No Yoga is not just my quest to find the yoga back I lost; it can free all of us rebels from constantly hitting dead ends in yoga, because it’s just way too slow and boring.
Or, alternatively, we conclude after further investigation that there is no life left in it; And we turn our backs on it forever. Which in my case means; burning a 20 year yoga legacy, and admitting I wasted half my life.
But I sense No Yoga is that thing we all wanted, but never dared to ask.
And maybe I ll find out, I m done with yoga and never want to have anything to do with it!
It is a laboratory, a search. Yoga could have died on me.
But if not expect frequent reports/ vlogs on: – if I can roll out my mat, preferably without gagging – find the joy in what I once called yoga – forget everything that came after (which was a lot) – bring Guns N Roses to my yoga mat – and Bon Jovi – and maybe Jon Bon Jovi’s soul searching solo album Blaze of Glory, although I I m afraid we’re at least half a year away from being that introspective.
Either way, let’s find out; Buckle up and enjoy the ride. Swearing allowed!
No Yoga is YouTube only and the reports are not posted to this Rock Star blog, nor to my regular YouTube channel.
Those are rock/ stories/Bon Jovi only.
I ve gotta be honest with you; The mood I m currently in, is not the gentile, understanding, yet a holding-the-space-like-a-mofo mood I thought I had to offer you, at the beginning of this week. When I tweeted that I was going to write about youon this blog. It’s quite the opposite.
The mood I m in is an everything needs to burn and be destroyed mood. Starting with a ritualistic massacre of the last two decades of my life, because I was a yoga teacher and I have feelings about that. Not the teaching of the classes itself, especially in recent years when my students became friends and friends will be students again, post-Covid. No, the hate and resentment started when I took my trainings and there were expectations and things you that were expected of you as a yoga teacher, and things that were frowned upon or “not encouraged”.
In retrospect it feels like I was gaslit for two decades, into being of service, into being connected, into being Good. And I did and was all those things because I believed I had to because that was my work. But I compensated by not practicing yoga, hating myself, overeating, resenting my work, and living under a different identity.
But mostly I compensated with hate. If yoga taught me anything, it taught me how to hate.
If I go looking somewhere late 20th century, I should be able to find the unspoiled, honeymoon version of yoga, that brought me to life and made me fall in the love with the practice. At first I thought she, this fun loving yoga spirit, was hiding in Bon Jovi albums; And all the home yoga I did do the past few years, were with your music! I was sure something as pure and good as the first 3 years of my practice, would automatically return to me if I kept listening to your records.
But no such luck mon cherie.
It was like in 1989: My boyfriend, with whom I had been listening to Bon Jovi records, broke up with me. I felt I had no choice but to stop being a Bon Jovi fan, and switched to Guns N Roses. Appetite for Destruction, never felt so good as then. And Appetite for Destruction, is what is needed now.
Before me and yoga get along again, I need to listen and do yoga, or simply just listen if doing yoga is too much; I need to listen to Appetite for Destruction.
The bad yoga memories need to be expelled, purged, drawn out like poison from a wound.
But after I ve had my most destructive phase? And in case it ends well, and me and yoga hit if off?
I ll try Bounce!
Then These Days! And then all the other Bon Jovi records.*)
So that’s where I am at! In this week filled with disappointments when I thought yoga would come back to me easily and effortlessly, I fell right back into the pit of hate, resentment, loathing instead. It’s poisoning me, at great speed. And it’s either going to kill me from the inside out, or I find a way back to my true self, starting with having Appetite for Destruction do the heavy lifting for me.
It is in that very inconvenient, raw, energy I am in, that I look at the two of you. Jon and Richie; our two beloved front men just like Mick and Keith, just like Axl and Slash. And from those three duos, you were and are the ones with the head start. The better cards. Less extreme personalities. Better people skills. Less drug addiction. More clarity business wise.
And you made it through!
I mean, damn it you guys!
You did not break in that hell of the late 80s, early 90s, when bands were just SMACKED around by life, by management, by the train of the music industry moving at great speed and crushing everything that could not keep up.
You coped, you made it through, only to let the whole thing fall to pieces in the 21st century.
I think I am the only fan who has never watched the full induction into the Rock N Roll hall of fame. I just can’t. There is so much unsaid. It is so uncomfortable to watch you two, clearly still not knowing how to deal with the fact you re no longer working together. But then I thought, there is a plus side to it; Because I think you are so close.
It will take far less effort than you could possibly imagine. It probably would not even feel like effort at all.
You are so close to finding each other, I can feel it in my bones. Whatever it was that started to poison how you related, just like my relationship to yoga got poisoned without me recognizing it; It’s not real. You are still the same men, as you were in the earliest days of the band. And you’re also still the same as when you were writing songs in Richie’s basement.
There is a Covid pandemic, which may keep you two from meeting in person. You re living on opposite sides of the country. But otherwise I would have suggested to start in Jon’s basement; That place he shared, or showed, to the fans on Instagram and Twitter. Where all the memorabilia lay from all those years with the band.
Just push all the stuff aside, roll some basic equipment in, and roll out a rug on the floor. Set up two chairs for two men with guitars, and a fridge with some cold beer.
And you just see what comes up. Keep it simple.
And if that is too much, if it hurts you almost physically. If it’s too close to too much pain; Then you go to Plan B.
You start with Appetite.
~Suzanne
Rock Star Writer
.
*) post-script 2021 04 02: Shortly after writing this post all the hate and resentment disappeared, and I’m doing yoga again! https://dailybonjoviyoga.com/It’s not daily yet. That name was a bit too optimistic. But me and yoga have definitely kissed and made up and we’re rockin’ it.
Subscribe to the blog, to get these posts in your mailbox. You can find the subscription button on this page, probably somewhere on the right.
The title of this blogpost was initially “consensual non-monogamy explained with”.
And that was after ditching “polyamorous relationships explained with”, even though technically, if I would draw up how my love life would potentially look, a relationship where both partners (including me) are polyamorous, is a logical outcome.
The main reason I stayed away, and in all likeliness will always stay away, from using known concepts around non-monogamy, is that I DO NOT feel they start at the same point as I do. They work from an entirely different paradigm, which is that it is okay to love more people, and have sex with more people.
I don’t want to have sex with more people.
I want my partner to have that.
I have a default mode within myself, of capital M monogamy, that is actually so firmly stuck in “ON”, that even at moments where I should have just “gone for it” I could not get that switch to flip.
I can be in love with more men at once, so logically I know that this could at one point materialize in having more partners than one;
But so far this has not happened.
Whether my M switch stays On or turns out to have some give;
I want a partner to be someone who is comfortable flipping his switch.
And he doesn’t need my approval, nor is he going to endlessly communicate about it.
I think the most repelling thing about what I understand as consensual open relationships or polyamorous relationships is the openness, the talking, the communication. I m like: “Can I trust you’ll stay adventurous, so that I can dream about you, and make you the center of my universe without you crashing under the pressure?”
With Jon Bon Jovi?
Yes.
Normal men?
Most likely No.
But (even) within polyamorous relationships, my preference, my starting point, the thing I ve always instinctively known I WANT (capitals meaning it’s actually more a need than a want)? Is not their starting point. What I want is, in general but also outside polyamory, defined as something that is “a phase you’ll grow out of”, and specifically within polyamory they would question if I belong in a polyamorous relationship.
If I m not better off “with my own people”, and settle, literally and figuratively, for a monogamous partner. Instead of claiming my spot- which I admit I have failed to do but with the trouble that keeps causing I might- in the world of the brave; The non-monogamous tribe. Because that IS where I belong.
The closest description of what I am, but it still has massive flaws, is “mono-poly relationship style”. Meaning a relationship between a monogamous person (me) and a polyamorous person. But even within the polyamorous world, the mono is so often seen as someone who accidentally fell for a poly! That the mono person really doesn’t want to be there, and secretly wishes their partner were different, or, perhaps more accurately, that their poly-partner was the same as them and most people in society.
That someone who is not inclined to have multiple relationships (like me), would actually prefer to have a relationship with someone who has more partners, is practically unheard off.
Even as a female Jon Bon Jovi fan, I feel I have to explain I, nor the majority of other female fans, do NOT secretly dream of having Jon for ourselves.
When it comes to admiring a rock star there really is an understanding that the fact there are millions of other fans, is contributing to his erotic capital. And I think “erotic capital” might be the vocabulary that could have been key in this post about a Rock Star Relationship style, but it really is such a multilayered term, that it would deserve an entire post of its own.
So I m not going to talk about erotic capital and focus on monogamy/non-monogamy.
If we agree that having all those fans contributes to Jon Bon Jovi’s sexual appeal; Why, in normal life, would that be ANY different?
To me, whether you share yourself musically or sexually; It is all non-monogamy. It is all what I am looking for. Wanted: Non-monogamous partner. Point. Or: explanation mark
So let’s play around with these concepts.
If this were one of those logic puzzles, it would be something like: Suzanne likes men who share themselves with more people. Jon Bon Jovi is a man who shares himself with more people. Can Suzanne fall in love with Jon Bon Jovi?
Yes.
And not just “can” Suzanne do this;
I have been in love with Jon Bon Jovi since I was an early teen and technically in terms of being over 18, he was not just the first man but for a long time also the only Man I was in love with.
Suzanne likes men who share themselves with more people. Tom is a man who shares himself with more people. Can Suzanne fall in love with Tom?
Maybe. We know very little about Tom, but he’s got the basics in place.
Suzanne likes men who share themselves with more people. Richard is a business man who has a way with the ladies.
Richard showers Suzanne with gifts. Can Suzanne fall in love with Richard?
Richard is not paying attention because Suzanne wants quality time. He doesn’t stand a chance.
Suzanne likes men who share themselves with more people. Frank sometimes interacts with Suzanne on Twitter.
For the first time, he sends her a Direct Message. “Hi Suzanne, How about a coffee?”
Which is bold, Frank could be rejected, and he probably will be.
By now we know how difficult Suzanne is.
But he has a cute profile picture and she goes for it.
Suzanne likes men who share themselves with more people. Frank gives her a tour of the Goffert park and how after Covid even more concerts and festivals will be organized there.
He can already see the new layout, with a new entrance, an ascending wooden, festival floor for better view and it’s better for the grass.
A new world is taking shape in his mind.
Can Suzanne fall in love with Frank?
Yes.
Maybe that reveals another reason why I have never used terms as non-monogamy or polyamory;
They suggest that the relationship itself is A Thing.
And that we’re going to develop ourselves, and improve ourselves and our lives through This Thing, and then it is important to give that thing the shape that suits you.
Maybe that is why, I have never asked the polyamorous people if I can join, even though it would give me access to the by me highly desired polyamorous men.
I d rather have men like Frank who are entirely caught up in all the great things they’re working on, and neither one of us discussing our relationship status.
I d rather fall for men like Jon Bon Jovi.
He’s just rocking the world, and that’s what we get to see and we all understand that’s enough.
Maybe my relationship style is that I want someone who is absorbed in doing the thing he loves, and from that enthusiastic energy, he likes to share himself or his work, with other people. And if he wants sex to be part of his experience, if it is what excites him, then why would I not want that for him?
His outgoingness, his liveliness being the very thing I like about him.
It doesn’t make sense to exclude sex with other people, and it doesn’t even make sense to discuss it before hand!
Jon Bon Jovi does not ask for our consent if it’s okay he’s going to leave after the show. Then why are we making sex into such a big deal and burden each other with all these responsibilities with regard to openness and honesty, and transparency? And then we design entire relationship concepts around if honesty, openness, monogamy etcetera, are present or not.
I think, ultimately, I (for myself) should really be stepping away from the non-monogamy aspect of what I like as well.
It doesn’t matter.
It’s all way too close to “normal” relationships, and also way too close to existing non-monogamous relationship styles.
I m just going to invent an entirely new thing!
The Rock Star Relationship
It means I am never going to ask of a partner, what I would not ask of Jon Bon Jovi.
It means I’m just there to enjoy the show.
~Suzanne
Rock Star Writer
.
Subscribe to the blog, to get these posts in your mailbox. You can find the subscription button on this page, probably somewhere on the right.
2nd video: the cover “Rockin’ All Over The World” was the main inspiration for
“I Get A Rush”
For a wee moment, I was afraid I would have to create something out of nothing.
There seemed to be no significant information available about the eighth song on the box set 100.000.000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong (2004)
80. “I Get a Rush,” 100,000,000 Bon Jovi Fans Can’t Be Wrong (2004)
Inspired by John Fogerty’s “Rockin’ All Over the World,” which was later performed with Steven Van Zandt on their 1995 tour. “I Get a Rush,” from three years later, is an utter delicacy of joy, with a humble arm-waving chorus.
There are so many cute things in this description, I would add a blushing emoji with the hands, if I knew where to find things like that on my desktop.
First of all the song it refers to, “Rockin’All Over The World”, is probably their most played cover song. And since I m reviewing the 1995 Crossroad tour on YouTube; I have heard it frequently, including the times Rockin’All Over The World was performed with Steven Van Zandt, which is Little Steven from Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band.
But for us eighties people Little Steven rose to some kind of Untouchable Legendary Status because he wrote, produced, organized a collaboration between dozens of musicians “Artists United Against Apartheid” with a song called Sun City (1985);
About how you should not be playing this white resort in South Africa.
So with that background, that’s already a short circuit of things to like about the song that inspired the eighth song on the box set.
The only “big but” I have with the description of this song, at place 80, is that unlike what that description says, I Get A Rush was not from three years after 1995; It was from 1996. A time when Bon Jovi were still touring, although the tour was now officially named the These Days tour and no longer the Crossroad tour.
Meaning “Rockin’ All Over The World” was still very fresh or even still being played, when the, and I quote, “utter delicacy of joy” that is I Get A Rush, was written.
But there is more.
Before I write these posts about the songs on the Box Set I always listen to as many (live) versions of the song, as I can find. And it was there, where I found the next gem. I m so excited by this, and I don’t even entirely know what it means! But I think it’s about sex and Jon Bon Jovi;
So who needs to know more, right? [ I would now have added an emoji with one big eye and one small eye and the tongue out of its mouth, so I guess this is the moment for gratitude that I m still on my desktop. ]
“I’m gonna have to introduce all the songs because I’m telling you, it will go a bit crazy but we’re gonna start easy. It’s like foreplay, I m gonna get going real slow,” * makes hand gestures indicating he’s touching a lot of curves* “touching and feeling. Feel the whole way around.” (at this stage the yelling in the crowd is probably costing a few eardrums) “You’re moving just so close” Jon now makes a hand gesture that indicates that he has brought his face very close to the woman’s, but doesn’t go for the kiss. He drops the hand, and fully confident that he knows how this is done, he says the final words as he turns around, talking to the friends he’s playing with this night. “And you wait for her to make the move BACK!”
And I’m yelling and screaming in front of my desktop: “Oh my God, that is EXACTLY how it is done!”
That’s how you get a rush.
~Suzanne
Rock Star Writer
.
The BOX SET SERIES
In 2004 Bon Jovi created a 4-cd (1 dvd) box set with unreleased work,
called “100.000.000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong”. In this series, The Box Set, I am discussing all of the 50 songs
video:
The song Open All Night on the Bounce album (not the Box Set) is from the same family.
In 2004 Bon Jovi created a 4-cd (1 dvd) box set with unreleased work, called “100.000.000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong”. In this series, The Box Set, I am discussing all of the 50 songs.
And it’s a welcome back post!
Because a few weeks ago, I quit this series. A major reason was that in 2019 I had already written about the songs that were up next:
So “Open all night” and “These arms are open all night” had already been discussed.
The following is an updated version from that post.
Making it the oldest post in this series.
(These arms are) Open all night | series: The Box Set
For all women currently between 42 and 50, this was the male bench mark. God have mercy on our souls.
“This title, Open all night, we’ve used about five times. We finally did a song on the Bounce record,
called Open all night.
Great title, we never could get it right.”
Jon Bon Jovi, 32 min 28 sec
.
So according to Jon, there were five songs called Open All Night.
But even if you go with the three that were released, you’d have trouble distinguishing them.
The only mainstream version of Open all night is, like Jon said, on the album Bounce.
The Box Set, 100,000,000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong, is for the fans and has the two other versions:
Open all night and These arms are open all night.
Three different songs, but they’re all ballads which makes them similar.
And although the title of the song on Bounce is “Open all night”;
The lyrics of that song sing “These arms are open all night.”
Adding to the confusion about which song is which.
I’ve listened to all three songs, and here is what I found.
For clarity’s sake, I m going to assume the protagonist of these songs is male, and preferably Jon Bon Jovi, unless he specifically says that he is Jones and he drives a dented red Chevrolet then we go with that. And we’ll assume the other person is a woman.
Is about a girlfriend who has left to make it in the world and her boyfriend waiting at the bar, telling her not to worry. Open all night refers to the boyfriend being open all night, meaning waiting for her.
2. These arms are open all night
at 100,000,000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong live version Borgota 2004
Is about a man who introduces himself as “Jones” and informs us he has a dented red Chevrolet, and gives a woman he met at the bar a detailed description how to get to his house.
Now if Jon Bon Jovi would try pick me up with this: “These arms are open all night If you need someone to talk to A hand to hold onto and if it feels right These arms are open all night“
That would be a Hell YES! if ever there was any.
I would feel completely seen, wanted, desired, and although I m not a night person at all, I would make an exception.
However.
This song identifies him as not being JBJ, but as “Jones”.
And I m actually surprised Jones sees the headlights of the woman behind him following him, because he confesses (out loud!?):
“God only knows how long it’s been that I been this lonely”
So instead of the gorgeous man Jon Bon Jovi – and then I have not even talked about the husky speaking voice Jon has and the sensitivity of the songs, and so on – so instead of that man who was glued to my wall in the 80s, who was my first concert, and who still falls into the category “I still definitely would”;
We’re now talking about someone I just met, in the middle of the night, who feels lonely?
I have not heard one reason to say Yes to this.
And even if it had been Jon “Rock God” Bon Jovi?
The shorter the encounter is gonna be, the more I want to feel special and loved, and a real connection.
There is a reason this is the one that made it to the main studio album.
It starts with a verse where Jon – Jon’s back! I like him MUCH better than somebody who introduces himself with a surname Jones – shares with us that he saw us coming from a mile away and noticed our poor little heart was bruised black and blue.
Then we get a verse where he tells us that he too, has been hurt. He knows how it feels. And that the last thing we need is another pickup line, so he’s not going to do that.
Wait.
Maybe I should just quote this. Here are those verses:
“I saw you coming from a mile away Trying to hide behind that pretty face Bet my last dollar baby you been bruised Poor little heart all black ‘n’ blue
Last thing you need’s another pickup line You must have heard them all a thousand times God only knows what you been through Believe me I been broken too
It aches, it breaks, it takes your breath away I’ve been around that block a time or two” … Okay, if there is a woman now, considering to NOT immediately go with Jon, she’s lying.
We just got picked up in 2,5 verse.
Bring in the chorus: “Baby, I don’t want to fall in love with you I try, try, try but I can’t get around the truth Please don’t say my name, give this heart a break I don’t want to make the same mistake but it’s too late I’ll leave on the light These arms are open all night”
Song number 3 wins.
Jon gets the girl.
This is such a no-brainer that I feel like an idiot even going through the rest of the song, but I will do so, as a sign of song-appreciation.
So we had Jon buttering us up with perfect verses and bringing it home with the best pickup chorus in the history of rock music and then we have: (Take it away Jon)
“I got your taste in the back of my mouth I want to reach in and pull it out And I’d be lying if I didn’t say When you’re this close I’m afraid
Of the way I’ll feel if I touch your hair The way I’ll miss you when you’re not there And that I’ll see you when I close my eyes It’s too late, I’ve crossed that line“
Not only did Jon have us at “Baby, I don’t want to fall in love with you”; He now burns the very last of our entire defense system to the ground, by admitting he too has fallen hard for us. That he didn’t want to fall in love, he wasn’t looking for it, he wasn’t needy or lonely, and yet it happened anyway. *soft sigh* Isn’t life beautiful?
Are we now not all dreaming of being swept off our feet by someone we don’t want to fall in love with, but we just can’t help ourselves?
In another documentary, Jon speaks about his mixed feelings of singing ballads in front of a live audience. The interviewer tells him that the crowd was completely quiet the other night, when Jon sang his version of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah. Jon answers: “There is a ballad called Open all Night, on Bounce, that I love for that reason.
But it gets the polite applause at the end, because it’s not that..”
*makes energetic hand gestures*
(18 min 30 sec)
After this analysis of the lyrics of Open all Night on Bounce, I don’t believe Jon.
I don’t believe anyone would not get it, if Jon sang this live.
That was not a “polite” applause. That was “God that hurt please play a rock anthem to make it go away.” – applause.
It was a crowd with arms that were not just open for Jon;
They would have given them both to have him in it.
photo by Mark Weiss – click to go to his amazing book The Decade That Rocked, 2020
There are few things as frustrating, as having a good night sleep and a day filled with sunlight (sun? at least daylight), fresh air and hours of exercise with walking and cycling the forests of Nijmegen;
And having them punished by a headache.
Because I had not finished my second (!) coffee this morning, I thought there was a chance the headache was from caffeine withdrawal, so I had an extra coffee. But to no effect.
I spent the entire morning studying all the notes I made (I have scripted out all the lines Jon has said during theLahr concert, Germany)
Filmed the video too but threw it out because it wasn’t good enough.
And then there was the “biathlon” which did not bring me home blushing and in radiant health, ready to reshoot.
Not good. Not good at all.
But, and this is where YouTube turns out to be your Savior in times of need,
I was happily surprised by a YouTube suggestion: A review of the Bon Jovi album Bounce. And Bounce may be my favorite Bon Jovi album….
Erik is funny, knowledgeable, and although everybody who gives almost all heavy guitar songs on Bounce a straight “ten” has already been cleared by me, it was when he shared his thoughts on the ballads and just casually threw in “Silent Night”; That I knew this was a true fan.
Click to go to YouTube playlist of Dry County live performances, starting with the very first in 1993
You never know if something is the beginning or the end of something, don’t you?
With relationships, I think many of us have thought we were at the beginning of something.
A thing that, in retrospect, never quite started but was held together by a desire for a lover, for a friend, for a career.
It was a Fata Morgana from our desire to belong, that did not exist in reality.
Once we took our eyes off it, just for a moment, it evaporated. When we looked back, all we could see was hot vibrating air over desert sand.
And in all likeliness, that’s all there ever was.
But the opposite happens as well. That you do not wish, don’t want nor will it to life yet year after year? That friendship is still going strong.
That lover is still your number one.
You still work for pleasure, the good experiences just layer on top of each other, and you have to pinch yourself time after time.
Is this real?
I am someone who does not count on anything to be there in the morning; And as a result, I frequently get happily surprised. Often I believe that something is so good, so outstanding, it can never last forever. Or, like I had with the 2019 Bon Jovi concert; I KNOW, it’s not forever.
It’s 2,5 hours, and then you have to wait for years. And if you add a Covid pandemic, you may have to wait for years times twice, before Bon Jovi plays Nijmegen, The Netherlands again.
Yet little did I know that the 2019 Bon Jovi concert I had been looking out for and preparing for for half a year; Would not bring about an apocalypse of being a fan, where it would all come crashing down in a violent post-concert rebound.
No.
The concert had been just the beginning.
I had not even scratched the surface of what being a Bon Jovi fan was going to bring me.
My journey into fandom, into Bon Jovi, and probably also the journey into me, had just started.
I know so much more about Bon Jovi, since then. And one of the songs that keeps unraveling and revealing its secrets, is Dry County.
Although of course it doesn’t;
No matter how often you listen to it, you can never fully understand it.
No matter how often you take your gaze off it;
No matter how many years go by;
No matter how often you listen to it, or alternatively regardless of how little attention you pay to it;
Dry County is the well that has always more to give.
video: the latest addition to the expanding collection of memorable Dry County performances. An extremely rare rendition of Dry County, sung in the original key.
Click to watch a newly remastered 35 minute video from the concert Bon Jovi gave on New year’s Eve, 1990
The first of January is my strongest day of the year. You could even say that knowing it will soon come, is what gets me through December.
New Year’s Day doesn’t just mark new beginnings, with the days getting longer and a full year ahead, it’s also the ending of a season where all my days seem to disappear somewhere under Christmas shopping, gift wrapping, meal planning, buying and or designing seasonal postcards, and so on.
In January we start over, to make ourselves or our lives aright.
At least, that’s how I see it.
So today was indeed spent doing the things I from now on want to do daily, as well as having a great time with friends, and walking and sunlight and cycling and being very excited for the whole new year- but now at the end of the day, I feel: Blimey. For this Rock Star Writer project I have very little to show for….
It’s like so much has failed for this site, as well as for the YouTube series, that although I am still enthusiastic for about 80% of the projects, they are all so far behind on schedule that I almost don’t dare to show up for them. Don’t dare to bring them back to memory, by picking them up!
As long as I keep them hidden under the last posts, no one will know. As long as I don’t post a new video, no one will know how much time has passed.
But then again: That is not how I want to start the year. Or at least, it’s not how I want to start January 2nd.
So I ve decided to “come clean”. To be honest about the mess I made, and take responsibility for not doing the things I said I was gonna do. And what you can expect in 2021. .
ENDING Most SERIES
This site and channel started in 2019 as Rock Star Yoga. And I ve created about 50 videos for YouTube on juicy topics (I remember videos where I now can’t believe I dared to share that!) but also really novel ones that basically came down to a 50/50 mix of yoga and personal development with Bon Jovi.
And the result was really great.
But due to a combination of factors, some technical and some personal, I started feeling very conscious of the content.
And on top of that, the description boxes kept getting out of date, because I went through some changes with my offerings, website names etc.
A few weeks ago I started restoring them – which was a great idea. But I also turned it into a new project where I blogged the restored video, and adding a new blog post as well. In retrospect that’s when I got overwhelmed. But blogging/ restoring my old content was not the first thing that failed.
I also had a series Live from London, which had stranded. A series The Box Set, which had stranded. And a YouTube series on concerts from 1995, that had also stranded.
But now the mess was so big that I have decided to cancel all series (The Box Set, Live In London, restoring old videos) and only pick up the YouTube concert series, from everything I started in 2020.
And for the blog? I will do what has worked, time and time again, which is a line I even repeated in every description box on YouTube (too bad I didn’t understand its implications!).
It was: “Blog with its own unique stories (+ address to this site) “
This blog Rock Star Writer will have its own, unique, one-off, single-shot stories of whatever comes up.
I’m singing Carpe Diem I’m saying seize the day Come on, let’s live forever It’s new year’s day
from Bon Jovi, New year’s Day 2016
. Let 2021 be the year where we do not plan ahead.
And make it Carpe Diem instead.
~Suzanne
Rock Star Writer
.
The New Rock Star Writer
Subscribe to the blog, to get these posts in your mailbox. You can find the subscription button on this page, probably somewhere on the right.
Click photo to go to the turning point show: Bon Jovi | Legendary Concert at Rosemont Horizon | Rosemont 1993
Ever since my college years where I once made the mistake to go out on Christmas Eve and there were only a handful of people in the bar
– in my defense: In the Netherlands Christmas is built around first and second day of Christmas, not Christmas Eve-
I seem to need this total Christmas disconnect wake-up call every 7 years or so.
And judging from the pointless exercise I just made to the business building where I have a mailing address only to find it closed early? That 7 year marker was today.
You can’t escape destiny, because I sure as hell tried! You see, whereas normally I would never have gone there on a moment where there may be informal pre-Christmas afternoon drinks going on, with me being the casual visitor and ALL sides feeling awkward? I knew that was not the case this year!
It’s 2020 and we’re all in lock down, saving me a lot of thinking about how to avoid being a party crasher at working life, extrovert life, or family life situations.
Or how to avoid being too heavily confronted with everybody who has entrepreneurial drinks, business drinks, or other work related drinks.
It’s not that technically I would not be able to have them, although maybe by now it would be difficult because everybody knows I ll gladly clean up after you, pay you a bribe, or babysit your alligator; Anything in order not to attend.
Technically, “I” was often welcome to attend. But because what I stood for, who I am, wasn’t, I never wanted to go.
I felt I, as in who I really am, was never invited.
Although I had one friend in 2017 who invited the real me to her birthday. To this day I still remember and appreciate that, and I now know I was right in suspecting that real me was never invited all those other times and also that I was right in deciding I was never going to attend another party not feeling the way I was welcomed in 2017.
So although my problem with socializing is broader than just December, this month in particular, covering up, NOT naming things, and turning yourself inside and out to avoid confrontations, and to pretend everything is fine seems to be THE central underlying premises of all festivities.
I feel in order to be acceptable to people I have to dim my inner light to a degree that could barely hold a teapot lukewarm.
You cannot attend unless you re willing to play the game that everything is fine. Even though, obviously, everything is rarely fine and the beehive usually has more the likings of a hornets’ nest.
So compared to other years I thought this year would be surprisingly easy in avoiding uncomfortable confrontations surrounding Christmas.
Until two hours ago and I stood in front of a dark office building.
Now I have a firm belief that everything happens for a reason. For example, a not very far fetched scenario could be there was a letter from tax services in my mail, that would have spoiled my post-admin glow, which I attained when after basically 20 years of having a business, I could close the books Tuesday and sent them to my bookkeeper. . Maybe Universe made sure an order I had placed for Christmas, was delayed and rescheduled twice, so I ended up housebound today.
By the time the parcel had arrived, I was too late and the building had closed.
Maybe I was never meant to find my mail today.
So it’s not the mail I worry about.
My worries are deeper, more profound, and they have the urgency of an existential crisis that needs to be solved NOW, as far as I am concerned. Why am I disconnected from society? What the F is this? What is, the broader picture of the broader picture of the meta of things and THEN the meaning of life, for me?
In the description box of this 1993 Bon Jovi concert, YouTube’s most popular Bon Jovi channel hAnD90 wrote:
“This show was THE TURNING POINT of the Keep The Faith tour and the one that gave us the “holy” month of April.
Jon referred to this concert a couple of times in interviews himself.
Allegedly, someone had said to him backstage that this would be the last time he’d be able to play such a venue since Keep The Faith had been far behind most people’s expectations and ticket sales weren’t going well either.
It is said that this put Jon over the edge and they went on to perform as if it was the last time they’d be able to take any stage.
Concert attendees stated that Jon had to literally be carried off stage due to physical exhaustion after the set.“
Jon Bon Jovi had to be carried off stage.
At the threat of being pushed down in rock n roll hierarchy, 7 years after achieving world fame and beyond with the album “Slippery When Wet”,
he was prepared to give it his all.
There is a saying: “It is never crowded, along the extra mile.” Meaning that if you are willing to give more, give it your all, and rather die trying than give up? The world is yours.
And so it was. The world became theirs, once again. Resulting not just in what are considered their strongest years of touring, but also what many consider their best record These Days (1995)
Ultimate though, the string of successes came to a still. Everyone went their ways. Jon appeared to have lost his heart to acting and his late 90s solo album was an indie record, not a rock record.
It became awfully quiet.
Until seven years after that Rosemont concert, Bon Jovi punched the world in the gut with their comeback album, Crush (2000) and first single It’s My Life.
This ain’t a song for the broken-hearted No silent prayer for the faith-departed I ain’t gonna be just a face in the crowd You’re gonna hear my voice When I shout it out loud
With the album Crush and the single It’s My Life, Bon Jovi broke into what would become their most successful and productive decade ever.
Once every seven years we all get a chance to pick ourselves up.
To get our asses back on that stage, and to give it our all.
Pull all the stops.
Blow the fuses.
Fire on all cylinders.
And to not just go that extra mile; But to stretch it to its maximum potential.
Until you have absolutely nothing more to give and they have to carry you off stage.
~Suzanne
Rock Star Writer
.
The New Rock Star Writer
Subscribe to the blog, to get these posts in your mailbox. You can find the subscription button on this page, probably somewhere on the right.
Whether it was due to magical abilities of my hAnD90 mask, which I received from Sinterklaas (Sankt Nikolaus/ Dutch Santa Claus),
– Sinterklaas made the mask himself!
There is no official merchandise from the channel probably because Dominik from hAnD90 seems to be as modest as he is brilliant –
Or maybe it was not because of the magical mouth mask but because of some other reason;
But after 5 days my favorite Bon Jovi video channel hAnd90 is back online!
And he immediately spoiled us with three new uploads in 72 hours,
among which a live video premiere with chat!
I attended and after 2,5 hours of online partying – there were surprisingly many people drinking beer – and so much great input from other fans,
which performances were great to watch, I decided to look them all up and make a play list in honor of this night.
I m using it for yoga but you can use it anyway you like!.
A selection of Madison Square Garden night 1 and 2, was turned into a dvd
And here’s a link to that newly uploaded full Bon Jovi concert video Bon Jovi | 2nd Night at Madison Square Garden | New York 2008 You can replay our chat by looking for the “Live Chat” option.
~Suzanne
Rock Star Writer
.
The New Rock Star Writer
Subscribe to the blog, to get these posts in your mailbox. You can find the subscription button on this page, probably somewhere on the right.
The main reason I stayed away, and in all likeliness will always stay away, from using known concepts around non-monogamy, is that I DO NOT feel they start at the same point as I do.
There are so many cute things in this description, I would add a blushing emoji with the hands, if I knew where to find things like that on my desktop.
Whether it was due to magical abilities of my hAnD90 mask, which I received from Sinterklaas (Sankt Nikolaus/ Dutch Santa Claus),
Rock Star Writer 