Only Lonely | the album 7800° Fahrenheit

Scheveningen, 2010

In the category Least Sexy Compelling Bon Jovi Titles I think “Only Lonely” from their album 7800° Fahrenheit (1985) must rank pretty high.
Or, as Jon Bon Jovi introduced the song playing Scheveningen, The Netherlands (The Circle tour):
“This is one of the songs we never never never do.”

Depressing titles are not clickbait or as we said in 1985:
It just doesn’t sell.
And Fahrenheit was not their big breakthrough.
That would come with their next album Slippery When Wet.

“I always overlook the second album. Always have, always will.
We had no time to make it and we didn’t know who we were… “

Jon Bon Jovi on 7800° Fahrenheit

Yet it is a fan favorite and I ve seen one fan posting a photo, just last year.
He was over the moon for having his copy of Fahrenheit signed by Jon Bon Jovi.

If I would compare it to Star Wars (which I am) 7800° Fahrenheit was like The Last Jedi:
Some consider it the weakest of the Star Wars movies.
For others it’s a fan favorite who would not trade it for the world.
That, was 7800° Fahrenheit.

There are three songs on Fahrenheit with a similar theme:
Only Lonely
The Hardest Part is the Night
Silent Night
All about loneliness, survival of a breakup or otherwise emotionally trying to stay afloat. 
Fahrenheit is a far cry from the optimistic songs that would become one of Bon Jovi’s most recognizable trademarks. 

And yet it was this album in particular, that has sprung to mind multiple times, over the past few months. Because no other Bon Jovi album, describes the void of my last 18 months, as this Bon Jovi album that history forgot.

I usually start counting summer 2018, and then it’s 18 months.
But “it” had set in late 2017, without a doubt. Making it two years of depression, burnout or as I have come to understand it:
An existential crisis.

I had lost everything that defined me or lost my connection to the aspects and people in my life that remained the same.
There were very few friendships that survived and two of my best friends migrated.
One in 2017 and one in 2019. I “only” have one friend left nearby. S
he’s so much like me that we are practically the same person:
Driven, passionate and full of purpose.
We don’t have casual encounters or weekly Netflix dates. If we meet there is this powerful chemistry.
It would be extremely unwise to see each other often, unless the other option is a lengthy pilgrimage to a spiritual guru who will transform your life.
Then we could just plan an extra date and let our inner worlds collide and be home before midnight, fully changed.

But the two friends with whom I had dates that were so lighthearted, watched silly series or could eat french fries meanwhile discussing what the correct amount of mayonnaise is (I was a strong advocate for the 1:1 ratio fries to mayonnaise);
They have left.

I am alone.

However the biggest blow came late last year in December, when my lover broke up with me. 
This was not so much because there was a frequent get-together I was now missing out on. Nor did any support nor life-changing mental chemistry disappear.
I had made sure that when we were together and I had felt us elevating to romantic play and floating on a cloud of happiness I reminded myself:
“This is ME.
I am doing this too.
It is this level where I feel good, but I can get here without him too.”

For five years, like Tom Thumb, I had left a trail of spiritual rocks so that I could always find the way back, to the place where I had been with my lover.
So regardless of me feeling very sorry that he left, and that I would be alone there in that place where I had once been with him, it wasn’t losing this ethereal level of existence that worried me.
It was losing my identity.

During our affair I had forgotten that of course the biggest blow after a breakup is an identity one. An ego one.
I no longer “had” a lover, I no longer “was” a lover. 
After five years, I was just Suzanne…

Because I didn’t really know how I felt about that I followed the rocks back. Maybe this place where we’d been together, would tell me who I was. Or at least who I had been, during my time with him.
Who the version of me had been, there on that elevated plane of existence with him.

And I found her.
But she was so strong and so different than I remembered her.
I thought the part of myself that had been with him, had been flowy and feminine. Fun, playful, a little submissive. 
But she was none of those things.
She was there by herself, and she was unapologetic and fully at ease. She regretted that she didn’t have anyone to play with, but she knew she was not for everybody and that even if no one else ever came;
She was okay with that.
She could be there by herself, forever if needed.

It’s been a month since we broke up, and I feel ambitious and certain.
I have ended teaching yoga, and will go on “merely” as a writer and a publisher.
Suddenly, I was able to wrap up two years of not knowing,
that will be remembered for Only Lonely, Silent Night and The Hardest Part is the Night.
Two years which both history and me, will forget.

“All of us were going through tough times on a personal level.
And the strain told on the music we produced.
It wasn’t a pleasant experience… Lance Quinn wasn’t the man for us, and that added to the feeling that we were going about it badly.
None of us want to live in that mental state ever again.
We’ve put the record behind us, and moved on.”
Jon Bon Jovi on 7800 Fahrenheit

Maybe my lover was not the man for me.
And I would have gladly skipped the two years that were the worst period of my life.
But 17 months after 7800 Fahrenheit, Bon Jovi brought out their third album. It was their breakthrough and the #1 best-selling album of 1987.
Slippery When Wet.

Sounds like this will turn out great.

Rock Star Writer

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January 2021
This site started in 2019 as Rock Star Yoga, and this post from January 2020, concluded with this paragraph :

About Rock Star Yoga

The three pillars of Rock Star Yoga are:
1. raising your energy
Through any and all means nessecary. Two big often overlooked sources of energy are Purpose and Sexuality. By limiting these, you are limiting your potential and your energy.
Raising your energy also means, to raise your energy through yoga
(versus merely focusing on relaxation) or to engage in yoga in order to prepare and support your body to channel these big waves of creative energy.
2. RSY means a fully creative self-practice
Versus taking classes, sticking to a schedule or educating yourself in a certain lineage.
If you feel unsure where to start, you can find help on
YouTube. Yoga with Adriene, is my personal favorite. But there are plenty of other tools around.
If/ once you feel safe enough, you can let go, and just let the body express in the way it desires.
3. RSY means your body is your instrument
Just look at the way Slash handles his guitar, and an entire new way of looking at, and experiencing, your body, could arise. 



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