How Creativity Became My Great Escape | Do What you Can

At Easter I made the resolution to create daily.
Because although I could not commit to one language, one medium, one craft; I COULD commit to creating.
In fact it was harder not to create, than to just let it flow out of me.
YouTube videos.
Yoga classes.
Blog posts.
Unofficial blogposts, or “illegal” as I like to call them. Where I used a Facebook page or my LinkedIn profile instead of a website to write, because I didn’t want subscribers to get too many emails.
Every day I created 2 or 3 things.
Creating daily has firmly planted my feet into feeling absolutely great.
I acknowledge being privileged here, I have little to no worries. But that makes it ( I think) even a bigger responsibility to keep your spirits up.
Creativity keeps my spirits up, but in turn, it also gives me something positive to share.
So almost from the get go, I understood creativity to be the antidote to a life in solitary confinement. Although with social media and multiple communication tools present, the term “solitary” is of course extremely relative. 
But compared to 6 weeks ago we all live in this tiny little world, trapped with our thoughts.
And in that world, I have found Creativity, giving myself permission to write, make videos and teach online classes, is really a great escape.
If you have control over what you create, it suddenly doesn’t matter that much that there’s huge chunks of your life and your future, you have little to no control over.
But yesterday night, during my free-flow, improvised yoga class  -where not just the exercises are created at the spot, but the theme itself is given full freedom to develop within the 75 minutes of the class –
I struck upon a wisdom which revealed an even deeper underlying principle, that I had unconsciously be applying.
That was far more extensive than just having something to do.
It was the aspect of Giving, without wondering how you were going to “get” stay nourished and taken care of yourself.
After having spent a large part of the class laying the foundation:
To make a decision, to stand your ground, to claim what is yours – all so that your foundation becomes strong enough for you to start inviting people in, and start sharing your gifts- I said:
“There is also a quicker way.”
And I said the quicker way is to simply start giving from wherever it is you are, and whatever it is you have, trusting that you will receive whatever is nessecary for you to function.
That it is not up to you to stake your claim, or to defend your resources:
It is only your task to share and give, what you feel called to share.
And to have faith that you will be taken care of.
That the resources will come.
That your work, is only in the giving, only in the sharing what you ve got.
And not only is it quicker: But have you ever wondered, that maybe this is really the only way? 
How much money were you going to save, how steady does your income need to be, how many crisis or unforeseen circumstances are you going to insure yourself against, before you feel “ready enough” to start giving to others and start sharing your work freely? 
It reminded me of how I became a yoga teacher. 
In 2001, I was doing more than 1 hour of yoga a day, and I was looking for a way to get taught in a way that supported that.
At that time there were no medium levels of support: It was either your weekly class, or a teacher training.
So I chose a teacher training, without any plans to become a teacher.
I just wanted to learn more and get the support.
But halfway in our four year training we did learn how to teach, and I immediately was one of the few who started doing it professionally.
And it was because of a deep insight:
If I teach, I make space in my mind to receive new things.
Teaching, verbalizing it to others, is the last stage of understanding it. As soon as I have shared it that directly, the lesson (on my part) is learned and has become part of who I am.
And space for the new is created.
It is the giving, that allows you to receive.
You can’t sit on your talents like Scrooge McDuck sits on his money. In year two of my training, it had become evident to me that the way to that made sense to complete this four year education, was to start sharing. 
I think it’s the same way with giving and sharing your work.
It is not just in the creation, in the creativity, where the healing comes from.
It’s in sharing it.
It’s in posting that video I created, publishing that blogpost, but also:
It s in teaching that class, and passing on what I know by teaching yoga.
You could even say that the reason I feel so good about being creative, is not because of the (narrow minded definition of) creativity at all:
It’s because it allows me to share something.
Yoga classes on YouTube and to my online group, and other videos on YouTube and creative writing.
Jon Bon Jovi and his wife have been very involved through their charity organization JBJ Soul Kitchen, providing meals.
They work around the clock, to make this happen, together with a lot of volunteers.
“If you can’t do what you do, you do what you can.” Jon Bon Jovi has called it, in a song he keeps adding different verses to which people send in to him.
He’s even sung it in classrooms, with children telling them what to sing.
You can follow Do What you Can on Bon Jovi YouTube and Instagram.
Four wise words that Jon Bon Jovi figured out weeks before I did:
Do what you can.



In June 2020, I renamed this site from Rock Star Yoga to Rock Star Writer.
I ll update all blogposts (there are 46) and will get my fingers into the YouTube channel soon, including retrieving content I had to take down in January because of technicalities.

New videos expected too, at Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

About this blog

These blog posts will go out randomly, as topics reveal themselves.
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* sadly enough all referrals/ links to the Rock Star “Yoga” page on Facebook (url), have become invalid. I intend to start curating this blog, and update the links.

I ve Become A Yoga Teacher Again And It’s “Showing” (request for patience)

It took a couple of days, before I realized what is going on, and that I will be inconsistent as a content creator (both YouTube and writing, both in Dutch and in English) for a longer period of time.
And that my new business as an online yoga teacher – something I just pulled out of hat and ran with it – is sincerely pulling me off track.

I need to send out some kind of statement, on what is going on behind the scenes, because the guilt is starting to eat at me.
Saturday I started my business, and that’s when it started.
And now it’s Wednesday, day 5, and I ve got my third live class tomorrow night, and I have three other appointments.
How did I get 4 appointments,  in quarantine??
Tomorrow morning I have an hour’s work very very early, because of renovations around the house that require my help.
Then I have an appointment with a curator, who is dealing with the company that went out of business and that still has my mailbox.
Then I have hours of admin work and a financial appointment.
And then tomorrow night I have my third live call, which will also be the first Rock Star Yoga class I ever teach, not counting the half hour videos I created for YouTube.

And I feel my own body craving, craving yoga….
Well actually it’s craving sex, but with the C. crisis I put that in the fridge.
I mean, what are the rules on sex?
“The” rules or even  just “my” rules?
If I want to be a responsible citizen (and I have vowed to be that, until this crisis is over and then I will never be “Good” again), can I have sex without being married/ living together?
Or with someone new?
With someone I already know?
With someone in good health under 70? 

I don’t know, it’s complicated, and to be honest I ve just written sex off for now.
But just to be sure that when I say my body is craving yoga, you know I m lying.
I think it’s debatable if any body has ever craved for yoga, if you ask me.
But I m digressing.

So my body is craving for yoga, but instead of having two yoga moments a day (videos and my own practice), I would now ideally have three:
– my own practice
– the two videos
– teaching yoga online
Since doing the first two had already proven to be a problem – I would get aches and pains in my joints and around my bones – it goes without saying that this week has been impossible.
Today, Wednesday, is my day free from online yoga, and I had hoped to make my YouTube videos, do my creative writing (which I have also not done for weeks) All I managed to do was my groceries, get daylight, cycle, take a nap. 

So there you have it.
Huge mess.
Oh, and I hardly sleep because teaching nights is messing with my rhythm.

So for now, all I can say is that I have to prioritize straightening out – well, first of all myself! Doing my own personal yoga practice, whilst fully acknowledging that is not what the body really wants but that’s all I can offer it right now.
And then, secondly, I m focusing on teaching a good online class.

So both the English Rock Star Yoga channel channel as well as my Dutch yoga channel will be having new videos.
With the Dutch Corona semi-lock down extended to end of April, I m not sure yet when, or how often.

For me, one of the reasons I started Rock Star Yoga, was because I believed raising your energy was very important.
Living in freedom, and not limiting yourself by what is “good” (doing yoga on Wednesday night) and what is “bad” (secret relationships). I called it Rock Star Yoga because for me it stood for having the life force just flow through you in it’s purest form:
And purpose or passion.

With sex being cut off, I think I m unconsciously searching how I can expand on my purpose and passion, how I can go all-in, more-in, on that, so that I get by.
So that I don’t completely lose all my life’s energy, by being cut off from my own sexuality, with all these rules of social distancing.

Rock Star Yoga was a two pillar philosophy. It was both sex and purpose.
With one gone, it’s just going to take a little while, before I ve got my alternative energy sources in place.
But once you see me creating two videos a day, you know I nailed it.
Or broke the rules.
If you live in the Netherlands, you can check my online yoga groups here

The subscription button is somewhere on this page, usually on the top right, and we’re on:

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I teach online yoga to friends and fans who live in The Netherlands.
vriendengroep online yoga
Rock Star Yoga (English) is every Thursday night

Some Pesky Pink Flamingos (YouTube confession)

No, no, no; Don’t worry!
This is by no means the heavy soul searching stuff, I had to tackle last time,
in order to come out on the other side.
Far from it.
It has actually been an amazing weekend, where I felt very much alive as a yoga teacher, for the first time in years.
And this includes feeling alive as a Rock Star Yoga Teacher.
It’s just that I had to come on and write here, Sunday late at night, because I was/am irritated that my videos for Rock Star Yoga YouTube, fell through.
I accomplished so much, including setting up my new business as a local online yoga teacher (If you live in the Netherlands, you can check my online yoga groups here), only to see something so close to my heart failing.
I love Rock Star Yoga.
It’s what gave me direction, what showed me the way back to yoga, at a time when I thought I was lost forever.
And then in the weekend when I started a new yoga business;
I “failed” Rock Star Yoga.
It was as if the videos were cursed.
I threw out a Bon Jovi talk video and multiple yoga videos titled Pink Flamingos.
And although I look forward to filming it again tomorrow morning, I think:

“What is it with those birds? Why is it so difficult?”
If I get a hold of them after all, that new video will be uploaded on my Rock Star Yoga channel. 
But meanwhile, I thought let’s hop on here, and explain what Pink Flamingos actually means.
As a Bon Jovi reference?
I think only the die hardest of fans will know.
And those who do, probably didn’t know until in this century, when internet and fan groups became a bigger thing.
I m pretty sure that in the eighties, when Pink Flamingos by Bon Jovi originated, no one knew.
Pink Flamingos is the amazing synthesizer intro to Let it Rock, the first song on the Slippery When Wet album.
I ve called it “Sex on a keyboard” once, and I ll do it again:
Pink Flamingos is sex on a key board.
Written and played by David Bryan, Bon Jovi’s keyboard player.

In my Rock Star Yoga origin story, the intro to Let It Rock plays a big role.
I consider it my sexual awakening.
So why that video of mine, the yoga video Pink Flamingos, where I was going to do lots of balance poses – because “Flamingo”- why that keeps being postponed, dismissed or deleted?
I don’t know.
But who knows how long it took David to get it right.
And then maybe, one Monday late March he got it.
Let’s hope so.
The subscription button is somewhere on this page, usually on the top right, and we’re on:

Rock Star Yoga on Facebook
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I teach online yoga to friends and fans who live in The Netherlands.
vriendengroep online yoga
Rock Star Yoga (English) is every Thursday night

Wanted Dead or … Alive?

This is not an easy blog post, and I give you full permission to not read it.
I created an upbeat 8 minute video, today.

So I certainly do not intend to make Rock Star Yoga all doom and gloom!
And knowing myself, I may actually “snap out of this”! 
I may suddenly see the light, and move forward in a way like never before.
So you’re very welcome to wait until that day, because I appreciate your presence and I am very selective with what I read myself:
If you are here for the days that IT ROCKS!
I send you all the love, and permission to skip, fully granted ❤
But for me, nor the massive breakthroughs nor the sudden cancellations, happen overnight. 
A lot of thinking and processing happens before that, and today is such a day.
In the 8 months Rock Star Yoga exists, I have not doubt it so strongly as today.
And I want to share with you what haunts me.
Why I feel unsure if there is still a place for Rock Star Yoga, in this world.
If there is still a place for me, the truest part of me, as an individual.
I’m sure the toned-down, responsible version of me can make a contribution.
But that’s not the real me.
Tonight I wrote a post for the Facebook page.
And what was intended to be a short goodnight post, turned into a detailed description of why I suddenly doubt my mission, my purpose, in light of the C crisis.
Why I really have no idea what my purpose is and if Rock Star Yoga did not belong in a world that is now lost.
In one of the many earlier videos of Rock Star Yoga, which I had to delete because YouTube had unedited my 400+ videodatabase, I talked about the difference between creators or creatives versus builders or sustainers.
And that although the world is fascinated with creators/creatives, little is understood of our nature.
That you can’t educate us, or train us, or ask of us to behave in a different, more constructive way, without damaging the essence of who we are.
Just like a builder/sustainer will never come with something truly creative;
A creator/creative will never come with something truly sustainable.
We, creatives, create and we destroy.
That is the nature of who we are.
You could say: That is our purpose.
In retrospect, the post I wrote for Facebook, and I will include it exactly the way I wrote it there, is about that difference.
I guess what has been haunting me is:
In a world that became for builders and sustainers, overnight,
do we still create?
Or do we still exist?
~ Suzanne

As posted on Facebook

Sometimes I feel every update in the last month cries for this particular Gif:
Jon Bon Jovi in the eighties.
I believe it’s from the Wanted Dead Or Alive video.
I could, should maybe one day will, write a blog post on the complexity of ALL of the emotions going on in this three second clip!
But not tonight.
Because tonight I really do feel like Jon there.
As if it never ends.
Like all of us I suppose, I feel confronted with difficult choices every day.
Can I go out? Should I ALWAYS stay indoors?
Can I NEVER see a friend or family member without having to be deeply ashamed of my wildly irresponsible behavior?
And for how long?
Until there is a vaccine every interaction is going to be scrutinized?
Despite Dutch government explicitly saying the virus will become a common factor in our daily lives, and that the only reason we are putting a stop on social interactions is because otherwise the hospitals will collapse,
I keep reading comments that imply all citizens should behave as if they are in total lock-down.
Even though government deliberately did not go for a lock-down because it does not believe the virus can ultimately be stopped.
But on social people who go outside are shamed.
Even though our Dutch regulations say you can go outside, and even meet a friend as long as you are healthy and don’t touch each other.
So it seems at least to me, that somewhere something doesn’t add up.
Social distance for strangers seems to have been confused with friends and family; And working from home and avoiding crowds was confused with measures instructing a total lockdown.
Some of you may remember a video I shot two weeks ago, and I m not going to include the link because that’s making it more important than it is, but I have a social phobia.
And it’s taking its toll.
I, and I can only imagine other people with social phobias as well, do not hear the reasons on which you judge other people.
We hear that you judge.
And we interpret it as:
“If I want this person to be my friend, I need to behave just like he or she insists is the only right way, or I have to be prepared to discuss it.”
I understand it’s fear.
I understand you’re worried.
I understand you’re probably projecting accusations on things and behaviors you’ve seen that do not have anything to do with me, onto me.
But all that doesn’t make it easier.
And I wonder how long we are going to look at each other to “be careful” in order to protect ourselves and our loved ones?
This could take 18 months, before we have a vaccine.
Are we going to forbid healthy people to go out, for 18 months?
Are we going to prohibit children from playing outside, for 18 months?
Are we going to keep banners on our Facebook profiles “Stay inside” for 18 months?
And I have a social phobia: Nothing scares me more than the idea that I behave in a way that you will judge me for.
I will stay inside for 18 months, don’t worry.
So it would surprise me if you would see me change things.
If I would have that conversation on how much time we are prepared to stay in hiding.
I ll hide forever.
Not because I m afraid of the virus but of your judgement.
Some of us destroy others, others destroy themselves.
Two days ago, I destroyed my pen name.
I didn’t want to be the artist I was for 14 years, because she could not breathe in this world.
So I rescued her, and brought her to 1995.
Where she can take solace, for as long as it is needed.
But Rock Star Yoga?
Man… I don’t know.
I feel that either I have to pretend Rock Star Yoga is a bonding, unifying practice; vanilla and sweet.
And safe.
In other worlds, I would have to pretend it’s normal yoga.
Or admit that Rock Star Yoga is rebellious way of doing life, because it ultimately stands for individual freedom.
In a time when everybody is so relieved that we have finally found our collective, that is an unbearable message…
And that therefor, just like my pen name, I may have to stop Rock Star Yoga.
Because we have enough that disrupts society already.
Rock Star Yoga was to create awareness that you are a lot more free than you think.
That morals are worth fighting.
I was 15 when I said groups and collective thinking were evil.
I never fitted into groups, I was afraid of them and I found them dangerous. By calling it a social phobia I m taking all the blame ( “Oh it’s me!”) but that’s me being agreeable.
I think it’s very threatening that we are not thinking about our own boundaries and so easily adapt the Your Body Is A Weapon Of Mass Destruction That Should Be Hidden Indoors vision.
So dead or alive?
I really, honestly, don’t know.
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Rock on Anyway

As I m writing this I have no idea if I will make yoga videos tonight;
A Bon Jovi talk?
But yoga?
From what I recall from yesterday, when I postponed my “We Rule the Night” yoga video (inspired by a rare 1985 Bon Jovi song) to nighttime, only to realize:
I DO NOT rule the night-
Is that I promised myself I d do better today.
And not wait so long.
Because despite the badass ring to it;
My Rock Star Yoga was going to be a daytime thing.
Little did I know, that me finding out I lost my bankcard yesterday, followed by intensive searches both indoor as well as outdoor, tracking back yesterday’s hour long walk;
Combined with a few Corona related choices and forecasts I had to make-
Would lead to me living an entire day that was entirely unforeseen.
But, and this did come true, as soon as I accepted that I lost the card and it was not going to come back-
I made a decision.
That this was going to work in my advantage.
That any financial costs or time investments, would pay themselves back.
That things were happening exactly as they should.
Maybe if my card was found, it would be like a super high end business card! And picked up by someone who would Google me, and would like what he or she saw.
Because I may not rule the night, and not film those yoga videos I promised.
Or toss them out when I do (yesterday’s Rock Star Yoga video ended in the trash bin)
But that’s no reason not to rock life.
When I got home, someone who I had sent a message through LinkedIn two weeks ago, had written me a very kind reply.
In my mind, at least energetically, he was the one who had picked up my lost bankcard, the high level golden business card!
Whatever your unexpected chain of events is today:
Stay calm.
And rock on.
PS: new Bon Jovi talks and Rock Star Yoga videos are posted at:
PPS Let’s rock it together!
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Access All Areas – A Rock & Roll Odyssey

on VHS

From October 1988 to February 1990, Bon Jovi toured the world with their Jersey Syndicate Tour.
They visited North America, South America, Australia and New Zealand, Japan, Europe; And they created three music videos and one music documentary.
Which could have their last because the tour schedule was so gruesome, and all band members so exhausted, that it would probably have been their last tour and the band would never have gotten back together, if they had finished it one day later.

I saw Access All Areas once, must have been nine months ago or something. And I remember that it was actually quite painstaking to get all the different parts together at YouTube.
But now I found this Spanish subtitled version, which has the entire documentary.
There is no DVD.
After the 90s, when Access All Areas was released on VHS, the DVD was only supplied in the New Jersey Super Deluxe (not regular Deluxe) reissue box, from 2014.
I think being able to rewatch Access All Areas all in one piece will already make a huge difference, compared to the scattered experience from last spring.
But there is another reason why I know it will be different this time, rewatching it;
I found the structure behind it.
In preparing the video I shot today – one I ultimately deleted when I was editing it, because my psychedelic glitter top was hypnotizing the viewer – I had encountered the Wiki page that explained the structure of the documentary; What and where.
I think it will make a great manual to (re-)watch this documentary Access All Areas.
I like structures. Usually I create them myself. For example I categorized all Bon Jovi albums and all songs per decade, for my Bon Jovi series on YouTube.
But to complement this pret-a-porter Bon Jovi content list I found, I added dates from their tour schedule.
You can find the documentary at the top of this page.
And here is its content:
<text continues below>
1. Introduction
2. Show #3 / Dublin, Ireland – 1 Nov 1988
3. Show #9 / Rome, Italy – 14 Nov 1988
4. Italian TV Show
5. Behind The Iron Curtain
6. Moscow Music Peace Festival – 12, 13 Aug 1989
7. First Leg European Tour – Nov/Dec 1988
8. Rio de Janeiro, Brazil – 26 Jan 1990
9. Tokyo, Japan – 31 Dec 1988/ 1 Jan 1989
10. All Star Jam, Wembley Arena, England – Dec 1988 OR Jan 1990
11. In Store Signing / London, England
12. Berlin, Germany
13. Nordhoff Robbins Music Therapy Benefit
14. Sydney, Australia – 2, 3, 4 November 1989
15. The Homecoming
16. Rare Club Dates
17. Show #232 / The Last Gig – 17 Feb 1990
18. “Livin’ On A Prayer”
19. Credits
I will be watching the documentary again, and hope they have added dates in the documentary. And that mine was incorrect.
Because if my dating is right, it sure explains why I didn’t “understand” the documentary the first time;
They seem to have changed the chronological order.
Which immediately shows the downside of being so determined to “figure everything out”. To dig and dissect until you understand the underlying structure, so that you can put it back together again;
Some things are like love. Or God.
They cannot be understood.
Only felt.


PS! I will create another video tomorrow. And will remember to wear a different shirt 😉
Have you subscribed to Rock Star Yoga YouTube yet?
I create Bon Jovi inspired Rock Star Yoga talks + yoga videos

PPS Let’s rock it together!
The subscription button is somewhere on this page, usually on the top right, and we’re on:

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Rock Your Morning – The Hell Yes! Routine That Will Get You Out Of Bed All Excited

A while ago (I looked it up, it was 2012) a book was published which promised to transform your life before 8 A.M.
Originally I thought this was a brilliant idea.
Who would not want that?
Until I discovered applying The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod included doing an hour of All The Things I Don’t Want to Do before 8 A.M.
And that the time-slot was problematic for me.
I was never home before 10.30 P.M and the only time I went to bed before midnight was the half year I had a boyfriend who wanted to have a call every night at 11.15 PM.
I would unwind with a vengeance in 45 minutes flat, so that I was in pj’s in bed, by the time he called.
I know it would sound much better if I said I was naked or only wearing a red G-string, but sexy sleeping is one of those on-and-off things for me.
And one that’s usually off.
Aside from that brief period in my life where my lover provided me with a sensible bedtime, I never got to bed before 0.30 AM.
There was no way I was going to transform my life first thing in the morning, unless a boyfriend was going to plan that out for me.
In which case it would last 6 months.
But it wasn’t just that Hal Elrod’s ambitious kick start to the day conflicted with my nightly teaching schedule.
It was also because I genuinely dreaded the tasks I was supposed to do.
Something Hal referred to as:
“best practices, developed over centuries of human consciousness”
Well not Suzanne’s consciousness.
I m not going to start my day with a glass of water, meditation, affirmation, visualization, reading, journaling, yoga;
And call that the life I want.
It’s actually a spot on description of a life I will avoid at all costs.
But (again) it is more than that.
The reason Hal Elrod’s morning routine, just like 5 step processes or How To- books AND also regular yoga, will fail to impress the creatives, the driven entrepreneurs, the full-on high level badasses of the world who are stoked about life and everything in it?
Is the passivity of it all.
The stillness.
Nothing is created, so therefor it will never satisfy us.
I can only imagine that for some people spending their entire morning on inner-work and reflection must work out great, because morning meditation and yoga are thousands of years old, and people have called The Miracle Morning life changing.
So I will take their word for it. 
And, get ready for this – and this will require an extremely flexible mind and paying attention, but it is crucial to understand-
It’s not that I don’t journal.
It’s not that I don’t do yoga.
It’s not that I don’t visualize or do affirmations.
But it comes from an entirely different place, and it is something that buzzes with excitement and is so tightly knit to my goals and dreams that it is an effortless, ever changing, don’t-even-have-to-think-about-it, stream of consciousness and activities.
That I have done for 10+ years by now.
It is also the reason I at one point stopped doing yoga because I didn’t want to “calm down and relax”.
Why would I want to leave that place at the top of the mountain where you just feel really really good about life?
Why would I come down from feeling great?
What was there to relax from?
So the key difference between Hal Elrod’s Miracle Morning routine, regular, standard journaling, and so on and so forth, and what I teach;
Is that I make sure I only do things that GIVE me energy. That is what gets me up every morning super excited to start my day.
Currently I have slowed down my morning routine by watching Sex and the City having breakfast and cuddling the cats. But for years I just took my breakfast behind my computer and started writing.
And maybe I ll switch back some day, because it’s certainly the most natural thing for me. 
So before I share my rock star morning routine and also tell you the real secret to creating the life you want (one no one seems to understand) here’s the first big takeaway:
DO the things that give you energy
STOP doing the things that drain you.
Kicking yourself to the gym every day? Christ! Do you know what else you could be doing with all the energy? Probably save the world and everybody on it.
Activities you do for yourself should GIVE you energy, not drain you.
Not even initially (although I will nuance that later).
But in general, you should be extremely excited over all the things you do in your life. And if you don’t feel that; Reframe it, rewrite it in your head. Find a way so that you CAN feel excited about it.
Attach a big goal to it.
Make it a challenge.
Turn it into a quest.
But do not start doing that activity, feeling all yucky because it’s like energetically rolling around in your own dirt.
You first need to elevate your energy, until you’re pumped to go do that thing.
Last week I drew back from what I will call “The Only Job I Ever Really Wanted”. Not because I didn’t want it anymore but because it had been two weeks, and I had not heard from them.
The momentum had just disappeared.  

I had been pumped about it but after two weeks of waiting it was gone.
And as effortless as it had been to go all in, that’s how easy it was to pull the plug.
Because I refused to let something that had given me energy, turn into something that was draining and basically a struggle.
Things should not be a struggle.
A struggle is if you want something and you’re not getting it.
The solution is to stop wanting it, and to believe you will get it if it was meant for you. It was already created by your mind, by wanting it;
There is no more work to be done.
You just need to stop doing/ actively wanting it, and you need to give it a chance to come to you. 
You know the saying that you can’t lose what’s really yours because it will always return to you. And if it doesn’t, it wasn’t yours.
You can’t lose your dream job, your dream partner, your dream life.
You only lose the things that were not that.
Have faith. Follow the flow. Follow the energy, and stop digging through the dirt, swimming upstream, pushing shit up the hill, and then needing to relax and reflect on that.
You need to move the other way, where the energy just flows naturally, and the idea of a yoga class either excites you (because you have some cool ideas on how to rock it!) or it repels you because your purpose work calls you so loudly, there is no way you re going to waste time to slow down.
After I share my morning routine, I will tell you the other secret, one Hal Elrod doesn’t know either.
So what is my morning routine?
Well my favorite morning routine, or daily routine, is extremely simple and monotonous: Write, write, write, write.
I could do it all day, every day, and maybe one day I will give into it.
It’s an addiction of the sweetest kind.
But I assume that’s not the answer you want to hear.
So my other daily routine, and one I did not commit to, nor designed, until I understood the secret I will share later, is based on doing things that energize me. Or that are very tightly connected to my goals.
I have embedded the “requires (startup) energy” between the effortless activities.
effortless/ energizing = e/e 
requires startup energy = SU 
Here is my 1 hour Rock Star Routine:
1. e/e 8 minutes – finance. Check back statements/ pay bills/ log expenses 

2. SU 8 minutes – journaling. Write out affirmations, all present tense. I am/do/have
3. SU 8 minutes – work on publishing my books. This is the most difficult activity for me, where I have the most resistance around
4. e/e 8 minutes fitness -listening to Bon Jovi
5. e/e 8 minutes stretching/ yoga – listening to Bon Jovi
6. e/e Write for the remaining hour to unlimited, depending on how much time I have. 

Why doing small/ 8 minute tasks is critical
(the secret even Hal Elrod doesn’t know)

One of my biggest rationalizations to not do Hal Elrod’s morning routine, was that I don’t like small tasks and switching. I work from flow, and unless I have at least half an hour, I don’t feel like doing it.
To cut my life up in 10 minutes chunks seemed unappealing and highly ineffective. No one gets anything done in 8 minutes.
And although I still find it unappealing – it will never replace the flow of writing – I eat my words on calling it ineffective.
Doing a tiny bit of something is VERY effective.
You know why?
Because you create from the mind.
If you do it right that is. Which is by treating these “activities” not like an activity – as if you’re ticking off a to-do list –  but like mindset work or like performing a magic ritual.
The 8 minute activity is the magic, the ritual creating your future.
My financial future is not created from what I do in those 8 minutes – but from the mindset of being in touch with my own finances, and connecting to my dreams and goals in that field.
My body is not reshaped because I do my exercises, but because it reminds me of my health and fitness goals.
It is not the journaling as in blindly copying yesterday’s affirmations and writing them out another day; It is starting fresh, writing out the affirmations that come up that day.
You should never have to refer back to yesterday’s page to know what your goals are, you should just let them come up and the real goals will come.
It all ties in with what I call Rock Star Yoga: An intuitive practice where you just put on a Bon Jovi album, tune in with what’s inside, and move your body the way it wants to.
Someone could write out exactly what it is you do, or what I do, how we move our bodies on the yoga mat and how we’ve spend the 1 hour 5 minutes of “Keep the Faith”;
But it was never about that.
It was the tuning in, that got us the experience. The tuning in, is the magic.
Tuning into an area of your life, will get you do results.
Not what you do.
So now create your own morning routine.
What are the areas you want to focus on in your life?
As a reminder, mine were:
– creating a future/ life of my dreams: which made me include journaling and writing
– becoming a famous author (under my pen name): which made me include publishing my books
– creating the body of my dreams: fitness and yoga
– upleveling my finance: checking in my bankaccount daily. Which highly energizes me, so I could have included it just for that reason only..

Keep track of which activities are 
effortless/ energizing = e/e 
require startup energy = SU
Naturally, to make it fun and a “Hell yes!” routine, include as few SU’s as possible, and as many fun, energizing activities as you can.

Maybe you first want to design and implement a Rock Star morning with energizing activities, and without any activities you don’t like.

So to rock your morning and create a Hell Yes! routine that will get you out of bed all excited:
1. do things that RAISE YOUR ENERGY
And that are completely effortless!
Design your routine in a way that makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning.
2. implement extra activities to CREATE FROM THE MIND
On any and all other areas in your life, that matter to you.
Keep on rocking.
Let’s rock it together!
The subscription button is somewhere on this page, usually on the top right, and we’re on:

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The series that took me two days, a restless night, on-screen crying and way too much coffee.

Jon Bon Jovi is currently visiting the UK and giving interview after interview for British radio and TV.
I expect, without bursting into tears.

This is my longest video series to date, and I actually already shot three of these videos yesterday.
Working until midnight.

And after going to bed, guess what?
In the middle of the night, I deleted everything from YouTube.
and adjusted the previous blog post, taking out a coaching offer.

Everything had suddenly felt SO wrong.
Afterwards I slept like a baby.

So what had happened?

Well, after a tumultuous Tuesday, I had sat down and broke down everything I had learned and decided I was going to turn up the heat.
I spent hours filming, redoing, uploading.
But the reason I found myself jumping out of bed and frantically taking down EVERYTHING I had created, is because sometimes topics are so hard, that you are not satisfied with how they come out initially.

That the truth is there, but the “Story” is not. Not yet.

So I started from scratch and redid all my work today, and yes.
They’re spot on now.
Still uncomfortably honest, and I may go out the moment I post them, to get my mind off them-
but this is the way they’re supposed to be.

~ Suzanne

Here they are: 4 different videos with Bon Jovi titles. And moving through the decades, like we always do.

1/4 7800° Fahrenheit (title album 1985)

On finding out I had been playing small creating yoga videos (!!)
And had also left way too much space for playing small after a social hiccup.

What we can all learn from this 2nd album from Bon Jovi, which was a do or die moment in their career, is that if you meet resistance or if things don’t feel right, the answer is never to play it safe and play small;
ut to turn up the heat, and go bolder and bigger.

2/4 The Fire Inside (from 100.000.000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong, and dated to the 90s)

The Fire Inside is from 5 disk set “100.000.000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong”
and was dated back to the 90s.
The song is about creative passion.

This video is on how I had marginalized my purpose work (the fire inside) to being this thing I was going to PLAN OUT (??!!)
at taking place in 1 hour and 45 minutes on weeknights.

Remembering Freddie Mercury in the movie Bohemian Rhapsody, when he is told off for being late:
“I’m a performer, darling,
not a Swiss train conductor.”

Ending by looking forward (although that might not be the appropriate choice of words here!) to the third video, and how it was already quit the ordeal yesterday.

3/4 Story of My Life (bonus track on Have a Nice Day, 2005)

The story about why I quit teaching yoga, that I never told…..

4/4 I’m Your Man (Burning Bridges, 2015)

Oh, the biggie.
This week I discovered something about my sexuality, that ran a lot deeper than anecdotal events and stories which I may or may not have shared.
I discovered the one major thing, that will always make my sexuality threatening to others.


Subscribe to YouTube for the Rock Star Yoga Bon Jovi Series 
AND new yoga videos coming up!
(because in video 1/4 you’ll see me realizing I had been playing small there too)

Are you Dutch?
Will soon kickstart my new Dutch Yoga channel!


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7800 Fahrenheit: Let’s turn up the heat!

Oh my…. You know that expression:
“God whispers. But if you don’t listen he’ll throw bricks at you.”
Good news is: It ain’t bricks.
I m finally understanding things, before God sends me to the ER.
But it sure as hell were EXTREMELY CLEAR messages!
And they will have an enormous impact on what I ve been doing here (or: not doing…. (yes God, I get it)) with Rock Star Yoga.
So, fasten your seat belts, as I will turn up the heat, starting tonight by filming as many new vids as I can, containing all these new insights which – of course- do not just mean, that I have been playing small.
Denying myself.
And basically tried to marginalize my very own existence in order to avoid being seen.
But… that in all likeliness…maybe…. so have you?
Maybe we’ve both been hiding the rock star within, in order to play small and get by without being noticed?
So for me, the breakthrough came today. It’s a long story, but I ll tell it in a juicy way. Before God starts throwing bricks after all, for being a total bore.
But – as sort of an elaboration – I do think it all started this weekend, already.
When I learned to drink whiskey (video: Live before you die) and learned the hard way, by almost suffocating myself, that planning my life literally takes my breath away.
(video: God Bless This Mess)
You can watch both at my channel:
And witness the first two Aha-moments, of what would become a big breakthrough 48 hours later.
Before I finally started rocking it.
Our new videos will be posted to YouTube on Wednesday February 26;

I originally added an offer here, but I have decided to pull it back including all the videos I filmed after a major breakthrough!
Tomorrow, I will create new videos, including one where I share why I decided to never again become commercially active.
And why offering my services as a teacher or coach, or even speaker, would actually block what I can do for you way quicker, for free. 


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Wildflower: The reinvention of Rock Star Yoga

about the video: “Wildflower” is on the Have a Nice Day album (2005) and it was performed live, only twice. This is one of them.

Five days ago I posted a photo on Facebook.
A rose.
And I wrote an honest, spontaneous message, that uplifted me, yet confronted me with a brutal truth:
How not uplifting my posts had recently been.

That the fear of not having enough time to write these lengthy posts (I have five blogs), had made me way too eager to focus on YouTube, and limit this Rock Star Yoga blog to transcripts of that.
And I must say, these stories held up remarkably well, after being written out from video to blog.
But I didn’t even blog the last ones. I made the drafts, but then I saved them, and never finished them.

After Monday’s rose post, I felt the tables had turned!
And on Wednesday and Thursday I LEAPED, at the YouTube channel!

I created two stories in my Bon Jovi series, and I started teaching real yoga there as well! 
So if you subscribe to YouTube, you can still follow the original Rock Star Yoga Bon Jovi series, and the new online classes.

But today (Friday) it was almost as if I had to pay for it..

Now I am not telling the whole story, if I say that today’s meltdown was all caused by a backlash from my work for YouTube.
In fact it wasn’t caused by that at all.
It’s just that I do see a pattern, that whenever I m completely in the zone of doing what I love, I tend to sabotage myself. Or seem overly susceptible to old fears haunting me.
Not in exactly the same way, as they have been doing since I was 15.
That would not work, because ultimately I ve always been able to debunk them. 
But they’re masters at shape shifting, and always come up with something new and inventive, that – at least initially – looks as a Real Fear I Should Into.
Pro tip: 
It may be a real fear, but that doesn’t make it a real threat.

Since last year my fear dresses up as a very particular social fear, and I m not even going tell fear of what, because I have very bad experiences with that.
Ever since my first anxiety attacks, I ve learned that fear is contagious.
If I tell people I have “anxiety” or are “phobic”; they are very understanding.

But as soon as I tell them what it is I fear, they immediately become scared themselves and tell me it’s “good to be careful” and “not everybody has to know.”
In other words, I m actually confirmed in my fear.
I think this is a particular burden to bear for people with social anxiety. I m sure it doesn’t happen if you have a fear of spiders.
But that’s why I m not sharing the specifics.
Just that it hit me hard today, and that it was a difficult day because of it. I had been looking forward to staying productive, and instead something had happened and fear hit me in the head.
It’s very late on a Friday night, and it’s just now that I remember that I was originally so looking for to today; To writing for this Rock Star Yoga blog.
And to announce how I’m totally revamping it, to being a fun, lighthearted, NON SCRIPTED blog!
Ha ha ha!
So either way, although I felt a bit conscious, of rebooting something that is so important to me, on a day where I feel I ve been hit by many demons from the past. Knocked straight on the head! And slapped on the face!
And maybe received a good spanking too!
Although that would have taken the sharpest edges off, I guess 😉

I did feel a bit uncertain to have the audacity to just get back into the saddle, stick to the plan, and say:
“Hey! We’re upleveling this blog, and it’s gonna be so cool!”
The day had not been perfect, and although I was starting to recover from my anxiety, I wasn’t light and bright. And I probably still had demonic residue  stuck to my new curly hair.
(I also had a great haircut, which you can see on YouTube)

Yet, I made a decision that getting back into the saddle and sticking to the plan, was exactly what I was going to do.

So here’s the deal: 
This is the Rock Star Yoga blog, and it was founded in 2019, to share all the things that Yoga Does Not Tell You.
All the stuff that really doubles or quadruples your energy.
All the fears, and the pain, and the seemingly-not-important-enough irritations with life itself, that are actually holding you back from everything you are meant to be doing, everything you can be, do, have. Holding you back from your purpose, from adventure, from creating a full-blown life you love.
THAT’S Rock Star Yoga.
Originally Rock Star Yoga were these blogposts, combined with YouTube videos (which I had to take down because YouTube unedited my videos) and then for a while it were just transcripts from my new YouTube series.
But what I m going to do is:
Rip the band aid.
Speak from the heart.
Look all those uncomfortable fears into the eye, whenever they come back to haunt me – and they do so particularly when I m going off the path and start to flow with life. And I m going to encourage you to do the same.
Ignore them, let them be, and start moving the needle on your life.

I invite you to follow this blog.
Not to be soothed by a done-for-you formula where you know what to expect. Just like life, there’s no telling what to expect, and what will be shared here!

But I promise this blog will be more bouncy and honest than ever, and it will give you that jump of the heart, or maybe even gut, of feeling alive.
Being surprised.

And wild.


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Rock Your Yoga

Rock Star Yoga is based on principles of being your own teacher, raising your energy, using your body as your instrument, and full creative freedom in your practice.

If you would like to practice with a teacher first, you can subscribe to my YouTube, where I will be creating a new database,
or check these recommended resources:

Yoga with Adriene

Yoga with Bird

Yoga with Kassandra

Rebel Yoga Nederlands: