Someday I’ll Be Saturday Night | new series: The Box Set

In 2004 Bon Jovi created a 4-cd (1 dvd) box set with unreleased work.
In this series I discuss all of the 50 songs.

video: Just like the previous song on the Box Set, Someday I’ll Be Saturday Night, might have gotten its most phenomenal speech in Osaka, Japan.
Check at the 4 minute marker.

click the photo for a live version (video) of Someday I’ll Be Saturday Night, recorded in Argentina

“I’m feeling like a Monday,
But someday I’ll be Saturday night.”

I have to admit I had never really listened in depth to this song, until I encountered the “I’ll be Saturday night” demo at #4 of disc one of The Box Set.

Someday I ll Be Saturday Night was released on the 1994 “best of” album, Cross Road.
An album I didn’t own, until recently.

I had also heard the song almost every time I listened to a 1995 concert to make a video for my YouTube channel.
And yet;

I didn’t really “get” Someday I’ll Be Saturday Night until I started what I would qualify as “hoarding”, different versions of the song.
Ultimately I decided on limiting it to ten years.

You can find the playlist I created here:
Bon Jovi Someday I ll Be Saturday Night 1994 – 2004

That will also give you my channel, to subscribe for my upcoming 1995-1996 Bon Jovi reviews.

The Box Set’s demo of I’ll Be Saturday Night had been the first version of a song that would be performed live, over and over and over again.
Thematically it was comparable to Livin’ On A Prayer, meaning pushing through adversity and believing in a better future.

But it was way, way more subtle
Which might also explain why I “managed to miss it” as a
n absolute gem, in particular in the live legacy of Bon Jovi. 

At the 3,5 to 4 minute marker of these live songs, Jon Bon Jovi improvises. Sometimes “just” going through all the days of the week, and how hard they are.
But sometimes, like in the above audio I included of Osaka, it was a straight up motivational speech.

It’s so unreal to think that live version in Osaka was recorded twenty years ago, and here I am in 2020.
It’s a Thursday night.
I just taught an online yoga class to friends, which I had not done in a very long time. By accident, I streamed it from one of my public pages.

Now it wasn’t nude yoga or anything, but during the class I had been very conscious of my body, and of what I will just call the “weirdness” of yoga;
Something you usually do not have to deal with, until you start including “puppy pose” in your classes in the park, or into your YouTube videos.

Or until you find out you accidentally streamed a private yoga class on your public page.

Those are the moments when Jon’s words in Osaka, really hit home.

At 4 minutes 33 seconds, in speaking voice:

“I feel like that sometimes.
It’s true.
But when I do, I say;
“Self?”

The beat picks up, Jon’s voice strengthens;

“You gotta just dust yourself off.”

And I say:
“Self;
You gotta put on the gloves, jump in the ring and go in there for one more fight.”

And I say:
“Self, we ain’t gonna back down this time! 
Ain’t nobody is gonna come and throw the towel in this time! 
Ain’t nobody is gonna tell me they’re gonna save my ass this time!

NO!!”

And then the chorus comes in.
And this time the words really hit home, and there is no way you’re gonna ever forget it again!

“HEY! 
MAN!
I’M ALIVE! 

I m taking each day and night at a time.

Yes I’m down
But I know I ll get by.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Man, I m gonna live my life.
I’m gonna pick up all the pieces of what’s left of my pride
I’m feeling like a Monday but -“

Someday I’ll be Saturday night.

~Suzanne
Rock Star Writer
.

new: BOX SET SERIES

Someday I’ll Be Saturday Night
is the fourth post in
The Box Set Series

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Bon Jovi concert reviews 1995-1996 Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

Playlist box set:

#14 Basel, Switzerland June 10 | 1995 Bon Jovi Concert Series (Stories)

click on the photo to go to the video review of Basel, June 10 1995

Excited to be back with the 95-96 Bon Jovi concert series!
On June 11 of this year, the audio of the Basel concert was uploaded to YouTube.
That is the big video above, which is an absolute joy to listen to.
You can find the setlist below.

My video turned out extremely well (time to abandon grainy selfie mode forever!!)
but I did totally forget one thing:
To credit the Jon Bon Jovi poster behind me, which I m sure many of you would love to buy!

I have no idea if the company sells internationally, but they ARE offering through what I think counts as “our Dutch Amazon”.
Here’s the link:
https://www.bol.com/nl/p/poster-pop-art-jon-bon-jovi/9200000059027000/?referrer=socialshare_pdp_www
(I was not able to find an international link)

Basel is the first show after their second night in Berlin.
I didn’t find any promotional shows for June 8 or 9, so I assume they really had a little time to rest.

Basel 1995 is one of the shows where Jon Bon Jovi seems to be aware that time is limited, although it speaks for them that in 1995 2 hours and 20 minutes meant “limited”.
He refers to it twice.
Both at the start, after Wild in the Streets, as well as before the final song, where he also thanks the audience for being so amazing.

The second last song is “Someday I’ll Be Saturday Night”.
I ll soon be writing a meta of that song for my Box Set series on this blog.I already created a Someday I ll be Saturday Night playlist

Originally, I started this review series in real time with the 25th anniversaries of these concerts.
But because I let that go, we are now able to benefit from new uploads that were made for the 25th anniversaries of these shows.

The audio of Basel wasn’t even available at all, until June 11 this year!
This concert was marked in my behind the scenes overview as unavailable/ not reviewable,
If you watch the #13 in this series, you can see that in the description box I indicate Austria (not Switzerland) being the next stop.

So after Basel Switzerland,
our next stop really is: Zeltweg/ Spielberg, Austria, June 11th.
See you there!

~Suzanne

Set List June 10, 1995
Basel, Switzerland

01. Intro
02. Livin’ On A Prayer
03. You Give Love A Bad Name
04. Wild In The Streets
05. Keep The Faith
06. Blood On Blood
07. I Can’t Help Falling In Love (acapella)
08. Always
09. I’d Die For You
10. Blaze Of Glory
11. I Believe
12. Runaway
13. Dry County
14. Lay Your Hands On Me
15. I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead
~ Hippy Hippy Shake
~ Jumpin’ Jack Flash
~ Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone
16. Bad Medicine
~ Shout

Encore 1:
17. Bed Of Roses
18. Hey God

Encore 2:
19. Acoustic Guitar Solo
20. Wanted Dead Or Alive
21. Someday I’ll Be Saturday Night
22. This Ain’t A Love Song

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Taking it Back (and Tokyo Road) & The Radio Saved My Life Tonight | new series: The Box Set

“Japan always seems to be getting the best shows.
As if the deal was sealed, by that enthusiastic response on that very first world tour.”

video: The Radio Saved My Life Tonight, performed in Osaka (Japan!) with a speech at 3 minutes 10 seconds, about how Jon Bon Jovi (then still without band) started his career.

In 2004 Bon Jovi created a 4-cd (1 dvd) box set with unreleased work.
In this series I discuss all of the 50 songs.

Today I’m doing two songs.
Song number 3, Taking It Back.

And the second song on the first disc, a song they played many times on the tour that followed the Box Set release;

THE RADIO SAVED MY LIFE TONIGHT

What is immediately apparent listening to this second song on disc one of The Box Set, is that the song is a finished, polished recording.
It was obviously not dropped until the very final stages of Keep the Faith (1992)

It’s one of Bon Jovi’s lighter songs, less heavy on the guitar and drums, and that always makes it a tough cookie when it comes to winning my love.
This song is no exception.

But nevertheless:
If you were in a position as a band, that you could drop catchy songs like this for your record?

Even I understand the level you were playing at.
The very highest.

TAKING IT BACK

What do you get if you mix AC/DC with Bon Jovi?
Taking It Back
One of the many amazing 90s songs that were released in 2004,
on the box set 100.000.000 Bon Jovi Fans Can’t Be Wrong.

But the song that closest resembles “Taking it back” is one of their own.
On the album 7800 Fahrenheit (1985) there is the song “Tokyo Road”.

Tokyo Road studio version (official)
or

Tokyo Road played live in Japan 1985, including introduction of band

7800 Fahrenheit was the album right before their biggie Slippery When Wet (1986).
It “should have” been the big break for the band and then wasn’t.

And the reason expectations were so high, is related to Tokyo Road.

The first self-titled Bon Jovi album, Bon Jovi-Bon Jovi (1984) had not brought them “world fame” but nevertheless;
It had done exceptionally well.
Not just in sales, but the band had also toured the world.
Just check this site which still contains a list of all the continents and places the then relatively unknown band from New Jersey toured with just one album under their belt;
http://www.bonjovi-archives.com/01_BonJovi/Live.html

Especially in Japan, Bon Jovi had been hugely popular.
They had been kind of shook by the attention, but (of course) also flattered.

Japan 1985

With a debut album like that, expectations for their second album were high.
Ultimately their second album wasn’t the big breakthrough they all had been expecting based upon (among other things) their popularity in Japan.
But Tokyo Road on that second album 7800 Fahrenheit, was a reminder of how far they were on their way.
They had already toured the world!

And seven years later “Take me Baaaack, baaaacck, back; Tokyo Road!”
would echo in the song called “Taking it Back” (1992/ Box Set 2004)
A song about which Jon Bon Jovi said;
“We knew that we had to take control of our own destiny and songs like ‘Taking It Back’ were sung from the point of view of that chip’s back on my shoulder and I’m ready to launch into phase two of the band’s career.”

With regard to the topic (one night stand from Tokyo Road versus the fighter’s mentality of Taking It Back) the two songs Tokyo Road (Take me back) from the Fahrenheit album, and Taking It Back, the unreleased song from 1992, might seem worlds apart.
But they are brothers in arms.

Both were written at a time when Bon Jovi wanted to prove they belonged at the top.
And both songs were ultimately largely forgotten.

And yet: Their presence had been prophetic.

Bon Jovi kept coming back to Japan, every world tour.
And from what I think I see – Japan always seems to be getting the best shows.
As if the deal was sealed, by that enthusiastic response on that very first world tour.

And Bon Jovi did raise the bar with their Keep The Faith album;
They did take back, what was rightfully theirs.

The place at the top.

~Suzanne
Rock Star Writer
.

new: BOX SET SERIES

Taking it Back (and Tokyo Road) & The Radio Saved My Life Tonight
is the third post in
The Box Set Series

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You can find the subscription button on this page, probably somewhere on the right.

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Reboot/ New videos expected at Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

Playlist box set:

Why Aren’t You Dead? | new series: The Box Set

“If you don’t have Bon Jovi there with you in the room, and want to build a party?
My suggestion is you just bring out the big guns and press play on;
“Why Aren’t You Dead” 

video: The only Bon Jovi concert that included songs from the box set. “Why Aren’t You Dead” opens the show.

In 2004 Bon Jovi created a 4-cd (1 dvd) box set with unreleased work.
In this series I discuss all of the 50 songs.
“Why Aren’t You Dead” is the first track, and it opens the concert they gave with a selection of the songs:

Jump on the table and sing along!

Jon Bon Jovi says about “Why Aren’t You Dead” which had originally been written for Keep the Faith:
“It (the song) wasn’t where we were going, it was more about where we had been, and for that reason alone it didn’t make the record.

We had grown out of this stage of writing those kind of fun clichés and moved on.”
Makes sense! 
And an upbeat song that makes you want to dance on the tables, and that contains the words “six feet under” “dead” “bed”?
We DO know that Bon Jovi song!
And we know it VERY well because it is one of the highlights of a Bon Jovi show TO THIS VERY DAY!
That song is “Sleep when I’m Dead”.
.
But do you know the catch?
Sleep when I’m Dead is from that very same album, Keep the Faith!
It was written around the same time as Why Aren’t You Dead.
.
Two similar songs;
One, Sleep When I’m Dead, which made it to the Keep the Faith record, became a single, a huge hit, and ultimately got played at nearly every show for decades to come.
One, Why Aren’t You Dead, which didn’t make it to the record until the box set came out in 2004, and which got played once.
In Atlantic City 2004.
What was the difference?
.
I think to this day the choice remains arbitrary;
On one hand, yes Jon is right.
Why Aren’t You Dead is a straight up rock song, and they had been rocking for years.

Sleep When I m Dead is more bluesy I think. I feel my knowledge of music falls short to accurately name it, but I can see why – from an originality perspective, Sleep When I’m Dead got in and Why Aren’t You Dead didn’t.
.
But do you know what strikes me, if I listen to the single (non-live) version of Sleep When I m Dead, versus the single/song Why Aren’t You Dead?
Why Aren’t You Dead ROCKS.
It moves.
It breathes.
It’s ALIVE!
.
Whereas Sleep When I’m Dead?
I’m not feeling it Jon.
It becomes clear to me, that it is the band Bon Jovi that MAKES Sleep When I’m Dead come alive, on stage.
They’re the ones breathing life into it, at that very moment!
And they do it well.
Very well.
.
When played live the twin song to Why Aren’t You Dead, which is Sleep When I m Dead, comes alive!
It might be the strongest live song they have ever written…

I don’t know a song that would be more of a party anthem, than Sleep When I’m Dead, performed live. Richie dials up on the guitars, Tico beats the shit out of them drums and Jon Bon Jovi just pushes and pushes and pushes until we are dancing on the bar, covered in beer and loving it!

Just see for yourself, in this magnificent  Sleep When I’m Dead, LIVE video!

But if you don’t have Bon Jovi there with you in the room, and want to build a party?
My suggestion is you just bring out the big guns and press play on;
“Why Aren’t You Dead”
.
~Suzanne
Rock Star Writer
.

new: BOX SET SERIES

Why Aren’t You Dead?
is the second in
The Box Set Series

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You can find the subscription button on this page, probably somewhere on the right.

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Reboot/ New videos expected at Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

Playlist box set:

Let’s Make It Baby | new series: The Box Set

“Jon Bon Jovi’s growling, grunting voice is so incredibly sexy
it will have Jim Morrison cheering from the heavens”
 
.
Today I started listening (doing yoga) to my long awaited Bon Jovi box set:
100.000.000 Bon Jovi Fans Can’t Be Wrong
A collection of songs, most dated to the nineties, which resulted in a 5 disc set:
4 audio, and 1 dvd with background material..

There’s also a Japanese version, which has a fifth audio cd, with amazing songs on it.
Among which
“Let’s Make It Baby”
That could easily count as the most sexy Bon Jovi song ever written.
Fortunately “Let’s Make It Baby” was not just released on the rare 5th disc of a Japanese Box Set, but also (in two versions) on the Deluxe edition of New Jersey album and on a European Special Edition bonus disc of These Days.
.
I m not really sure which one it is (the New Jersey version or the These Days version) but I think that the person who created this seductive Jon Bon Jovi collage, thought that was beyond the point.
And it probably was.

Video: 

Don’t forget to put on your audio, because Let’s Make It Baby is an incredibly strong Bon Jovi song!

And Jon Bon Jovi’s growling, grunting voice is so sexy it will have Jim Morrison cheering from the heavens.
.
“We’ll get the sheets all wet.
Baby, make you feel naughty.
Turn down the lights
I m going down slowly.”
.
Or as one comment said:
“I ain’t a smoker, but I need a cigarette after listening to this here song! DAMN!”
.
In theory writing an entire paragraph about a cd you re not going to cover is a bit long,
but I hope you agree there’s no such thing as talking too much about Let’s Make It Baby.
The song ranked #1 at a previous post here on this blog:
5 Unexpectedly sexual Bon Jovi songs. And how they saved me from the Dark Side
.
By the way, the song The End, is also on this mysterious 5th disc.
That song was not included on other sets, but famous YouTube channel hAnD90 did use it for a video, so we do have a beautiful video of (promise to shut about it after this) a song we’re not going to do:
Bon Jovi – The End (by hAnD90)
.
The footage hAnD90 used is from the dvd Live From London, a project that I started last week, on this blog.
.
So this Box Set series is going to be a series about the 4 remaining audio discs, and whatever it is that brings up.
.
Today I listened to the first cd, and the first song is called.
“Why aren’t you dead?”
A surprisingly upbeat song, for such a grim title.
 .
But I ll tell you the rest tomorrow.
.
~Suzanne
Rock Star Writer
.

new: BOX SET SERIES

Let’s Make It Baby
is the introduction to
The Box Set Series

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Reboot/ New videos expected at Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

Playlist box set:

Get Ready To Rock! { We Will Rock You }


Click the video to see the first minute(s) of the show.

The first music from the Bon Jovi concert at Wembley, 25 June 1995, was not Bon Jovi.

It was the beat of what is probably the intros of intros:
We Will Rock You.
By Queen.

For the third night in a row 85.000 people of a sold out Wembley, start stamping their feet, clapping their hands, roaring their voice.
The camera zooms over the audience that is already more than ready to rock and roll!

And I have no idea if this is my perspective but whether it’s 1995 footage or 2019;
If I see a sold out Wembley on screen my first response is something like:

😱
Followed by
😨😵😭
Maybe that’s “just” what a sold out stadium looks like, but on the video you can see that if there were two London mice who wanted to attend, their safety would not have been quaranteed.

To me a sold out Wembley looks like a sold out Wembley plus an extra 20.000 people.

But having said that;
It does work on screen, and I think it works in feeeeeling the vibe as well!
What’s better than stamping your feet, screaming, clapping in anticipation of Bon Jovi?
Doing it in a sweaty crowd, a sold out stadium, and add a few extra tens of thousands of people!

Just like a pilgrimage, you cannot tell this story by just focusing on how it ends.
It’s about the journey.
For a Bon Jovi crowd that journey started long ago, by religiously listening to their music.
Over and over, the same songs like prayers, sung along and felt in the heart and with the very soul.

Like faith, the music was already fully internalized, long before the pilgrimage began.

Then the announcement that the band will come and the decision to go.
First you have to buy the ticket, which is not always easy.
Followed by months of anticipation.
The final days are marked by detailed preparations;
What will you wear? What do you need? What can you bring and what not? 

You travel, could be hours in the car or using public transportation.
The most difficult part is always the last bit;
The final miles are the most likely for a bus to not be there, or for taking a wrong turn if you drive there yourself.
It can easily add an hour to your journey if you miss a cue here.

If you’re early at the stadium, there is more suspense!
Because the gates do not open until 3 P.M. and you never know which gate opens first. Nor is it ever finite if there is or is not a “list” to get in first.
And if so if you want to join the list and be bound by it;
Or take your chances and go rogue.

If you’re an early bird who wants to get first row, the choices you make upon entering, and how they work out, will be nerve wrecking.
There is no way of telling in advance who will “get it” (and at what price! early access packages are hundreds of dollars extra), and who will not get to first row despite being early on the site.
Every row or entrance, has their own risk/ benefit profile.

This uncertainty makes the opening of the gates (outer-gates, and inner-gates and security gates) the most difficult part of the day for people who want to be first row, because you just have to accept you have no control over it.
You can only do your best and hope for the best.

When you’re inside the venue, ever more hours of waiting. 
Listening to the support act.
Until finally;
Whether you are first row and have been on your feet since noon.

Or whether you came in late, immediately leaving after work as soon as you could, but got stuck in traffic and now you actually RAN from the parking in a nearby farmer’s meadow, all the way to the stadium, because you didn’t want to wait for the shuttle and were hellbent to be on time!

You made it.
You ALL made it.

And.
Finally.
You.
Hear.
The.
Beat.

Boom, boom.
Hey!

You clap your hands.

Boom, boom.
Hey!

You stamp your feet.

Boom, boom.
Hey!

You, and everybody around you, as far as the eye can see.

Boom, boom.
Hey!

85.000 people.

Boom, boom.
Hey!

You.
Are.
Ready!

You are ready to rock.

~Suzanne 

new: LIVE FROM LONDON 

Get Ready To Rock! { We Will Rock You }
is the first chapter from
Live from London
Take the stage, rock your life and rule the world”
Click on “Live from London” to read all chapters.

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To me this video really illustrates the power of the song We Will Rock You, sung in a big stadium:

.

LIVE FROM LONDON | new series coming soon

I think there comes a time in everyone’s life when something you’ve been postponing for a while, and then some, because you had so many other things to do and you were limiting yourself to for once finish what you already started, before starting something new, when there’s suddenly a sense of urgency and that something needs to get done NOW.
.
For this blog the smart thing to do was to update all the posts, remove missing links, provide context for projects that had turned out differently or series I stopped.
And so on.
Not to write a book on all the Rock Star ideas about freedom, sex and purpose, something I have been wanting to do since I started this website a year ago, and successfully kept at bay.
So far anyway.
.
But feeling inspired to start something new or desiring something that will take over your life doesn’t have to be related to writing.
It can be anything that you can ignore at the beginning, or rationalize yourself out of for a long long time;
But that is now following you around and has became so annoying that it is less of an effort to hear it out, and acknowledge its presence, than it is to keep hoping it will magically disappear.
For example if you have a deep desire to have a child, you can rationalize yourself out of it for a while but ultimately you will just go for it, despite your circumstances. 
Powerful desires have a way of returning to you, always.
Which is, by the way, also why I m against talking yourself into doing something because the right things will talk YOU into hooking up with them.
Being it or they, or babies; The right things will call you out loud and clear.
.
The desire may also be for someone you can’t stop thinking about fondly. The first 6, 12 or 24 months you are hoping the feelings will fade.
But do they? 😉 
.
From that perspective I ve got a pretty good deal actually.
It could have been a person I had fallen in love with!
.
What is a craving for a trip around the world for one, and a desire for a partner you can’t have for the other, is usually an idea for writing a blog post for me.
Or- which explains why I ve been holding this one at bay for a year – a desire to write an entire book.
The title has changed a bit in the past year, as did this account/ the url of this site. But I think it was because the idea wasn’t complete yet, that I was able to postpone it.
And that I was right, to postpone it.
Ultimately it got better, the pieces came together and now I know the time has come:
“This is it!”
The book I m going to write will be called Live from London, and will be inspired by the 1995 VHS, now DVD, Live in London (sometimes also called Live from London) by Bon Jovi.
The past 12 months I could feel all the knowledge, or the things I wanted to talk about, yet it were all just “things”.
In order to glue them together I would have to come up with some largely fabricated logic.
Like “12 Steps to Rock Your Life” or whatever.
And that is really not my style.
.
I ve never stuck to a step by step program in my life.
I ve never done one exercise a coach gave me, I ve never thought about any of the questions at the end of the chapters in Self-Help books;
I never journaled on the things I was “supposed to” journal on.
.
So to clean up and polish my first personal development book as some respectable, dry, serious, A to B, join the dots system or model?
Not a good idea.
.
But when I started watching the dvd Live From London all the lessons just started popping up in my head.
I have been reaching for my notebook multiple times a day; E
very time a life lesson presented itself, tied to what I had seen on the dvd.
.
So that’s what I will be doing;
Write the chapters here on this blog, offering inspiring perspectives and stories I ve been wanting to share for a year, but now I can do so to the backdrop of a fired up Wembley stadium in 1995.
.
You can expect the first post before the end of the week.
The subscription button is somewhere on this page, probably on the top right.
.
So see you soon!
And rock on!
.

~Suzanne 

new: LIVE FROM LONDON 

This new project has got its own page:
Live from London

The book is written online –
You can find the subscription button on this page, probably somewhere on the right.

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In Praise of The Circle: We Weren’t Born To Follow


Highlighting one, two or even three songs from The Circle is torture – because they’re all so good! But I ll put Superman Tonight on top of this post. And Bullet at the bottom. Full album The Circle here.

Dear Jon,
.
Did you even listen to The Circle, before recording your video?
Now hold on – this posts ends super happy. And there’s sex in here. Well kind of, all I could muster anyways.
But did you even listen to the beautiful and dare I say brilliant and MUCH NEEDED positive and uplifting lyrics of this 2009 album?
Or did you just browse through the song titles, and assumed you were done with your “own” (I will get back to this possessive adjective) work and didn’t need to listen to it?
.
I think every creator, every artist who has ever walked the face of this earth understands where you were, in which place, if you really felt like that, Jon.
A dark place.
Which is why I think that if anyone got it into their heads to berate you for not fully backing yourself – the way you usually do – they cannot be creators themselves.
.
They do not understand the burden of being a creative, and the process in itself being somewhere between the euphoria of the best night with a stranger (see! I m working with you here, trying to spice things up!) you ever had;

And a roller coaster ride on a track that is about to be demolished because it is past its due date;
Perhaps a bit too dangerous.
A tad too thrilling for your liking.
.
But you survived and your feet are planted firmly on the ground, you can shake it off.
And whether the adventure was the night with the blonde (can we make her blonde? We make her Michelle Pfeiffer) or the roller coaster ride;
You can turn it into a good story to tell your friends.
.
However, what would happen if you’d be eye to eye with Michelle, surrounded by other green room invitees who knew that back then the two of you….?
Or if you had to vouch for your time together, in front of a camera?
Stammer and feeling uncomfortable I reckon, nah?
.
What would happen if your friends would surprise you that the roller coaster had not been taken down, and the new owner of the land will allow you to go in one more time, before it is demolished?
That you can relive your adventure from 2009, which you apparently appreciated so much, because you keep telling people about it?
Not an appealing thought to go back in.
.
I m currently listening to the Circle, on my headphones. It’s about the 9th time since you posted your video to Instagram. I m a Twitter user myself – but you being active on Instagram is still the only appeal the medium has ever got to me.
The only alluring aspect of it is you being there.
But I m holding the line so far.
You predominantly on Insta, me on Twitter. But listening to The Circle adds to the wish to see more of you on my social media: What a brilliant album. Just like the previous 8 times I listened to it these past few days;
Not only can I not find anything wrong with it, with zero songs I want to skip, but it’s filled with magnificent songs!
And so many guitars, it’s so rock!
.
I genuinely love this album, Jon. And if nothing else your video has established that me and who knows how many other fans are giving The Circle the relistening it deserves. And I m betting they’re coming to the same conclusion:
The Circle is a strong, rounded album.
Period!
.
But, there is a way more important reason than the high quality of this album why your video was “off”. 
Because you don’t get to be the critic of your own work, Jon.
You may be the one receiving the idea, you may be writing, singing, producing, or even get to be the promoter of your own work, if you’re hellbent to do so.
But the critic?
No.
.
 I personally believe nobody should be criticizing anybody:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.”
A quote from Roosevelt.
But if you disagree, if you believe criticism does have a place in this world, it is still not the creator of the work who gets to criticize his own work.
And the reason is very simple:
Because it is the work of God.
.
More than the people who do not create, or have the unholy profession of being a critic, or the ones who focus on joining the dots type of growth, or have the extremely valuable yet not that spectacular task of cleaning, nurturing, care taking;
The artist is none of those things.

He is usually not even particularly good at them either.
.
Maybe the fact that you are good serving your community in a more direct manner, has made you more judgmental to your art.

Maybe that’s why it hurts (or you think it hurts) seeing your work again.
But I m here to say on repeat:
You are not a critic, let alone you’d be the critic of your own work.
You are a builder and a care taker; And as such of tremendous value to your family and the community at large, but you are first and foremost something else:
An artist.
.
And the creative process is a different one. Different to placing one brick on top of another. Different to mapping out, planning, even (technically) different to having a vision of where you want to go with your art.
.
Builder Jon built the Bon Jovi empire.
But artist Jon?
Oh….. artist Jon did everything else.

But he did not do it alone.
But to know with whom he was, we have to go back to the meaning of creativity.
Creativity comes from creation. And raise your hand if you know who The Big Creator is? 
Yes, Jon? 
*      * 
That is, of course, the correct answer.
The answer is God.
.
An artist creates, and that places him on the same plane as God. Creativity is by design, a divine practice. It’s the reason why it feels so much better to be creating something, than to just try to find meaning in the ways of The Lord.
Once you start joining the process of creation, things acquire meaning and fall into place.
Because you’re no longer here, you’re “there”.
You can feel The Power of the big creator flowing through you, and in conjunction you create a song, a 3 hour rock show, or an extremely good album.
And then the sun comes up.
The cart comes to a halt.
The woman smiles at you, and it’s like a wordless goodbye that makes you sad.
.
But it is done.
And it was worth it.
.
For a brief period you were not just relieved from normal life;
You were one with God.
.
And it is exactly for this reason why we don’t get to be the critics of our own work. Because it was never our work, Jon.
It was God’s.
He flows through us, like he flows through all creators.
And we’re just the messenger, like all the messengers before us, and all the messengers after.
To criticize what we have created is to criticize God.
That’s why it feels so horrible to do it… and makes us feel so miserable.
.
Creation is never something you did for a certain outcome.
It’s not even something you can look back on and say “It took 7 days”, because any limitation, any label is preposterous.
It took as long as it took.
And it was done when it was done.
And the only reason to do it, is because the idea was hovering you, tempting you, whispering sweet promises in your ear at moments when you were supposed to be doing something worldly and extremely useful.
“Come on Jon…. I know you want to.”
“Just a few minutes.”
“I promise I ….. I promise….. I -“
.
And one night, one wild ride, one 1500 word blog post or one amazing album later, your feet hit the floor and you’re like:
“I really should not have done that.”
.
Oh but you should have, Jon.
It’s why you’re here.
.

~Suzanne 

Rock Star Writer 

These blog posts will go out randomly, as topics reveal themselves.
You can find the subscription button on this page, probably somewhere on the right.

Rock Star Writer on Facebook*
my personal Twitter account

Reboot/ New videos expected at Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

* sadly enough all referrals/ links to the Rock Star “Yoga” page on Facebook (url), have become invalid. I intend to start curating this blog, and update the links.

Full album The Circle here.

The Transitionional Set List

A couple of days ago YouTube channel hAnD90 released a 1986 remastered Bon Jovi concert audio.
Bon Jovi | Live at Nippon Budokan | Tokyo 1986
It was filmed the day Slippery When Wet was released, which was the band’s 3rd album.
So the set list was a mixture of new songs, which the fans had never heard, and songs from their first two albums, both of which had been toured in Japan.
Despite Bon Jovi not having its big breakthrough until Slippery When Wet (You Give love A Bad Name, Livin’ On A Prayer) the band had always been very popular in Japan.
The songs from those first two albums were well known.

When hAnD90 referred to the set list as “A Transitional One”, in the description box, it stuck to me.
As if it was the label I had been looking for to describe what is happening to me, and why I m so inconsistent in showing up here.
Or even, in knowing what to “play”! 
I m not releasing my bestseller today, that much I know.
But I may have made the biggest leap of my entire adult life in the past 24 hours. 

Without using boring words, which may trigger you to stop reading, the short version is this:
I m going all in on my writing.

Oh, shoot! That was still boring!
Better not tell how I got there.
I think all you need to know is that I won’t rest until my JOB is to work on my own business selling my books.
Not services.
Not my time.
Not working for an employer (although I may do that to support myself).

The only thing I ve ever been good at is writing.
The only thing I have ever wanted, is writing.

And this account Rock Star Writer, will be one of the two biggies.
It is the account I will show up DAILY, either blogging, making a YouTube video, or updating and revising one of our earlier posts.
I will be on Twitter and Facebook every day.

*boring paragraph*

For the past months I have been investigating getting a proper career, so I would have full creative freedom as a writer/ a creative.
But as I was learning how to build funnels, I realized that I m going to have it all.
Full creative freedom.
And make a living from my writing, without having a real business. I never want to see another VAT form again.
I want the 20th century writer status where you work in an vacuum of not having to register with the chamber of commerce.
The idea of “being” a business, like I was the past 20 years, still sets off screaming voices in my head. It’s difficult to understand if you don’t live in the Netherlands, but here we have made the side-hustle into something that will actually cost you hundreds of euros a month, just to do it legit.
It’s a nightmare, and I never want that again.
I will only use existing (sales) platforms, that do not require a business bank account or your business Terms of Service to be uploaded.

*end of boring paragraph*

In one month I went from thinking I wanted a job in marketing, to a job in IT, to a choice for building funnels (a marketing tool) because I ve always had a fascination for them;
Only to realize I don’t want a new career at all.
I want to finally be a writer, after being a yoga teacher for so so very long.
Not only is every career, or hour away from my desk taking me away from my purpose work;
Since my “side-hustle”/my creative work/my purpose, requires me to sit behind my desk; My new career absolutely CANNOT be sitting behind my desk!
And since all careers,
– that I would be even remotely good at, other than yoga teacher-
require sitting behind the desk?
I can’t have a new career.

This was a VERY easy calculation! There is no other conclusion possible.
8 hours work + 2 at home = 10 hours behind my desk daily is horrific.

Damn damn damn, I cannot belief I wasted months and months, thinking I would go get a career.
I m so extremely angry with myself, for wasting so much time.
So angry.

And next to the simple math of seeing I don’t have any ass sitting hours to sell – Nothing outside of writing will ever satisfy me. 
Sure I ll get a job for as long as need be, that pays the bills and keeps me on my feet, literally.
But my place is here. 
Home and on the internets.

And I just remembered that the strongest features of the band Bon Jovi, the thing that shot them to fame ultimately with their third album, were two things:
– knowing what they wanted
– knowing where they belonged

I may not have released my biggie today, but I sure as hell laid the foundation.

~Suzanne 

Update 

In June 2020, I renamed this site from Rock Star Yoga to Rock Star Writer.
I ll update all blogposts (there are 46) and will get my fingers into the YouTube channel soon, including retrieving content I had to take down in January because of technicalities.

New videos expected too, at Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

About this blog

These blog posts will go out randomly, as topics reveal themselves.
You can find the subscription button on this page, probably somewhere on the right.

Rock Star Writer on Facebook*
my personal Twitter account

* sadly enough all referrals/ links to the Rock Star “Yoga” page on Facebook (url), have become invalid. I intend to start curating this blog, and update the links.

(this is not the concert registration from hAnD90)
This video of perhaps the first time ever performance of You Give Love A Bad Name, was shot the night of the Nippon/Japan concert (1986):

Welcome to wherever you are

Regardless of how the chips may fall, who gets the girl, who saves the day, who is the hero or who the villain – who failed and who succeeded – there is ALWAYS a turning point.
Either in a good, or at least a more satisfactory or finalized way.
Where, as time passes, you see the end result of where it was leading.
Or, which happened the last three weeks in which I did not write for this blog and everything I created for this account on YouTube and the things I did behind the scenes were a mixed bag at best, things only get worse.

It wasn’t until today that I realized me figuring stuff out, was (obviously) not working.
And that if taking time off or trying to correct things, was actually only messing it up more – it was time for a different approach.
To show up in the divine (or diabolical) work of progress this site and this account is, and to just tell that story.
To at least share, in as minimal words as I possibly can, why I lost my vision of what it is I do here.
But why I can’t let go.

So let’s start with what I tried to fix:
One year ago I started “Rock Star Yoga”, a new way of doing yoga, which I was going to talk about on YouTube, do for myself in my own yoga practice, and I started this blog to write about it.
But the most consistent in all of those things, turned out to be my writing.
That is why, about ten days ago if I recall, I renamed this website as well as our Facebook page to Rock Star Writer.
I think Rock Star Writer is the best way to describe what I do here:
I write.
And I like rock.
And even though I also occasionally do rock star yoga, and I have a lot to say about rock star inspired mindset principles (f.e. Show up “wherever you are”, and as you are, would be our mindset or life coaching theme for today);
I ve felt uncomfortable having the service based ring to “it” (yoga), almost from the start.
Even though I was not selling Rock Star Yoga, wasn’t teaching it in person, and I didn’t (and don’t) have a book out. Even though there’s no community, tribe, following to create with this blog either (these are all marketing terms) because I m such a loner.
Today I turned down a super discounted trial offer for a group program, which also gave you a self-study library that made my mouth water, which you could keep for life.
But the thought of only joining to get my hands on the library but then being in a group and having to resign from that within a month – it was just daunting.
I only do self-study, and every time I ve joined a live training I ve felt drained and weird.
This is a big confession but I’m just not the type of mentor, nor client, to have or be in a community.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t have things to teach. Which in my case are stories that often begin with something Bon Jovi or with the philosophy that I called Rock Star Yoga.
I do think having Bon Jovi or the Rock Star mentality as a starting point is unique. I would have “learned” my life’s lessons a lot easier if it had been spiced up with, or wrapped up in, some solid Bon Jovi!
Storytelling is my healing craft, using Bon Jovi my specialty,  but if I would call it storytelling the “service provider” alarm would go off again.
Just like with yoga.

The service provider alarm and the group alarm; they go off a lot.
A lot!
If Covid measures had been set so tight as my service provider alarm, the Corona virus would not even have made it into this month, July.
And if the measures had been sanctioned with the same vigilance by which I am punished after being in a group (I m on day 5 of an anxiety attack, recovering from a group setting thingy I had at the end of last week)  – no one would have gotten it into their head to not obey they rules. 

I am almost programmed negatively, to be part of this world.
Every step forward, is punishable by 5 days of anxiety and an existential crisis.
Which is why – during my three week absence here – I am ending my company/ freelance after 20 years. 

So that impossibility of choosing a good name for this site, or what it is I do – without setting off my alarms – is just something I will have to live with.
I m happy I ditched the word yoga, because that definitely felt wrong. But to now have a header that just says “writer”, and not refer in any way that if you read my stories it will very likely make you feel better?
That you’ll be like: “Hey! If Suzanne f’s it up, yet she still shows up anyway, so can I!”
Rock Star “Writer” will never cover that.
There will always be people who expect I write about rock music, or will only ever write about Bon Jovi.
That was the price for cleaning up the website address and the name of the Facebook group.
It will never be perfect.
But I ve made my peace with that.
From now on, writing on this site, will continue “as planned”! Quotation marks meaning:  The writing was never planned.
Stories presented themselves as we went along, and that is the way they will keep being written.

In its own imperfect way, I have found my peace with the name and this blog never being perfect.
Which might explain why I was ready to write this tonight.
And why the other, second part of what it is I do, or did, is nowhere near feeling complete or right.
My YouTube.

Last Monday I recorded a video for it, and the short and very shameful version of it is: I tried to end it. 
It really was a “Hey! I did this 1995 Bon Jovi concert series here, and tried to transform it into a more open topic channel, and it’s not working so Bye!” – video
It was 25 minutes long, and it was actually very upbeat and happy.
It wasn’t final-final.
“I am known to change my mind” it said.

But the only – the only! –  reason it wasn’t posted, was because despite it being the middle of the day, the video had one of those misty, pale colors veils over it, that I always hope is reserved for night time shooting.
It is not.
It had been 11 AM and I still had a misty veil over my 25 minute goodbye video.
I didn’t want that to be the last video, so it was cancelled.

And within a day, I could feel new ideas were coming up…. Not ending or pausing the channel had been such a good “decision”. Quotation marks meaning here that it was chance or divine intervention, because I had nothing to do with it.

And I can still feel that it’s a good thing that parting video from last Monday, did not get posted.
Even though it did contain a nice update on where I am in life, and all the exciting work related things that are going on.
How post-entrepreneurship, post-service provider, post-limiting label anything, life actually looks like.

Bottom line is that it’s cool! 
Accepting that you have no idea where you’re going, and are clueless of where you are, is an unexpectedly calming realization.

Welcome, to wherever you are.

~Suzanne 

Update 

In June 2020, I renamed this site from Rock Star Yoga to Rock Star Writer.
I ll update all blogposts (there are 46) and will get my fingers into the YouTube channel soon, including retrieving content I had to take down in January because of technicalities.

New videos expected too, at Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

About this blog

These blog posts will go out randomly, as topics reveal themselves.
You can find the subscription button on this page, probably somewhere on the right.

Rock Star Writer on Facebook*
my personal Twitter account

* sadly enough all referrals/ links to the Rock Star “Yoga” page on Facebook (url), have become invalid. I intend to start curating this blog, and update the links.