“Rock bottom became the foundation that I build my NEW life on.”
Nikki Sixx,  Facebook 2 July 2019

I ve heard the Mötley Crüe Netflix biopic The Dirt is good.
The film is based on the authorized band biography The Dirt (2001, audio book released this year) but my fascination with Nikki Sixx came through the Bon Jovi fan community.
And I listened to Nikki Sixx’ own audio book The Heroin Diaries.

Listening to Nikki Sixx’ voice proved to be as addictive as his heroin had once been.
He s a born storyteller and his decisiveness to want to understand himself and his analytical abilities, are off the charts.

And that’s just 1987 Nikki, strung out on dope.

Present day Nikki, who has his own chapters just like many of the people who were interviewed for The Heroin Diaries, is able to provide even more perspective.

His book is used to this day for education on drugs.
It’s supplied in rehab facilities and many addicts, whether fan from Mötley Crüe or not, find their own way to the book, and see their lives changed forever.
On The Heroin Diaries book signing tour, some would come see Nikki, while still shaking from withdrawal symptoms.
But they were so proud they could tell him they were off the drugs for a couple of days, and never wanted to get back on.

Now it’s not a fairy tale: Nikki has relapsed many times, before he was able to quit permanently.
But publishing his diaries in 2007, was the point when he knew he would never go back because he felt such a responsibility, to everyone who saw him as an inspiration.
And I too, fell for him.
Hard.

He’s intelligent, outspoken, audacious, and it’s not even possible for me to not love someone who dares to show his realness, his vulnerability, in a totally unapologetic way.
I don’t have a drug habit to quit, and so far I had one drink in July.
And yet even to me, that part spoke to me. The struggle.

I think because we all know that even when we’re not addicts, we have an area or areas, in our life where we ve been denying the truth. And got away with it.
Nikki Sixx was allowed to do his drugs because he was the driving force behind the band.
He was the leader of Mötley Crüe.
I think most of us didn’t realize that because usually the singer and the guitarist are the driving force behind the band.
And I heard that the movie The Dirt does not put Nikki in a leader role.

But I m absolutely convinced that it was Mötley Crüe’s bass player, song writer and lyricist Nikki Sixx, who was the one with the vision and had the biggest input on all the songs.
In one edition of his show The Sixx Sense, which you can find archived on YouTube, he said that he became the spokes person for the band, when during their first radio interview, none of the other band members said anything.

But although he spoke about it as if it was coincidental, it was so logical.

He may not have been their lead singer, but Nikki Sixx was clearly the brains of the band.
And he was also the demon who could do whatever he pleased.
No one was going to stop Nikki Sixx from doing drugs.
Only Nikki Sixx could do that.

I think that’s why The Heroin Diaries speaks to so many people, on so many different levels:
We all have areas in our lives where we hold a position that doesn’t allow other people to help us or to reach us.
Which I think, is a good thing.

But there comes a moment, when everybody has stopped pushing and pulling and caring, when you re ready to see where you are.
Even if that really is rock bottom.
And you pick yourself up by your black leather rock n roll bootstraps, and you build your life from there.

~Suzanne
Rock Star Writer

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Bon Jovi concert reviews 1995-1996 Suzanne Beenackers YouTube