Who I am when I am not here. Photo as illustration, credit to owner.

source Twitter Daily Guns N Roses Archive https://twitter.com/dailygnr/status/1481284198707400708

I think this is something I should have told you a long time ago. But I chose to save it for when after a six week hiatus – six weeks where I damn well knew what I wanted to do here, it wasn’t that I didn’t know where to start – I finally write a post again.
Figuring that since I still not feel like writing a Bon Jovi inspired post, nor creating a Bon Jovi inspired video, and every day there is new drama to be dealt with;
I need to change the game.

Because every day there has either been recovering, decompressing from events or simply a way too busy social calendar;
Or it was marked by new mayhem, or adventures coming my way.

In the last 48 hours I ended up in the dentist chair after a family dinner and set my kitchen on fire after trying to clarify butter for the first time in 5 years and forgetting it was on the stove. It was a saucepan with boiling black oil when I discovered it.
And that was after recovering from post-vaccination rage.

Other events were several digital shitstorms and threatening situations, two days of migraine, and Covid related mayhem that ultimately turned out to be absolutely harmless.
If you had spoken to me in these first 12 days of the new year, it would have been hard to tell the difference between me and that dark witch from Harry Potter played by Helena Bonham Carter.
Bella Lestrange I think it is.

So yeah, things were bad. And since I have chosen my main topic to be Bon Jovi, I think that comes with a set of responsibilities!
One of them being you don’t show up when you’re capable of taking Harry Potter’s head off.

So unless I feel Bon Jovi – worthy, I stay away.

This is how I ultimately described it a few days ago:

But what I m pretty sure I have brushed on just lightly, making it seem unimportant, is that the essence of me, the me-at-my-core, is not a Bon Jovi fan but a Guns N Roses fan.

The positive-life-lessons, inspiring-words me, is someone I only see when the sun shines and everything goes smooth;
Dirty, nasty, sexy, antagonist me however?
Much higher chance of running into daily!

So if I want to make this blog Rock Star Writer work, if I want to start doing daily Bon Jovi yoga AND writing for the blog named after it;
If I want to make my two English YouTube channels work, and if I want to start showing up for my Dutch yoga channel again (which I do)?
Then I need to start including that side of me.

Because if I keep it a sunny day’s drive only;
2022 is not going to be, like the tweet says, what we all need it to be.

So I m gonna need you to buckle up, so I can show myself to you.
In all my random messiness, anger, and evilness.

Not because I want to, not because I think it would not be more preferable to be a little less out there, and at least take some of the edges off.

But because I’ve tried that, and we’re now at the point where it’s leading to 6 week hiatuses.

So next time I look or feel like that 80s picture of Guns N Roses, that I included in this post; Like a half naked, wasted, rock star without a sense of which way is up, and I probably just set fire to my kitchen?
Then I will no longer go missing in action.

I ll show up.

Rock Star Writer

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YouTube English: will be picked up SOON!
1: Life Lessons in Bon Jovi songs | Suzanne Beenackers YouTube
2: Rock Your Business

other blogs
Art & Popular Culture: World Between Worlds 

Daily Bon Jovi Yoga

reboot verwacht in 2022: Yoga Nederlands

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You can find my books The Little Mistress Who Turned Into A Baby Koala
A Boyfriend Like Jon Bongiovi
and White Tigress Yoga Workbook
at the bottom of this page:


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