley plus an extra 20.000 people.

But having said that;
It does work on screen, and I think it works in feeeeeling the vibe as well!
What’s better than stamping your feet, screaming, clapping in anticipation of Bon Jovi?
Doing it in a sweaty crowd, a sold out stadium, and add a few extra tens of thousands of people!

Just like a pilgrimage, you cannot tell this story by just focusing on how it ends.
It’s about the journey.
For a Bon Jovi crowd that journey started long ago, by religiously listening to their music.
Over and over, the same songs like prayers, sung along and felt in the heart and with the very soul.

Like faith, the music was already fully internalized, long before the pilgrimage began.

Then the announcement that the band will come and the decision to go.
First you have to buy the ticket, which is not always easy.
Followed by months of anticipation.
The final days are marked by detailed preparations;
What will you wear? What do you need? What can you bring and what not? 

You travel, could be hours in the car or using public transportation.
The most difficult part is always the last bit;
The final miles are the most likely for a bus to not be there, or for taking a wrong turn if you drive there yourself.
It can easily add an hour to your journey if you miss a cue here.

If you’re early at the stadium, there is more suspense!
Because the gates do not open until 3 P.M. and you never know which gate opens first. Nor is it ever finite if there is or is not a “list” to get in first.
And if so if you want to join the list and be bound by it;
Or take your chances and go rogue.

If you’re an early bird who wants to get first row, the choices you make upon entering, and how they work out, will be nerve wrecking.
There is no way of telling in advance who will “get it” (and at what price! early access packages are hundreds of dollars extra), and who will not get to first row despite being early on the site.
Every row or entrance, has their own risk/ benefit profile.

This uncertainty makes the opening of the gates (outer-gates, and inner-gates and security gates) the most difficult part of the day for people who want to be first row, because you just have to accept you have no control over it.
You can only do your best and hope for the best.

When you’re inside the venue, ever more hours of waiting. 
Listening to the support act.
Until finally;
Whether you are first row and have been on your feet since noon.

Or whether you came in late, immediately leaving after work as soon as you could, but got stuck in traffic and now you actually RAN from the parking in a nearby farmer’s meadow, all the way to the stadium, because you didn’t want to wait for the shuttle and were hellbent to be on time!

You made it.
You ALL made it.

And.
Finally.
You.
Hear.
The.
Beat.

Boom, boom.
Hey!

You clap your hands.

Boom, boom.
Hey!

You stamp your feet.

Boom, boom.
Hey!

You, and everybody around you, as far as the eye can see.

Boom, boom.
Hey!

85.000 people.

Boom, boom.
Hey!

You.
Are.
Ready!

You are ready to rock.

~Suzanne 

new: LIVE FROM LONDON 

Get Ready To Rock! { We Will Rock You }
is the first chapter from
Live from London
Take the stage, rock your life and rule the world”
Click on “Live from London” to read all chapters.

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Reboot/ New videos expected at Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

To me this video really illustrates the power of the song We Will Rock You, sung in a big stadium:

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LIVE FROM LONDON | new series coming soon

I think there comes a time in everyone’s life when something you’ve been postponing for a while, and then some, because you had so many other things to do and you were limiting yourself to for once finish what you already started, before starting something new, when there’s suddenly a sense of urgency and that something needs to get done NOW.
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For this blog the smart thing to do was to update all the posts, remove missing links, provide context for projects that had turned out differently or series I stopped.
And so on.
Not to write a book on all the Rock Star ideas about freedom, sex and purpose, something I have been wanting to do since I started this website a year ago, and successfully kept at bay.
So far anyway.
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But feeling inspired to start something new or desiring something that will take over your life doesn’t have to be related to writing.
It can be anything that you can ignore at the beginning, or rationalize yourself out of for a long long time;
But that is now following you around and has became so annoying that it is less of an effort to hear it out, and acknowledge its presence, than it is to keep hoping it will magically disappear.
For example if you have a deep desire to have a child, you can rationalize yourself out of it for a while but ultimately you will just go for it, despite your circumstances. 
Powerful desires have a way of returning to you, always.
Which is, by the way, also why I m against talking yourself into doing something because the right things will talk YOU into hooking up with them.
Being it or they, or babies; The right things will call you out loud and clear.
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The desire may also be for someone you can’t stop thinking about fondly. The first 6, 12 or 24 months you are hoping the feelings will fade.
But do they? 😉 
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From that perspective I ve got a pretty good deal actually.
It could have been a person I had fallen in love with!
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What is a craving for a trip around the world for one, and a desire for a partner you can’t have for the other, is usually an idea for writing a blog post for me.
Or- which explains why I ve been holding this one at bay for a year – a desire to write an entire book.
The title has changed a bit in the past year, as did this account/ the url of this site. But I think it was because the idea wasn’t complete yet, that I was able to postpone it.
And that I was right, to postpone it.
Ultimately it got better, the pieces came together and now I know the time has come:
“This is it!”
The book I m going to write will be called Live from London, and will be inspired by the 1995 VHS, now DVD, Live in London (sometimes also called Live from London) by Bon Jovi.
The past 12 months I could feel all the knowledge, or the things I wanted to talk about, yet it were all just “things”.
In order to glue them together I would have to come up with some largely fabricated logic.
Like “12 Steps to Rock Your Life” or whatever.
And that is really not my style.
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I ve never stuck to a step by step program in my life.
I ve never done one exercise a coach gave me, I ve never thought about any of the questions at the end of the chapters in Self-Help books;
I never journaled on the things I was “supposed to” journal on.
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So to clean up and polish my first personal development book as some respectable, dry, serious, A to B, join the dots system or model?
Not a good idea.
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But when I started watching the dvd Live From London all the lessons just started popping up in my head.
I have been reaching for my notebook multiple times a day; E
very time a life lesson presented itself, tied to what I had seen on the dvd.
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So that’s what I will be doing;
Write the chapters here on this blog, offering inspiring perspectives and stories I ve been wanting to share for a year, but now I can do so to the backdrop of a fired up Wembley stadium in 1995.
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You can expect the first post before the end of the week.
The subscription button is somewhere on this page, probably on the top right.
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So see you soon!
And rock on!
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~Suzanne 

new: LIVE FROM LONDON 

This new project has got its own page:
Live from London

The book is written online –
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Rock Star Writer on Facebook*
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Reboot/ New videos expected at Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

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In Praise of The Circle: We Weren’t Born To Follow


Highlighting one, two or even three songs from The Circle is torture – because they’re all so good! But I ll put Superman Tonight on top of this post. And Bullet at the bottom. Full album The Circle here.

Dear Jon,
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Did you even listen to The Circle, before recording your video?
Now hold on – this posts ends super happy. And there’s sex in here. Well kind of, all I could muster anyways.
But did you even listen to the beautiful and dare I say brilliant and MUCH NEEDED positive and uplifting lyrics of this 2009 album?
Or did you just browse through the song titles, and assumed you were done with your “own” (I will get back to this possessive adjective) work and didn’t need to listen to it?
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I think every creator, every artist who has ever walked the face of this earth understands where you were, in which place, if you really felt like that, Jon.
A dark place.
Which is why I think that if anyone got it into their heads to berate you for not fully backing yourself – the way you usually do – they cannot be creators themselves.
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They do not understand the burden of being a creative, and the process in itself being somewhere between the euphoria of the best night with a stranger (see! I m working with you here, trying to spice things up!) you ever had;

And a roller coaster ride on a track that is about to be demolished because it is past its due date;
Perhaps a bit too dangerous.
A tad too thrilling for your liking.
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But you survived and your feet are planted firmly on the ground, you can shake it off.
And whether the adventure was the night with the blonde (can we make her blonde? We make her Michelle Pfeiffer) or the roller coaster ride;
You can turn it into a good story to tell your friends.
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However, what would happen if you’d be eye to eye with Michelle, surrounded by other green room invitees who knew that back then the two of you….?
Or if you had to vouch for your time together, in front of a camera?
Stammer and feeling uncomfortable I reckon, nah?
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What would happen if your friends would surprise you that the roller coaster had not been taken down, and the new owner of the land will allow you to go in one more time, before it is demolished?
That you can relive your adventure from 2009, which you apparently appreciated so much, because you keep telling people about it?
Not an appealing thought to go back in.
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I m currently listening to the Circle, on my headphones. It’s about the 9th time since you posted your video to Instagram. I m a Twitter user myself – but you being active on Instagram is still the only appeal the medium has ever got to me.
The only alluring aspect of it is you being there.
But I m holding the line so far.
You predominantly on Insta, me on Twitter. But listening to The Circle adds to the wish to see more of you on my social media: What a brilliant album. Just like the previous 8 times I listened to it these past few days;
Not only can I not find anything wrong with it, with zero songs I want to skip, but it’s filled with magnificent songs!
And so many guitars, it’s so rock!
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I genuinely love this album, Jon. And if nothing else your video has established that me and who knows how many other fans are giving The Circle the relistening it deserves. And I m betting they’re coming to the same conclusion:
The Circle is a strong, rounded album.
Period!
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But, there is a way more important reason than the high quality of this album why your video was “off”. 
Because you don’t get to be the critic of your own work, Jon.
You may be the one receiving the idea, you may be writing, singing, producing, or even get to be the promoter of your own work, if you’re hellbent to do so.
But the critic?
No.
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 I personally believe nobody should be criticizing anybody:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.”
A quote from Roosevelt.
But if you disagree, if you believe criticism does have a place in this world, it is still not the creator of the work who gets to criticize his own work.
And the reason is very simple:
Because it is the work of God.
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More than the people who do not create, or have the unholy profession of being a critic, or the ones who focus on joining the dots type of growth, or have the extremely valuable yet not that spectacular task of cleaning, nurturing, care taking;
The artist is none of those things.

He is usually not even particularly good at them either.
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Maybe the fact that you are good serving your community in a more direct manner, has made you more judgmental to your art.

Maybe that’s why it hurts (or you think it hurts) seeing your work again.
But I m here to say on repeat:
You are not a critic, let alone you’d be the critic of your own work.
You are a builder and a care taker; And as such of tremendous value to your family and the community at large, but you are first and foremost something else:
An artist.
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And the creative process is a different one. Different to placing one brick on top of another. Different to mapping out, planning, even (technically) different to having a vision of where you want to go with your art.
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Builder Jon built the Bon Jovi empire.
But artist Jon?
Oh….. artist Jon did everything else.

But he did not do it alone.
But to know with whom he was, we have to go back to the meaning of creativity.
Creativity comes from creation. And raise your hand if you know who The Big Creator is? 
Yes, Jon? 
*      * 
That is, of course, the correct answer.
The answer is God.
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An artist creates, and that places him on the same plane as God. Creativity is by design, a divine practice. It’s the reason why it feels so much better to be creating something, than to just try to find meaning in the ways of The Lord.
Once you start joining the process of creation, things acquire meaning and fall into place.
Because you’re no longer here, you’re “there”.
You can feel The Power of the big creator flowing through you, and in conjunction you create a song, a 3 hour rock show, or an extremely good album.
And then the sun comes up.
The cart comes to a halt.
The woman smiles at you, and it’s like a wordless goodbye that makes you sad.
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But it is done.
And it was worth it.
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For a brief period you were not just relieved from normal life;
You were one with God.
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And it is exactly for this reason why we don’t get to be the critics of our own work. Because it was never our work, Jon.
It was God’s.
He flows through us, like he flows through all creators.
And we’re just the messenger, like all the messengers before us, and all the messengers after.
To criticize what we have created is to criticize God.
That’s why it feels so horrible to do it… and makes us feel so miserable.
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Creation is never something you did for a certain outcome.
It’s not even something you can look back on and say “It took 7 days”, because any limitation, any label is preposterous.
It took as long as it took.
And it was done when it was done.
And the only reason to do it, is because the idea was hovering you, tempting you, whispering sweet promises in your ear at moments when you were supposed to be doing something worldly and extremely useful.
“Come on Jon…. I know you want to.”
“Just a few minutes.”
“I promise I ….. I promise….. I -“
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And one night, one wild ride, one 1500 word blog post or one amazing album later, your feet hit the floor and you’re like:
“I really should not have done that.”
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Oh but you should have, Jon.
It’s why you’re here.
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~Suzanne 

Rock Star Writer 

These blog posts will go out randomly, as topics reveal themselves.
You can find the subscription button on this page, probably somewhere on the right.

Rock Star Writer on Facebook*
my personal Twitter account

Reboot/ New videos expected at Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

* sadly enough all referrals/ links to the Rock Star “Yoga” page on Facebook (url), have become invalid. I intend to start curating this blog, and update the links.

Full album The Circle here.

The Transitionional Set List

A couple of days ago YouTube channel hAnD90 released a 1986 remastered Bon Jovi concert audio.
Bon Jovi | Live at Nippon Budokan | Tokyo 1986
It was filmed the day Slippery When Wet was released, which was the band’s 3rd album.
So the set list was a mixture of new songs, which the fans had never heard, and songs from their first two albums, both of which had been toured in Japan.
Despite Bon Jovi not having its big breakthrough until Slippery When Wet (You Give love A Bad Name, Livin’ On A Prayer) the band had always been very popular in Japan.
The songs from those first two albums were well known.

When hAnD90 referred to the set list as “A Transitional One”, in the description box, it stuck to me.
As if it was the label I had been looking for to describe what is happening to me, and why I m so inconsistent in showing up here.
Or even, in knowing what to “play”! 
I m not releasing my bestseller today, that much I know.
But I may have made the biggest leap of my entire adult life in the past 24 hours. 

Without using boring words, which may trigger you to stop reading, the short version is this:
I m going all in on my writing.

Oh, shoot! That was still boring!
Better not tell how I got there.
I think all you need to know is that I won’t rest until my JOB is to work on my own business selling my books.
Not services.
Not my time.
Not working for an employer (although I may do that to support myself).

The only thing I ve ever been good at is writing.
The only thing I have ever wanted, is writing.

And this account Rock Star Writer, will be one of the two biggies.
It is the account I will show up DAILY, either blogging, making a YouTube video, or updating and revising one of our earlier posts.
I will be on Twitter and Facebook every day.

*boring paragraph*

For the past months I have been investigating getting a proper career, so I would have full creative freedom as a writer/ a creative.
But as I was learning how to build funnels, I realized that I m going to have it all.
Full creative freedom.
And make a living from my writing, without having a real business. I never want to see another VAT form again.
I want the 20th century writer status where you work in an vacuum of not having to register with the chamber of commerce.
The idea of “being” a business, like I was the past 20 years, still sets off screaming voices in my head. It’s difficult to understand if you don’t live in the Netherlands, but here we have made the side-hustle into something that will actually cost you hundreds of euros a month, just to do it legit.
It’s a nightmare, and I never want that again.
I will only use existing (sales) platforms, that do not require a business bank account or your business Terms of Service to be uploaded.

*end of boring paragraph*

In one month I went from thinking I wanted a job in marketing, to a job in IT, to a choice for building funnels (a marketing tool) because I ve always had a fascination for them;
Only to realize I don’t want a new career at all.
I want to finally be a writer, after being a yoga teacher for so so very long.
Not only is every career, or hour away from my desk taking me away from my purpose work;
Since my “side-hustle”/my creative work/my purpose, requires me to sit behind my desk; My new career absolutely CANNOT be sitting behind my desk!
And since all careers,
– that I would be even remotely good at, other than yoga teacher-
require sitting behind the desk?
I can’t have a new career.

This was a VERY easy calculation! There is no other conclusion possible.
8 hours work + 2 at home = 10 hours behind my desk daily is horrific.

Damn damn damn, I cannot belief I wasted months and months, thinking I would go get a career.
I m so extremely angry with myself, for wasting so much time.
So angry.

And next to the simple math of seeing I don’t have any ass sitting hours to sell – Nothing outside of writing will ever satisfy me. 
Sure I ll get a job for as long as need be, that pays the bills and keeps me on my feet, literally.
But my place is here. 
Home and on the internets.

And I just remembered that the strongest features of the band Bon Jovi, the thing that shot them to fame ultimately with their third album, were two things:
– knowing what they wanted
– knowing where they belonged

I may not have released my biggie today, but I sure as hell laid the foundation.

~Suzanne 

Update 

In June 2020, I renamed this site from Rock Star Yoga to Rock Star Writer.
I ll update all blogposts (there are 46) and will get my fingers into the YouTube channel soon, including retrieving content I had to take down in January because of technicalities.

New videos expected too, at Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

About this blog

These blog posts will go out randomly, as topics reveal themselves.
You can find the subscription button on this page, probably somewhere on the right.

Rock Star Writer on Facebook*
my personal Twitter account

* sadly enough all referrals/ links to the Rock Star “Yoga” page on Facebook (url), have become invalid. I intend to start curating this blog, and update the links.

(this is not the concert registration from hAnD90)
This video of perhaps the first time ever performance of You Give Love A Bad Name, was shot the night of the Nippon/Japan concert (1986):

Welcome to wherever you are

Regardless of how the chips may fall, who gets the girl, who saves the day, who is the hero or who the villain – who failed and who succeeded – there is ALWAYS a turning point.
Either in a good, or at least a more satisfactory or finalized way.
Where, as time passes, you see the end result of where it was leading.
Or, which happened the last three weeks in which I did not write for this blog and everything I created for this account on YouTube and the things I did behind the scenes were a mixed bag at best, things only get worse.

It wasn’t until today that I realized me figuring stuff out, was (obviously) not working.
And that if taking time off or trying to correct things, was actually only messing it up more – it was time for a different approach.
To show up in the divine (or diabolical) work of progress this site and this account is, and to just tell that story.
To at least share, in as minimal words as I possibly can, why I lost my vision of what it is I do here.
But why I can’t let go.

So let’s start with what I tried to fix:
One year ago I started “Rock Star Yoga”, a new way of doing yoga, which I was going to talk about on YouTube, do for myself in my own yoga practice, and I started this blog to write about it.
But the most consistent in all of those things, turned out to be my writing.
That is why, about ten days ago if I recall, I renamed this website as well as our Facebook page to Rock Star Writer.
I think Rock Star Writer is the best way to describe what I do here:
I write.
And I like rock.
And even though I also occasionally do rock star yoga, and I have a lot to say about rock star inspired mindset principles (f.e. Show up “wherever you are”, and as you are, would be our mindset or life coaching theme for today);
I ve felt uncomfortable having the service based ring to “it” (yoga), almost from the start.
Even though I was not selling Rock Star Yoga, wasn’t teaching it in person, and I didn’t (and don’t) have a book out. Even though there’s no community, tribe, following to create with this blog either (these are all marketing terms) because I m such a loner.
Today I turned down a super discounted trial offer for a group program, which also gave you a self-study library that made my mouth water, which you could keep for life.
But the thought of only joining to get my hands on the library but then being in a group and having to resign from that within a month – it was just daunting.
I only do self-study, and every time I ve joined a live training I ve felt drained and weird.
This is a big confession but I’m just not the type of mentor, nor client, to have or be in a community.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t have things to teach. Which in my case are stories that often begin with something Bon Jovi or with the philosophy that I called Rock Star Yoga.
I do think having Bon Jovi or the Rock Star mentality as a starting point is unique. I would have “learned” my life’s lessons a lot easier if it had been spiced up with, or wrapped up in, some solid Bon Jovi!
Storytelling is my healing craft, using Bon Jovi my specialty,  but if I would call it storytelling the “service provider” alarm would go off again.
Just like with yoga.

The service provider alarm and the group alarm; they go off a lot.
A lot!
If Covid measures had been set so tight as my service provider alarm, the Corona virus would not even have made it into this month, July.
And if the measures had been sanctioned with the same vigilance by which I am punished after being in a group (I m on day 5 of an anxiety attack, recovering from a group setting thingy I had at the end of last week)  – no one would have gotten it into their head to not obey they rules. 

I am almost programmed negatively, to be part of this world.
Every step forward, is punishable by 5 days of anxiety and an existential crisis.
Which is why – during my three week absence here – I am ending my company/ freelance after 20 years. 

So that impossibility of choosing a good name for this site, or what it is I do – without setting off my alarms – is just something I will have to live with.
I m happy I ditched the word yoga, because that definitely felt wrong. But to now have a header that just says “writer”, and not refer in any way that if you read my stories it will very likely make you feel better?
That you’ll be like: “Hey! If Suzanne f’s it up, yet she still shows up anyway, so can I!”
Rock Star “Writer” will never cover that.
There will always be people who expect I write about rock music, or will only ever write about Bon Jovi.
That was the price for cleaning up the website address and the name of the Facebook group.
It will never be perfect.
But I ve made my peace with that.
From now on, writing on this site, will continue “as planned”! Quotation marks meaning:  The writing was never planned.
Stories presented themselves as we went along, and that is the way they will keep being written.

In its own imperfect way, I have found my peace with the name and this blog never being perfect.
Which might explain why I was ready to write this tonight.
And why the other, second part of what it is I do, or did, is nowhere near feeling complete or right.
My YouTube.

Last Monday I recorded a video for it, and the short and very shameful version of it is: I tried to end it. 
It really was a “Hey! I did this 1995 Bon Jovi concert series here, and tried to transform it into a more open topic channel, and it’s not working so Bye!” – video
It was 25 minutes long, and it was actually very upbeat and happy.
It wasn’t final-final.
“I am known to change my mind” it said.

But the only – the only! –  reason it wasn’t posted, was because despite it being the middle of the day, the video had one of those misty, pale colors veils over it, that I always hope is reserved for night time shooting.
It is not.
It had been 11 AM and I still had a misty veil over my 25 minute goodbye video.
I didn’t want that to be the last video, so it was cancelled.

And within a day, I could feel new ideas were coming up…. Not ending or pausing the channel had been such a good “decision”. Quotation marks meaning here that it was chance or divine intervention, because I had nothing to do with it.

And I can still feel that it’s a good thing that parting video from last Monday, did not get posted.
Even though it did contain a nice update on where I am in life, and all the exciting work related things that are going on.
How post-entrepreneurship, post-service provider, post-limiting label anything, life actually looks like.

Bottom line is that it’s cool! 
Accepting that you have no idea where you’re going, and are clueless of where you are, is an unexpectedly calming realization.

Welcome, to wherever you are.

~Suzanne 

Update 

In June 2020, I renamed this site from Rock Star Yoga to Rock Star Writer.
I ll update all blogposts (there are 46) and will get my fingers into the YouTube channel soon, including retrieving content I had to take down in January because of technicalities.

New videos expected too, at Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

About this blog

These blog posts will go out randomly, as topics reveal themselves.
You can find the subscription button on this page, probably somewhere on the right.

Rock Star Writer on Facebook*
my personal Twitter account

* sadly enough all referrals/ links to the Rock Star “Yoga” page on Facebook (url), have become invalid. I intend to start curating this blog, and update the links.

Shenanigans, fun and my favorite Bon Jovi songs per album – part 1

click for video – Times Square 5 September 2002

One of the things I ve been meaning to do, is give every Bon Jovi album a proper and extensive review.
You know, like serious folks!
Except of course, that will never happen.
So I just started at What About Now (2013) and am working my way back.
In tweets!
I m not going to url-link them all to the original tweet, but if you want to follow this topic
Here’s my profile on Twitter

So here’s Part 1  of this quite enjoyable endeavor;

There were a few more tweets, in the original thread.
But these were the Big Five 😉

*Detail Alert*
In case you want to know exactly how I ll go from here:
Next up album Crush (2000), then all the way back through the 90s, the 80s ending with 1984 Bon Jovi- Bon Jovi

And after that the two most recent albums, Burning Bridges (2015) and This house Is Not For Sale (2016).
*End of Detail Alert*

See you soon!
And rock on!

~Suzanne

Update 

In June 2020, I renamed this site from Rock Star Yoga to Rock Star Writer.
I ll update all blogposts (there are 46) and will get my fingers into the YouTube channel soon, including retrieving content I had to take down in January because of technicalities.

New videos expected too, at Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

About this blog

These blog posts will go out randomly, as topics reveal themselves.
You can find the subscription button on this page, probably somewhere on the right.

Rock Star Writer on Facebook*
my personal Twitter account

* sadly enough all referrals/ links to the Rock Star “Yoga” page on Facebook (url), have become invalid. I intend to start curating this blog, and update the links.

Everything I didn’t learn from reviewing Bon Jovi

One of the most interesting parts for me, when creating the 1995 Bon Jovi concert series on my YouTube, is:
I know I ll learn something from it.
But what?

Just like my Dutch yoga series/ Dutch YouTube, which was supposed to be daily and that fell flat on its face two weeks ago;
It will be okay in the end.
But when?

My online classes, which I taught with so much joy, to friends;
I think I ll pick them up this week, but will I?

I started an entire new series for my pen name which didn’t even make it into a blog. It just stranded. It was supposed to be a 82 day series, that didn’t even make it through the first day.
And I wanted to start doing yoga with Bon Jovi albums again, meanwhile also selecting my favorite songs, reviewing these albums here…
Nothing.

When will I stop being in this cycle of uncreating and self-sabotage?

I went down a slippery slope, ultimately stopping all creative outlets, in the same two weeks I made a BIG decision with regard to work.
And yes- I suppose it was inevitable that going through the decision making process of cancelling the entire side of you that has to do with business, entrepreneurship, with marketing, content management- basically everything you’ve been doing for the past 20 years – will cost some energy.
Of course it will.
But two weeks and counting?

And then there’s some financial things I have to take care of (again, or still) that I also have not done. So after two weeks of doing very little, I also have not done anything useful except for blowing up two decades worth of experience, and (ultimately) today’s decision to start my life from scratch tomorrow.
To pull myself back up on my bootstraps, forget the last two decades, and start again. 

And yet, in those two weeks where there seemed to be forever more ground to be swept from underneath me, I HAVE been consistent with my Bon Jovi series on YouTube.
Until even that became a problem.

And I dropped out on June 6, 1995, their first night in Berlin

It was a short show: 1 hour fifty minutes.
You can find it here below.
And it was this show that could have taught me:

– to perform in less than ideal circumstances
Bon Jovi knew right from the beginning of their June 6, Berlin show, they would only be able to play a short set, before curfew set in and the police would get them off stage.
Jon Bon Jovi mentions it several times in the show.

– to push to make it memorable
It was almost like Jon was back to his “opening for the Scorpions” mode, that is how much he engaged with the crowd and cheered them on.
And Richie practically had to win over his own crowd, doing his solo song Stranger in this Town. And he too succeeded and gave everybody a great time.

– to cut corners
They didn’t play anything from their still to be released album, These Days, and focused on the songs everybody knew.

– to take risks
It was the only night they played “Never Wanna Say Goodbye”, with Steven Van Zandt. It was his song, and he was on stage with them every night in Europe.
But this was the only night they played this song. “Without practicing it” as Jon says.

– to be poetic
“The rain held up for us: I think even the angels wanted to see this show tonight.”

Today was the second rainy day in a row, for The Netherlands.
Maybe that was the reason I m still at rock bottom:
It wasn’t time yet, for the angels to intervene.

~Suzanne

Update 

In June 2020, I renamed this site from Rock Star Yoga to Rock Star Writer.
I ll update all blogposts (there are 46) and will get my fingers into the YouTube channel soon, including retrieving content I had to take down in January because of technicalities.

New videos expected too, at Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

About this blog

These blog posts will go out randomly, as topics reveal themselves.
You can find the subscription button on this page, probably somewhere on the right.

Rock Star Writer on Facebook*
my personal Twitter account

* sadly enough all referrals/ links to the Rock Star “Yoga” page on Facebook (url), have become invalid. I intend to start curating this blog, and update the links.

 The short but powerful show they gave on their first night in Berlin, with all the lessons in it, I didn’t learn.

5 Unexpectedly sexual Bon Jovi songs. And how they saved me from the Dark Side

I was on THE VERGE of writing a part deux to a Dutch post I wrote yesterday.
You see, unlike anything anybody expected to get out of this quarantine situation, our national health service thingy – the one which makes all the recommendations about what to do about the C. crisis – very unexpectedly gave us singles ONE sex buddy each!

It was almost like that joke, where the patient asks his doctor if he can play piano after his fingers were broken.
And the doctor says yes, and he answers:
“Cool! I could never do that before!”

Because we never had sex buddies.
And most singles do not have sex at all, right?
Even most people in relationships and/or married don’t have flourishing sex lives, but at least they have some options and chances- someone to focus their efforts on. And then out of the clear blue sky; Bam!
We get a free gift!
1-0 for Dutch singles!

After two-and-a-half month of quarantine we take the lead, by unexpectedly getting a One sex buddy each – voucher, during lockdown.

When technically, up until that moment, singles didn’t even exist below the belt.
And this goes in particular for the females! 

The only time we are allowed to have sex is when it happens because we feel “safe” and “special”.
READ: If we are somehow tricked into thinking he’ll have a relationship with us, then we might have sex somewhere surrounding a dating situation.
And maybe he’ll come back and make a decent woman out of us, by dating us for a longer period of time.
Or, alternatively, he doesn’t and then we automatically were “wrong” or “too soon”.

Health, exercise and mental health, are all talked about and treated and so on, far more extensively than 50 years ago. But the refusal to see that this goes hand in hand with A – privilege
Of money, time, and freedom.
And B. – sexuality
is still present.
We like talking about health when it means we can tell people off for eating unhealthy and giving them meal plans and exercise schedules.
We do not like talking about women who make their marriages toxic by being obsessed with clogged up arteries and wining about their husbands’ drinking, eating and sitting on their ass watching tv all day, numbing the noise out;
When HE would be wide awake enjoying life if he had kept chasing the ladies and taking care of his body after his wedding day;
And she would be a blushing, fun, woman hitting the gym and all the hot guys half her age, if she had given herself permission to just go for it and enjoy life.

We have very limited ideas about where we want our health and happiness to come from, and sexuality – with its massively disruptive effects and unpredictable behavior because – hey! it really does take two!- sexuality is our least favorite tool.

If a sex doctor could tell us we would add an extra twenty years to our lives if we would give up on the idea of regiment and limitations, and surrender to what our senses bring us?
Say yes to adventure, to uncertainty; Let ourselves be tempted?

We wouldn’t do it.

We would rather die underused and RIGHT; Accepted, boring but reliable;
Than to die having broken all the written and unwritten rules, and add twenty years of fun and adventure to our name.

So, considering how strict married people are to themselves, judging their own extramarital sexuality so harshly, it will come as no surprise that it is not supported in singles either.

Anyway, I feel I m drifting off but just interpret the previous paragraphs of proof of how much time I had already spent studying this, and coming to accept that it was all just so rotten and hopeless, I was not going to see the day we would normalize sex.
Because it makes it relatable as to HOW THRILLED I was with this government organisation, unexpectedly, giving us the green light to go have sex!
Like I said with the piano comparison;
So cool!
Because we never had that before.

24 Hours after that announcement, and after my blog which by the way I did not intend to write (I usually don’t write in Dutch, just about yoga or cartoons).
24 Hours after I wrote about this great news for The Netherlands, and since The Guardian wrote about our sex buddy as well, you could probably say great news for the world as a whole;

They pulled it back.
The government organization.

As a friend of mine would say:
“They pulled back their turd.”

God damn it.
I knew it!

I was so angry.
The blog had been for nothing. The joy had been for nothing. And we were back to the same patriarchal misogynistic residual Christian bullshit society we had been living in for 2000 years.
And although this Saturday was supposed to be spent buying a new vacuum cleaner and preparing for my new Bon Jovi video for tonight
 I SWORE I had to write a part deux for the Dutch blogpost!
And it was going to be FULL-ON!
I was going to destroy everything…

I was going to strike back by letting everyone know what I had already been vowing in silence at the beginning of this crisis, when I had gotten absolutely sick of the compliant, fearful, nature of the Dutch when lockdown measures were taken (suffice to say I understood why it took the Germans less than 48 hours to take this country);
That I was going to rebel for the rest of my life to make up for the miserable, fearful months, in which I was domesticated by law.
I was going to sleep with every married man, I set my eyes on.
As a principle.
Revenge.
The remaining part of my life would serve as a very big fuck you to a society that had behaved like chickenshits, and that had used a virus to force its restrictive unhealthy views on sexuality down everybody’s throat, by allowing only the married couples to have sex.

I could see myself go to sleep with the taste of blood in my mouth every night, of all the marriages I would cut the arteries of.
Just for fun.

I would kill for pleasure.

So, that was the dark, depressed, deplorable mental state I was in, when within 24 hours the government just snatched their gift of the sex buddy back. 
And I could not let this go.
I really thought there was no turning back. I was determined to go over to the Dark Side.

And then something happened.
It seemed insignificant at first. I noticed a new Bon Jovi fan, who was having lively interaction with some of the accounts I follow.
I checked his timeline first. I certainly didn’t need any more negativity since I was carrying enough toxins within me, to poison an entire fanbase.
I didn’t need anybody else’s.
But he checked out.

And I sent him a tweet, and soon the happy replies were mine to receive. I answered but in silence I still thought: “I will stay angry with the world!”
But he won.

And The Most Hateful Post where I declared war on married people, Dutch government, and all those not in favor of sex buddies for everybody, evaporated.
It is gone.
Entirely. 

What were my favorite Bon Jovi songs? he asked.
And my least favorite?
And did I know this song?
And that song?

And tweet by tweet my anger just fully and thoroughly melted away. And I knew that whomever he was, he was obviously here to keep me from spreading hate.
Heal me from being angry.
And ultimately, to have a conversation about which Bon Jovi songs were the sexiest.

And so we did.

So maybe that is the big lesson, the take away here:
You can’t plan these things. Not the good, nor the bad.
You can’t plan on having sex buddies anymore than you can plan on not having them. Love and sex cannot be planned nor approved by government or by anybody else – they just happen when they do.
And usually when you least expect it.

~Suzanne 

Top 5 Sexiest Bon Jovi Songs

And the lyrics that prove it.

5. Diamond Ring (These Days, 1995)

“When you’re hungry, I will fill you up
When you’re thirsty, drink out of my loving cup”

This song probably has the strangest history out of all Bon Jovi songs.
Written for New Jersey (1988) it didn’t make the cut. Neither did it for Keep for Faith (1992).
But it has been performed live from the late 80s onward.
By the time it was released on record, they had been performing Diamond Ring on stage for years.

Letting hundreds of thousands of fans drink out of their loving cup.

4. River of Love (Richie Sambora solo, 1991)

“Take you down real slow
And then your body will quiver
And the river will flow”

When Howard Stern inducted a reunited Bon Jovi to The Rock n Roll Hall of Fame, he made jokes which referred to the sexual appetite of Richie Sambora, and I don’t think any fan has any doubt which one of the two front men possessed the “raw, untamed power”, as Star Wars put it.
Yet, it actually took me until a couple of failed attempts of searching for super sexual songs or lyrics, for a variety of art projects, to realize how non-explicit Bon Jovi songs really were.
There are no sexual words in there, it’s all very coveted.

But having said that, comparing the solo records from Jon and Richie, will give you an indication of which one of the two… well.
You do the math.

3. Amen (what About now,2013)

“Honeysuckle on her lips
Sweeter than a man deserves to taste
Mercy, mercy, what else can I say?”

Much to my surprise, this – in my opinion – extremely intimate song, has been played live all the way up to their most recent tour in 2019.
Hail to Jon.
Amen.

2. I’m Your Man (Burning Bridges,2015)

“When your heart is hungry
When you want a secret you can keep
You know that you can call me
Anytime for anything you need”

This is my personal favorite! 
Not just because this song describes my perfect relationship, but it’s so upbeat and fun! The odd-one-out Burning Bridges album (2015) is worth its weight in gold for many reasons, but just having that album to have I m your Man blowing from your speakers and waking up the neighborhood, would probably already suffice.
As sort of a super important PS on this song!!
This is NOT the Leonard Cohen cover song I’m Your Man, which Bon Jovi has performed several times, and which is also very sexual, but in a more…. scripted way.
It’s used as a little play, between Jon Bon Jovi and his female audience.
You can find a video of that I m Your Man cover version, with crowd interaction, at the bottom of this post.
So if you Google I m Your Man Bon Jovi – live, you will find that cover version.
But the happy, upbeat I’m Your Man as it was released on the Burning Bridges album, has never been performed live.
Making it one of the most underappreciated Bon Jovi tracks ever.

1. Let’s Make It Baby (both versions)

version 1 Let’s Make It Baby- New Jersey Deluxe 1988 (demo)

version 2: released in 1996 on a 2-disc These Days album 

“I want to play doctor.
It keeps getting harder, harder, harder to keep me away
I want to taste the sweat that’s runnin’ off of your body.
Get the sheets all wet, I wanna make you feel naughty”

If “Amen” was a tribute to Leonard’s Cohen, Hallelujah; Let’s Make it Baby, is a haunting trip all the way back to the psychedelic organ-led music of The Doors.
Including Jon Bon Jovi diving so deep into the purest and strongest of desires.
Bon Jovi’s most erotic song, will probably stay unknown forever.
Hidden, on the Dark Side.

~Suzanne

Update 

In June 2020, I renamed this site from Rock Star Yoga to Rock Star Writer.
I ll update all blogposts (there are 46) and will get my fingers into the YouTube channel soon, including retrieving content I had to take down in January because of technicalities.

New videos expected too, at Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

About this blog

These blog posts will go out randomly, as topics reveal themselves.
You can find the subscription button on this page, probably somewhere on the right.

Rock Star Writer on Facebook*
my personal Twitter account

* sadly enough all referrals/ links to the Rock Star “Yoga” page on Facebook (url), have become invalid. I intend to start curating this blog, and update the links.

The gems, the gems…. My friends we ve hit the jackpot

Pop quiz: Which Jon will break your heart into a thousand pieces?

Now I’m not going to lie to you! 
As soon as I came up with this project idea, 2,5 days ago;
Of course I knew this was going to be good.
And beyond, beyond.
But that at the same time, I would not be able to oversee it. That I just had to  have faith, and take it one step at a time.

So what happened?
Well, summer 2019, I started two projects:
One was Rock Star Yoga, later refined to a Bon Jovi series on YouTube and this blog, which was entirely free.
And the other project was under my pen name, where I would travel back in time 25 years, and keep a diary as my 22 year old self.

Both projects immediately felt “right” and “aligned”; 
Yet neither one of them hit the mark, completely.
They did not fly the way I expected they would, but they stayed on the radar. They developed. And then after eight months on May 5th, I – probably inadvertently- connected the wires of the two separate projects and the sparks reached to the ceiling! 

I had hit the jackpot, and I knew it.

The Rock Star Yoga Bon Jovi series on my YouTube was not supposed to cover the entire Bon Jovi body of work, moving from decade to decade.
And it wasn’t even supposed to be about yoga!
It was supposed to be about just Bon Jovi, and just one time.
25 Years ago.

And boy what I found there…. The These Days World Tour 1995 – 1996
It must be one of the best, most extensive, and considering the time probably one of the best documented rock n roll tours in history.

And all praise goes to Bon Jovi for this, of course: 
The only thing that is my idea, is to revisit it, that’s all.
It were their concerts, and it is thanks to them being so generous in sharing their music, that this project takes place.
Try setting up a similar thing for Guns N Roses, and you will find YouTube content being decimated and restricted.
Bon Jovi has betted on being less aggressive in executing their copy rights, and it has paid off. Multiple people/ accounts seem to be working around the clock professionally remastering old material.
Bon Jovi is being curated, decades deep into their past, thanks to the efforts of fans. And I think it is this daring choice to work with the fans and not against them, that is making my work very easy.
If you make a project of revisiting old Bon Jovi concerts, you cannot screw it up even if you wanted to.

And so the project started.
The 1995 Bon Jovi Concert Series.
And although for a while, I considered using the word “stories” for example instead of “series”, I decided against it.
We all have our own way of looking at it.
And emphasizing beforehand that I was in it for the narrative and not to count audience size or to come up with the best set-list analysis;
Oh well, that would be clear soon enough.

click for the “Of course I got this” Always in Seoul, May 10 1995

Right now it’s, like I said, 2,5 days after I came up with the idea, and I ve already shot an introduction for my YouTube, and the first episode, about the concert yesterday, in Jakarta Indonesia.
I m already preparing the next two shows:
Tomorrow will be Singapore, of which no video material is available.
But Sunday will be Seoul, South Korea.
And this concert is largely documented.
There are some cuts, indicating some songs may be missing. It is in this show that I had my first “OMG I Can’t Believe This!”- Moment.

I was totally intrigued and in a way also comforted.
That although 1995 Jon Bon Jovi had really been THAT good, THAT invincible, and that his voice had been in mint condition;
2019 Jon won when it came to heart…

click for the heartbreaking Always in Nijmegen June 13, 2019

There is a recording of Jon singing Always in 2019, a time when the song was even more rarely performed than in the nineties, because now more than ever, he needed to save his voice.
But this recording was so much more intense and emotional, than the 1995 had been..
Whatever he had lost in range, he had gained in his ability to build up the tension and savor the moment.
The talent to bring you into his space and be with you;
And to then reach for your heart, and leave you crying your eyes out.

Comparing the two videos, Seoul 1995 and Nijmegen 2019, shows us not the value of youth.
But power of maturity.

~Suzanne 

The Bon Jovi concert series, was not finished but it was not cancelled either! 
It’s just that making 1 video, analyzing shows that were 2,5 hours long, took me at least 6 hours and it just became undoable.
So it stranded temporarily.
Bon Jovi related (1996 or earlier) stories are expected and will be posted Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

Update 

In June 2020, I renamed this site from Rock Star Yoga to Rock Star Writer.
I ll update all blogposts (there are 46) and will get my fingers into the YouTube channel soon, including retrieving content I had to take down in January because of technicalities.

New videos expected too, at Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

About this blog

These blog posts will go out randomly, as topics reveal themselves.
You can find the subscription button on this page, probably somewhere on the right.

Rock Star Writer on Facebook*
my personal Twitter account

* sadly enough all referrals/ links to the Rock Star “Yoga” page on Facebook (url), have become invalid. I intend to start curating this blog, and update the links.