Month: January 2021

The Rock Star Relationship. My non-monogamous dating style explained with Jon Bon Jovi

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The title of this blogpost was initially “consensual non-monogamy explained with”.
And that was after ditching “polyamorous relationships explained with”, even though technically, if I would draw up how my love life would potentially look, a relationship where both partners (including me) are polyamorous, is a logical outcome.

The main reason I stayed away, and in all likeliness will always stay away, from using known concepts around non-monogamy, is that I DO NOT feel they start at the same point as I do.
They work from an entirely different paradigm, which is that it is okay to love more people, and have sex with more people.
I don’t want to have sex with more people.
I want my partner to have that.

I have a default mode within myself, of capital M monogamy, that is actually so firmly stuck in “ON”, that even at moments where I should have just “gone for it” I could not get that switch to flip.
I can be in love with more men at once, so logically I know that this could at one point materialize in having more partners than one;
But so far this has not happened.

Whether my M switch stays On or turns out to have some give;
I want a partner to be someone who is comfortable flipping his switch.
And he doesn’t need my approval, nor is he going to endlessly communicate about it.

I think the most repelling thing about what I understand as consensual open relationships or polyamorous relationships is the openness, the talking, the communication.
I m like: “Can I trust you’ll stay adventurous, so that I can dream about you, and make you the center of my universe without you crashing under the pressure?”
With Jon Bon Jovi?
Yes.
Normal men?
Most likely No.

But (even) within polyamorous relationships, my preference, my starting point, the thing I ve always instinctively known I WANT (capitals meaning it’s actually more a need than a want)?
Is not their starting point.
What I want is, in general but also outside polyamory, defined as something that is “a phase you’ll grow out of”, and specifically within polyamory they would question if I belong in a polyamorous relationship.

If I m not better off “with my own people”, and settle, literally and figuratively, for a monogamous partner.
Instead of claiming my spot- which I admit I have failed to do but with the trouble that keeps causing I might- in the world of the brave;
The non-monogamous tribe.
Because that IS where I belong. 

The closest description of what I am, but it still has massive flaws, is “mono-poly relationship style”.
Meaning a relationship between a monogamous person (me) and a polyamorous person. But even within the polyamorous world, the mono is so often seen as someone who accidentally fell for a poly! 
That the mono person really doesn’t want to be there, and secretly wishes their partner were different, or, perhaps more accurately, that their poly-partner was the same as them and most people in society.

That someone who is not inclined to have multiple relationships (like me), would actually prefer to have a relationship with someone who has more partners, is practically unheard off.
Even as a female Jon Bon Jovi fan, I feel I have to explain I, nor the majority of other female fans, do NOT secretly dream of having Jon for ourselves.

When it comes to admiring a rock star there really is an understanding that the fact there are millions of other fans, is contributing to his erotic capital.
And I think “erotic capital” might be the vocabulary that could have been key in this post about a Rock Star Relationship style, but it really is such a multilayered term, that it would deserve an entire post of its own.
So I m not going to talk about erotic capital and focus on monogamy/non-monogamy.

If we agree that having all those fans contributes to Jon Bon Jovi’s sexual appeal;
Why, in normal life, would that be ANY different?

To me, whether you share yourself musically or sexually;
It is all non-monogamy.
It is all what I am looking for.
Wanted: Non-monogamous partner. Point. Or: explanation mark

So let’s play around with these concepts.

If this were one of those logic puzzles, it would be something like:
Suzanne likes men who share themselves with more people.
Jon Bon Jovi is a man who shares himself with more people.
Can Suzanne fall in love with Jon Bon Jovi?

Yes.
And not just “can” Suzanne do this;
I have been in love with Jon Bon Jovi since I was an early teen and technically in terms of being over 18, he was not just the first man but for a long time also the only Man I was in love with.

Suzanne likes men who share themselves with more people.
Tom is a man who shares himself with more people.
Can Suzanne fall in love with Tom?

Maybe. We know very little about Tom, but he’s got the basics in place.

Suzanne likes men who share themselves with more people.
Richard is a business man who has a way with the ladies.
Richard showers Suzanne with gifts.
Can Suzanne fall in love with Richard?

Richard is not paying attention because Suzanne wants quality time. 
He doesn’t stand a chance.

Suzanne likes men who share themselves with more people.
Frank sometimes interacts with Suzanne on Twitter.
For the first time, he sends her a Direct Message.
“Hi Suzanne, How about a coffee?”

Which is bold, Frank could be rejected, and he probably will be.
By now we know how difficult Suzanne is.
But he has a cute profile picture and she goes for it.

Suzanne likes men who share themselves with more people.
Frank gives her a tour of the Goffert park and how after Covid even more concerts and festivals will be organized there.
He can already see the new layout, with a new entrance, an ascending wooden, festival floor for better view and it’s better for the grass.
A new world is taking shape in his mind.
Can Suzanne fall in love with Frank?

Yes.

Maybe that reveals another reason why I have never used terms as non-monogamy or polyamory;
They suggest that the relationship itself is A Thing.
And that we’re going to develop ourselves, and improve ourselves and our lives through This Thing, and then it is important to give that thing the shape that suits you.

Maybe that is why, I have never asked the polyamorous people if I can join, even though it would give me access to the by me highly desired polyamorous men.
I d rather have men like Frank who are entirely caught up in all the great things they’re working on, and neither one of us discussing our relationship status.

I d rather fall for men like Jon Bon Jovi.
He’s just rocking the world, and that’s what we get to see and we all understand that’s enough.

Maybe my relationship style is that I want someone who is absorbed in doing the thing he loves, and from that enthusiastic energy, he likes to share himself or his work, with other people.
And if he wants sex to be part of his experience, if it is what excites him, then why would I not want that for him?
His outgoingness, his liveliness being the very thing I like about him.
It doesn’t make sense to exclude sex with other people, and it doesn’t even make sense to discuss it before hand!

Jon Bon Jovi does not ask for our consent if it’s okay he’s going to leave after the show.
Then why are we making sex into such a big deal and burden each other with all these responsibilities with regard to openness and honesty, and transparency?
And then we design entire relationship concepts around if honesty, openness, monogamy etcetera, are present or not.

I think, ultimately, I (for myself) should really be stepping away from the non-monogamy aspect of what I like as well.
It doesn’t matter.
It’s all way too close to “normal” relationships, and also way too close to existing non-monogamous relationship styles.
I m just going to invent an entirely new thing!

The Rock Star Relationship

It means I am never going to ask of a partner, what I would not ask of Jon Bon Jovi.

It means I’m just there to enjoy the show.

~Suzanne
Rock Star Writer

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video:
Fan made video with also the sexiest Bon Jovi song in history. It’s not even on an official record, only on special editions.

I Get A Rush | series: The Box Set

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video: the original on the box set

2nd video: the cover “Rockin’ All Over The World” was the main inspiration for
“I Get A Rush”

For a wee moment, I was afraid I would have to create something out of nothing.
There seemed to be no significant information available about the eighth song on the box set 100.000.000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong (2004)

But I did find a few great lines in an article from 2018, that ranked all Bon Jovi songs!
It said (with I Get A Rush at position 80)

80. “I Get a Rush,” 100,000,000 Bon Jovi Fans Can’t Be Wrong (2004)    

Inspired by John Fogerty’s “Rockin’ All Over the World,” which was later performed with Steven Van Zandt on their 1995 tour.   
“I Get a Rush,” from three years later, is an utter delicacy of joy, with a humble arm-waving chorus.

There are so many cute things in this description, I would add a blushing emoji with the hands, if I knew where to find things like that on my desktop.

First of all the song it refers to, “Rockin’All Over The World”, is probably their most played cover song.
And since I m reviewing the 1995 Crossroad tour on YouTube; I have heard it frequently, including the times Rockin’All Over The World was performed with Steven Van Zandt, which is Little Steven from Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band.

But for us eighties people Little Steven rose to some kind of Untouchable Legendary Status because he wrote, produced, organized a collaboration between dozens of musicians “Artists United Against Apartheid” with a song called Sun City (1985);
About how you should not be playing this white resort in South Africa.

So with that background, that’s already a short circuit of things to like about the song that inspired the eighth song on the box set.

The only “big but” I have with the description of this song, at place 80, is that unlike what that description says, I Get A Rush was not from three years after 1995;
It was from 1996.
A time when Bon Jovi were still touring, although the tour was now officially named the These Days tour and no longer the Crossroad tour.
Meaning “Rockin’ All Over The World” was still very fresh or even still being played, when the, and I quote, “utter delicacy of joy” that is I Get A Rush, was written.

But there is more.

Before I write these posts about the songs on the Box Set I always listen to as many (live) versions of the song, as I can find. And it was there, where I found the next gem.
I m so excited by this, and I don’t even entirely know what it means! 
But I think it’s about sex and Jon Bon Jovi;
So who needs to know more, right?
[ I would now have added an emoji with one big eye and one small eye and the tongue out of its mouth, so I guess this is the moment for gratitude that I m still on my desktop. ]

The video I am talking about, is I Get A Rush performed in 2009, by Jon Bon Jovi on a fan club day.
And here’s what (I think) Jon says:

“I’m gonna have to introduce all the songs because I’m telling you, it will go a bit crazy but we’re gonna start easy. It’s like foreplay, I m gonna get going real slow,”
* makes hand gestures indicating he’s touching a lot of curves*
“touching and feeling. Feel the whole way around.”
(at this stage the yelling in the crowd is probably costing a few eardrums)
“You’re moving just so close”
Jon now makes a hand gesture that indicates that he has brought his face very close to the woman’s, but doesn’t go for the kiss.
He drops the hand, and fully confident that he knows how this is done, he says the final words as he turns around, talking to the friends he’s playing with this night.
“And you wait for her to make the move BACK!”

And I’m yelling and screaming in front of my desktop:
“Oh my God, that is EXACTLY how it is done!”

That’s how you get a rush.

~Suzanne
Rock Star Writer

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The BOX SET SERIES

In 2004 Bon Jovi created a 4-cd (1 dvd) box set with unreleased work,
called “100.000.000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong”.
In this series, The Box Set, I am discussing all of the 50 songs

I Get A Rush
is the seventh post in
The Box Set Series

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video:
I Get a Rush at the Jon Bon Jovi fan club day 2009.

(These arms are) Open all night | series: The Box Set

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video:
The song Open All Night on the Bounce album (not the Box Set) is from the same family.

In 2004 Bon Jovi created a 4-cd (1 dvd) box set with unreleased work,
called “100.000.000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong”.
In this series, The Box Set, I am discussing all of the 50 songs.

And it’s a welcome back post!
Because a few weeks ago, I quit this series. A major reason was that in 2019 I had already written about the songs that were up next:
So “Open all night” and “These arms are open all night” had already been discussed.

The following is an updated version from that post.
Making it the oldest post in this series. 

(These arms are) Open all night | series: The Box Set

For all women currently between 42 and 50, this was the male bench mark. God have mercy on our souls.

“This title, Open all night, we’ve used about five times.
We finally did a song on the Bounce record,
called Open all night.

Great title, we never could get it right.”
Jon Bon Jovi, 32 min 28 sec 

.
So according to Jon, there were five songs called Open All Night.
But even if you go with the three that were released, you’d have trouble distinguishing them.

The only mainstream version of Open all night is, like Jon said, on the album Bounce.

The Box Set, 100,000,000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong, is for the fans and has the two other versions:
Open all night and These arms are open all night.

Three different songs, but they’re all ballads which makes them similar.
And although the title of the song on Bounce is “Open all night”;
The lyrics of that song sing “These arms are open all night.”
Adding to the confusion about which song is which.

I’ve listened to all three songs, and here is what I found.

For clarity’s sake, I m going to assume the protagonist of these songs is male, and preferably Jon Bon Jovi, unless he specifically says that he is Jones and he drives a dented red Chevrolet then we go with that.
And we’ll assume the other person is a woman.

So here’s the three different songs:

1. Open all night
at 100,000,000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong
live version Atlantic City 2004

Is about a girlfriend who has left to make it in the world and her boyfriend waiting at the bar, telling her not to worry.
Open all night refers to the boyfriend being open all night, meaning waiting for her.

2. These arms are open all night
at 100,000,000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong
live version Borgota 2004

Is about a man who introduces himself as “Jones” and informs us he has a dented red Chevrolet, and gives a woman he met at the bar a detailed description how to get to his house.

Now if Jon Bon Jovi would try pick me up with this:
“These arms are open all night
If you need someone to talk to
A hand to hold onto and if it feels right
These arms are open all night“
That would be a Hell YES! if ever there was any.

I would feel completely seen, wanted, desired, and although I m not a night person at all, I would make an exception.
However.
This song identifies him as not being JBJ, but as “Jones”.
And I m actually surprised Jones sees the headlights of the woman behind him following him, because he confesses (out loud!?):
“God only knows how long it’s been that I been this lonely”

So instead of the gorgeous man Jon Bon Jovi – and then I have not even talked about the husky speaking voice Jon has and the sensitivity of the songs, and so on – so instead of that man who was glued to my wall in the 80s, who was my first concert, and who still falls into the category “I still definitely would”;
We’re now talking about someone I just met, in the middle of the night, who feels lonely?

I have not heard one reason to say Yes to this.

And even if it had been Jon “Rock God” Bon Jovi?
The shorter the encounter is gonna be, the more I want to feel special and loved, and a real connection. 

Which brings me to:

3. Open all night, main version, Bounce
album recording

There is a reason this is the one that made it to the main studio album.
It starts with a verse where Jon – Jon’s back! I like him MUCH better than somebody who introduces himself with a surname Jones – shares with us that he saw us coming from a mile away and noticed our poor little heart was bruised black and blue.

Then we get a verse where he tells us that he too, has been hurt. He knows how it feels. And that the last thing we need is another pickup line, so he’s not going to do that.
Wait.
Maybe I should just quote this. Here are those verses:

“I saw you coming from a mile away
Trying to hide behind that pretty face
Bet my last dollar baby you been bruised
Poor little heart all black ‘n’ blue

Last thing you need’s another pickup line
You must have heard them all a thousand times
God only knows what you been through
Believe me I been broken too

It aches, it breaks, it takes your breath away
I’ve been around that block a time or two”
…
Okay, if there is a woman now, considering to NOT immediately go with Jon, she’s lying.

We just got picked up in 2,5 verse.

Bring in the chorus:
“Baby, I don’t want to fall in love with you
I try, try, try but I can’t get around the truth
Please don’t say my name, give this heart a break
I don’t want to make the same mistake but it’s too late
I’ll leave on the light
These arms are open all night”

Song number 3 wins.
Jon gets the girl.

This is such a no-brainer that I feel like an idiot even going through the rest of the song, but I will do so, as a sign of song-appreciation.

So we had Jon buttering us up with perfect verses and bringing it home with the best pickup chorus in the history of rock music and then we have:
(Take it away Jon)

“I got your taste in the back of my mouth
I want to reach in and pull it out
And I’d be lying if I didn’t say
When you’re this close I’m afraid

Of the way I’ll feel if I touch your hair
The way I’ll miss you when you’re not there
And that I’ll see you when I close my eyes
It’s too late, I’ve crossed that line“

Not only did Jon have us at “Baby, I don’t want to fall in love with you”;
He now burns the very last of our entire defense system to the ground,
by admitting he too has fallen hard for us.
That he didn’t want to fall in love, he wasn’t looking for it, he wasn’t needy or lonely, and yet it happened anyway.
*soft sigh*
Isn’t life beautiful?

Are we now not all dreaming of being swept off our feet by someone we don’t want to fall in love with, but we just can’t help ourselves?

In another documentary, Jon speaks about his mixed feelings of singing ballads in front of a live audience. The interviewer tells him that the crowd was completely quiet the other night, when Jon sang his version of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah.
Jon answers:
“There is a ballad called Open all Night, on Bounce, that I love for that reason.
But it gets the polite applause at the end, because it’s not that..”
*makes energetic hand gestures*
(18 min 30 sec)

After this analysis of the lyrics of Open all Night on Bounce, I don’t believe Jon.
I don’t believe anyone would not get it, if Jon sang this live.
That was not a “polite” applause.
That was “God that hurt please play a rock anthem to make it go away.” – applause.

It was a crowd with arms that were not just open for Jon;
They would have given them both to have him in it.

~Suzanne
Rock Star Writer

.

The BOX SET SERIES

(These Arms Are) Open All Night
is the sixth post in
The Box Set Series

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These arms are open all night (Live)
{from 100,000,000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong}

Need to Bounce back today?

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photo by Mark Weiss – click to go to his amazing book The Decade That Rocked, 2020

There are few things as frustrating, as having a good night sleep and a day filled with sunlight (sun? at least daylight), fresh air and hours of exercise with walking and cycling the forests of Nijmegen;
And having them punished by a headache.

Because I had not finished my second (!) coffee this morning, I thought there was a chance the headache was from caffeine withdrawal, so I had an extra coffee.
But to no effect.

So here I am, at the end of a frustrated afternoon, where I did not film the new video for my hibernating 1995 Bon Jovi Concert series on YouTube

I spent the entire morning studying all the notes I made (I have scripted out all the lines Jon has said during the Lahr concert, Germany)
Filmed the video too but threw it out because it wasn’t good enough.
And then there was the “biathlon” which did not bring me home blushing and in radiant health, ready to reshoot.

Not good.
Not good at all.

But, and this is where YouTube turns out to be your Savior in times of need,
I was happily surprised by a YouTube suggestion:
A review of the Bon Jovi album Bounce.
And Bounce may be my favorite Bon Jovi album…. 

So I checked it out and not only am I totally loving the review;
Erik’s House: Bon Jovi BOUNCE (2002) Album REVIEW with SCORES

But Erik is creating an entire playlist of Bon Jovi reviews, starting with 2020.

Erik is funny, knowledgeable, and although everybody who gives almost all heavy guitar songs on Bounce a straight “ten” has already been cleared by me, it was when he shared his thoughts on the ballads and just casually threw in “Silent Night”;
That I knew this was a true fan.

So go check out Erik’s Bounce review on YouTube or at the bottom of this post.

And if you have a headache?
Then you go for the big guns and binge watch Erik’s entire list of Bon Jovi reviews.

Bouncing back guaranteed.

~Suzanne
Rock Star Writer
.
New video Bon Jovi Concert Review Lahr 1995 expected tomorrow at:
Suzanne Beenackers YouTube
.

The New Rock Star Writer 

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Dry County: the well that keeps on giving

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Click to go to YouTube playlist of Dry County live performances, starting with the very first in 1993

You never know if something is the beginning or the end of something, don’t you?
With relationships, I think many of us have thought we were at the beginning of something.
A thing that, in retrospect, never quite started but was held together by a desire for a lover, for a friend, for a career.
It was a Fata Morgana from our desire to belong, that did not exist in reality.

Once we took our eyes off it, just for a moment, it evaporated.
When we looked back, all we could see was hot vibrating air over desert sand.

And in all likeliness, that’s all there ever was.

But the opposite happens as well. That you do not wish, don’t want nor will it to life yet year after year?
That friendship is still going strong.
That lover is still your number one.
You still work for pleasure, the good experiences just layer on top of each other, and you have to pinch yourself time after time.
Is this real?

I am someone who does not count on anything to be there in the morning;
And as a result, I frequently get happily surprised.
Often I believe that something is so good, so outstanding, it can never last forever. 
Or, like I had with the 2019 Bon Jovi concert;
I KNOW, it’s not forever.

It’s 2,5 hours, and then you have to wait for years.
And if you add a Covid pandemic, you may have to wait for years times twice, before Bon Jovi plays Nijmegen, The Netherlands again.

Yet little did I know that the 2019 Bon Jovi concert I had been looking out for and preparing for for half a year;
Would not bring about an apocalypse of being a fan, where it would all come crashing down in a violent post-concert rebound.
No.
The concert had been just the beginning.

I had not even scratched the surface of what being a Bon Jovi fan was going to bring me.

My journey into fandom, into Bon Jovi, and probably also the journey into me, had just started.

I know so much more about Bon Jovi, since then. And one of the songs that keeps unraveling and revealing its secrets, is Dry County.
Although of course it doesn’t;
No matter how often you listen to it, you can never fully understand it.

No matter how often you take your gaze off it;
No matter how many years go by;
No matter how often you listen to it, or alternatively regardless of how little attention you pay to it;

Dry County is the well that has always more to give.

.

The New Rock Star Writer 

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New videos on the 1995 concert series expected soon at
Suzanne Beenackers YouTube

video: the latest addition to the expanding collection of memorable Dry County performances. An extremely rare rendition of Dry County, sung in the original key.

 

New Year’s Day | Welcome to the new random Bon Jovi blog where we have no idea what we’re gonna do (and why that’s a good thing)

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Click to watch a newly remastered 35 minute video from the concert Bon Jovi gave on New year’s Eve, 1990

The first of January is my strongest day of the year. You could even say that knowing it will soon come, is what gets me through December. 

New Year’s Day doesn’t just mark new beginnings, with the days getting longer and a full year ahead, it’s also the ending of a season where all my days seem to disappear somewhere under Christmas shopping, gift wrapping, meal planning, buying and or designing seasonal postcards, and so on.

In January we start over, to make ourselves or our lives aright.
At least, that’s how I see it.

So today was indeed spent doing the things I from now on want to do daily, as well as having a great time with friends, and walking and sunlight and cycling and being very excited for the whole new year-
but now at the end of the day, I feel:
Blimey.
For this Rock Star Writer project I have very little to show for….

It’s like so much has failed for this site, as well as for the YouTube series, that although I am still enthusiastic for about 80% of the projects, they are all so far behind on schedule that I almost don’t dare to show up for them.
Don’t dare to bring them back to memory, by picking them up!

As long as I keep them hidden under the last posts, no one will know. As long as I don’t post a new video, no one will know how much time has passed.

But then again: That is not how I want to start the year.
Or at least, it’s not how I want to start January 2nd.

So I ve decided to “come clean”.
To be honest about the mess I made, and take responsibility for not doing the things I said I was gonna do.
And what you can expect in 2021.
.

ENDING Most SERIES 

This site and channel started in 2019 as Rock Star Yoga. And I ve created about 50 videos for YouTube on juicy topics (I remember videos where I now can’t believe I dared to share that!) but also really novel ones that basically came down to a 50/50 mix of yoga and personal development with Bon Jovi.
And the result was really great.

But due to a combination of factors, some technical and some personal, I started feeling very conscious of the content.
And on top of that, the description boxes kept getting out of date, because I went through some changes with my offerings, website names etc.

A few weeks ago I started restoring them – which was a great idea.
But I also turned it into a new project where I blogged the restored video, and adding a new blog post as well.
In retrospect that’s when I got overwhelmed.
But blogging/ restoring my old content was not the first thing that failed.
I also had a series Live from London, which had stranded.
A series The Box Set, which had stranded.
And a YouTube series on concerts from 1995, that had also stranded.

But now the mess was so big that I have decided to cancel all series (The Box Set, Live In London, restoring old videos) and only pick up the YouTube concert series, from everything I started in 2020.

So I will commit to reviewing the Bon Jovi concerts 1995-1996.
You can subscribe to my YouTube to see them.

And for the blog?
I will do what has worked, time and time again, which is a line I even repeated in every description box on YouTube (too bad I didn’t understand its implications!).
It was:
“Blog with its own unique stories (+ address to this site) “

This blog Rock Star Writer will have its own, unique, one-off, single-shot stories of whatever comes up.

I’m singing Carpe Diem
I’m saying seize the day
Come on, let’s live forever
It’s new year’s day

from Bon Jovi, New year’s Day 2016 

.
Let 2021 be the year where we do not plan ahead.
And make it Carpe Diem instead.

~Suzanne
Rock Star Writer
.

The New Rock Star Writer 

Subscribe to the blog, to get these posts in your mailbox.
You can find the subscription button on this page, probably somewhere on the right.

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New videos on the 1995 concert series expected soon at
Suzanne Beenackers YouTube